Tag: relationships

Friends and Evolution

About a month ago, I was challenged to examine myself and why it seems I struggle to retain authentic friendships. The words were spewed upon me critically and harshly with the intent to damage my soul. But, to no avail; I know who I am and whose I am……

Truth is, at 46 years old, I don’t view friendships in the way I use to 10, 20, nor 30 years ago. I accredit this to the process called evolution and a spiritual mind renewal.

Unapologetically, I happen to be a critical thinker, filled with creativity in thoughts and ideas. I prefer to be alone to operate in that space a great deal of the time. It’s a part of my make up. Periodic isolation helps me to be better for others. This makes me who I am comfortably and naturally; introverted.

This loner side of me is the dominant side of my personality but does not define who I am in totality. I certainly don’t loath the presence of people in an intimate and binding way. Like any human being, I need others to survive in healthy yet productive friendships.

As I have matured, I no longer keep people in my personal space based off of longevity and simply just to say I have a friend. If there is no stimulating friction between me and another, I tend to get bored and move on. I’d simply rather not because it feels like wasted time, SOMETIMES. May sound a bit arrogant but this happens to be MY RealBoldTruth!

Again, those words may seem harsh and that’s truly not the intent. You see, I thrive in the environment of like minded people. When I need friendships they must have certain attributes. Those I can learn from, grow with mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t tolerate anything less very well and notice that I can get turned off when growth, partnering, temptation to slip into old habits or mindless entertainment is in excess.

If a person entered my life two decades ago and still talks the same, still walks the same, still hangs out in the same places, and has not evolved, I begin to distance myself. I admit that at times I don’t start the process in the best of ways. This, I do need to work on so that others can understand my perspective and I don’t leave people wondering and hanging.

Today my circle of friends looks nothing like those I had 10 years ago. I am blessed with some women in my life that I consider true sisters, an attribute I’ve never had and don’t take for granted. I have more friends today than at any other time in my life! We hang out and communicate in unique and non traditional ways but it works for us and compliments our demanding lifestyles.

My friends are sharp, spirit filled and spirit led. One or two are true confidants. They challenge me NOT to stay where I am and to never get comfortable as if I’ve arrived. They call me on my stuff when I don’t want to hear it! They won’t let me drown in my own flaws or self pity and are certainly NOT in competition with me for they too know their value and God-Given worth. They are mentors, motivators, prayer partners, business owners, educators, unique visionaries and so much more. I operate in the same capacity for them in return.

So to my critics that inspired this blog, you are right only in part. I don’t retain friendships with people that keep me stuck, standing still, functioning in old unproductive habits and other attributes that stifle my confidence and growth. I’m too old to just be trying to fit in. I won’t compromise simply to say I have friends for that combination won’t be a lasting match for anyone involved. Evolution is inevitable, seasons change, and so must I.

The Error on Page 100

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but there’s an error in my book book Angels – The Discovery! I absolutely cringed when it was reveal to me! A body of work that I’ve put an incredible amount of time into is still flawed. I felt like a failure!

I quickly reminisced on the countless days and lengthy nights spent combing through the more than 58,000 word manuscript. I read it over and over again! How could I have missed this? So did my publisher, yet the error was continually overlooked. I initially thought I wasted weeks, months and even years working so tirelessly at this thing. Not to mention the financial investment sacrificed to bring this project to life. I so wanted my debut to the world as a published author to be spot and error free! But like many others before me, that didn’t happen.

That mental beating I put myself through lasted about 24 hours. I had to get over it! The book is here now and still needs to be introduced to the world! God certainly didn’t get me to this point for this is HIS project. I am sure He knew it would be slightly flawed.

But oh how much He can do with flaws! As I launched the book, most readers never detected the error or simply never mentioned it. They were so completely engrossed by the story line and overall content that the minor blemish didn’t take away from the ultimate message. Review after positive review were beginning to pour in further diminishing my over perfectionist thinking. It is good and is finished!

Often times we see the flaws in our lives, character, output and conduct and we magnify them far greater than they need to be. The emphasis should never be made on a slight imperfection but rather the overwhelming beauty of the overall person or matter.

Beneath what we feel is a mistake lies nothing more than intent to show the world what God is capable of achieving. He can do so much with human defects, weaknesses, shortcomings and beyond in order to get Glory that is rightfully His.

I can’t take any credit for the success of this book. Not because of the error on page 100 but the process endured to complete the same. It was all Him from beginning to end. I have faith that this story will impact countless lives, flaws and all!

What faults in your life do you amplify while discounting all that’s truly good and perfect? Stop doing that to yourself and praise your Savior for these imperfections. They serve as purposeful reminders that He can do so much even with these errors present. In fact, our flaws are often intentionally placed at the forefront, exposed for all to see. When success is achieved, we will remain humble and point upward to where our help comes from.

Soulful Sunday – Try Me! (Saith The Lord)

Some people muddle through life in great confusion. Most don’t even know it. Unfortunately, this produces inconsistencies, denial, ill choices, negative outcomes, mental instability and delayed blessings.

When we try living separate and apart from God convincing ourselves that we have control over our circumstances, we rob ourselves and those connected to us from a multitude of favor.

Since God does not affect our “Free Will” and allows us to choose our own way, He patiently awaits for us to go through enough in hopes that ultimately we will Surender to Him!

“Try Me!” Sayeth The Lord

When you can’t figure it out.

When you loose control over your lifestyle.

When you can’t find your way.

When you are down to your last.

When those who were once there suddenly are no longer.

When you are left all alone.

When sickness invades your body.

When poverty threatens your household.

When……(Well, you fill in the blank)

There is nothing in this world more consistent than what God can reveal, promise and deliver.

When you reach that point in your life where no answers can be provided, nothing makes sense and people fail you miserably, ask the Lord what you should do. Listen and His response will most likely be, “Are You Done? Now Try Me!”

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Knowing Your Worth

Being a survivor of more than two decades of chronic depression, I vividly recall struggling with knowing my worth.

During those extremely dark years, my self esteem was low; more like non-existent! I had such a warped perception of myself and didn’t see value in who I was as a person, woman and even a Child of God. During my stent with daily depressive mood swings, I professed to be a Christian the entire time but was not experiencing the victory over my mind which was rightfully mine!

As a result, many around me failed to value me as well. Why should they? If I didn’t value myself there was no way I could demand that anyone else do the same. I allowed myself to be taken advantage of, disrespected, overlooked, passed by and so much more. I wasted so many priceless years looking to be validated by those who never deserved me in the first place.

Fast forward to today, my stance and how I view myself is the healthiest it’s ever been! I know who I am and who I belong to! My Heavenly Father is a King so that makes me a princess! I expected to be treated as such!

In my marriage

By my friends

By my children

In my Career/On my job

In my community

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not looking for people to bow down to me like the Queen of England. That’s not what I mean by any definition!

It just means that I demand to be respected, heard, valued and treated as a rational human being. That’s what knowing your “Worth” will do! It will give you the power and strength to stop others from harming you with their words, deeds and actions.

We are all worthy of this in every facet of our lives and should never allow another to treat us any less than the precious Children of God that we are!

Nuff said; That is all!

Photo/Set Backdrop Designed by Kay Lynn of Diamond In The Ruff Event Planning

RBT Show – Senseless Small Stuff

Hi RBT Readers!

Blessings to you all! I want to take a moment to thank all who have subscribed to this blog and have cheered me along my writing journey. I don’t say it enough being over consumed in business, but I thank and appreciate you from the bottom of my heart!

The RBT blog has progressed from a written platform to a audio show and now a visual talk show on The Heart Ministry Radio platform! What a journey! I’ve learned quickly that’s it’s easier to hide behind my computer or microphone than to assume the pressures of clothes, make up and hair on the set every week! Boy oh boy, what a journey!

My last show that aired this past Monday is entitled “Senseless Small Stuff! Based on the blog I wrote a couple of years ago where I share a personal RBT of mine about my snoring husband! Funny in the grand scheme but truly a Small Matter.

Here’s the link to the show’s replay. Enjoy viewing and remember, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff!

RBT Show – Senseless Small Stuff

Soulful Sunday – A Wake Up Call For Christians!

Many believers make Christianity look incredibly undesirable and not worth the conversion effort. The world looks upon us and struggles to see true benefits of walking with Christ.

With too many religious practices, limited reflections of how “fun” can be had and often appearing like the majority is barely making it, I can see why non-believers choose to remain just that! It does not appear corporately that the Body of Christ is prospering.

Now I’m not talking about mere material things. Although essential in life, this is the least of things I am referring to.

I’m referring to complete prosperity in the totality of man.

*Success in our relationships

*True redemption in our health

*Consistency in our conduct

*Overflow in our finances

Instead many of us are divorcing at the same pace as the world, are dying before our time, act as if we’ve never confessed the prayer of salvation and constantly struggle in lack or “Just Enough”.

We make it seem like the devil takes better care of his than God ever promised His children that He would!

As a result, the world struggles to respect our position and our purpose in the gospel. This is exactly what the enemy wants.

Christ indeed paid it all! So why are we not reaping all that He laid His life down for?

It’s our lack of FAITH!

It’s The words we speak contrary to His promises!

It’s the company we keep!

It’s the voices we entertain when we are alone!

Many of us need to REALLY try God at His very Word! Put a demand on Heaven and stop making Christianity look so unattractive!

Just think of what could happen if you routinely did the opposite REGULARLY!

Instead of giving up on your relationships and seeking the easy way out, Walk In Love with people until change comes.

What about writing and speaking out declarations over that illness DAILY while you do what you must in the natural regarding diet and exercise.

Challenge yourself to be a better representative of Christ in your character to win those who don’t believe.

Truly trust God with your finances by managing your money according to His plan and not your own which probably is not working anyway.

How much more would our Heavenly Father blow us away with His goodness when we truly activate FAITH? It’s the very element that keeps us from living that abundant life that He promised us.

Make a decision today to prepare to go into the new Year REALLY believing and trusting God. This cannot be done with mere words but also in action and deed. God has already done all that He will. It’s up to us to move and ignite in FAITH in order to see all His promises TRULY come to pass!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – No Other Way!

I gave my life to Christ at the tender age of 14. At that stage I had experienced some minor challenges in life that felt rather monumental back then. Peer pressures, 1st heart break, fleeting friendships and academic problems. At that time, those issues seemed rather detrimental but then life REALLY began to hit!

As a teenager transitioning into a young adult, I wavered away from my faith quiet a bit. I began to stumble through life; desperately trying to discover who I am, what’s my purpose and where do I truly belong. During times of great frustration in many failed attempts at trying to figure it all out, I would deviate spiritually. Doing my own thing seemed more simple, less pressure, and indeed much easier. That never lasted long! Ultimately, I would return asking myself why do things that are not so pleasing to my Savior feel so darn good? At least initially they did; until I found myself in deep rooted trouble, despair, guilt and shame!

Today as a woman in my 40’s, I no longer suffer with roller coaster of emotions wondering where I belong. I’ve made up in my mind that I am a child of The Most High God and in Him I shall remain.

I’ll spend the rest of my days crucifying my flesh in order to magnify His Name. I’ll forsake the opinion of others and consider only what my Savior says of me. Most other opinions that did not line up with the Word of God have consistently failed me anyway. To this day, God has never!

I’ll speak of His goodness, praise His name and share my testimonies in RealBoldTruth unapologetically! He has been too good to me to live any other way! I’ll allow Him to develop my gifts then use them to win more to the body of Christ, for this is what’s required of me.

I’ve spent enough time on both sides of faith to effectively analyze which life is more beneficial for me. I’m fully persuaded these days to live no other way but in my Heavenly Father.

All else is darkness, confusion, trouble, pain, compromise, wayward thinking, Luke warm, non prosperous, curse inducing and Destiny forsaken.

I’ve lived enough years in all of the above and now consistently want all that God has for me. There truly is no other way!

That may mean I’ll spend the rest of my days fighting my sinful flesh and commanding it to line up with God’s will! It may be difficult but I no longer desire the easy way out! That’s cowardly and will lead to nothing else but what I’ve truly been delivered from. RealBoldTruth!

There’s no turning back for freedom I’ve experienced in Christ in my mind, in my body, in my spirit. That freedom is now evident in my family, in my ministry and everything that God allows me to touch! I can’t turn back now! There’s so much more and I’m finally excited about my life!

When you sit back and consider where you came from and where you are today, are you too convinced that you can’t live no other way but for God?

What stark differences do you see?

What’s your experience and how have those around you changed toward and around you as a result?

The benefits of living my life as a Believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ has not and will not fail me. It’s the only constant that I’ve ever known. For that reason alone, there’s no other way!

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – REVEAL, DEAL, HEAL

This message is not unique by far. It’s been told, preached and written about a million times over. Yet I feel compelled to reiterate today because many of us need to be reminded. The enemy likes snatching the Word from our spirits the instant it is uttered to keep us entrapped in bondage.

The only way to heal from a thing is to reveal it then deal with it! There is no other way! All else is simply avoidance and the rehearsed act of suppression. We may be able to keep symptoms of that pain at bay for a time; but it’s toxicity will spill out into the blood streams of our spirits in very nasty and unexpected ways. This leak ruins relationships, makes us ugly, robs us of blessings and stuns our growth.

REVEAL means to face that thing that you don’t want to talk about. When you do, the memories of it all haunts your soul and brings about tears, fears and more. But once it’s exposed in a healthy way through fellowship and wise counsel it’s power over your life will begin to decrease immediately!

DEAL means that you finally get the courage to fight for your future and your life by declaring and decreeing that there is something greater in you and for you! Therefore you take a stand that this thing will die and die today!

HEAL means that you begin to shed off those layers of hurt, pain, shame and blame and begin to LIVE!! That thing, however it’s defined for you, is a coward and a thief! If you want it to be over, a simple decision needs to be made by only you! Taking back your authority is what you must do to move forward!

REVEAL, DEAL and HEAL is the formula necessary to embrace your destiny and to stop looking back on matters, people and circumstances that you can’t change. They are only mere facts in your life but don’t need to define you indefinitely! Leave them in your past and put your foot down. Get into your rightful position in Christ Jesus and get all that He has for you in THIS life time! Do it while you still have time, still have breath, still have people who look up to you, still have His Grace and Mercy….Answer me this; Aren’t you worth it?

Until next time, happy Sunday!

STFWO – Talk Show – Forgiveness

images

 

 

Hi there The RLRT readers.  At the beginning of this month I had an incredible opportunity to be a guest speaker on my Church’s Monthly internet talk show program.  It’s called Straight Talk for Women Only.  I spoke about my testimony concerning my “Job-Like” experience that I wrote about in my  2/28/2016 Soulful Sunday Blog. (Soulful Sunday – 2/28/2016)

 

I will be writing more intimately on the experience in articles to come. Thought I would share the talk show link with you.  It’s a little under an hour long and I don’t really get warmed up until about 6-7 minutes in ! My first time doing something like this because I am typically very quiet and more introverted naturally, but God is apparently calling me out!!  If you have an opportunity to view let me know your thoughts.

 

Although this is a talk show for women, anyone can relate to this subject concerning Forgiveness.  If you are disappointed in yourself, can’t seem to get past an offense that someone subjected you to or can even admit that you are mad at God, this could be what you need to hear. Blessings always and I so appreciate your readership support.

Related Articles:  Forgive God    Being Mad At God

Victory Christian Fellowship – Straight Talk for Women Only is a monthly internet talk show that airs the 1st Thursday of every month.  For more information  and show archives, visit http://www.straighttalkforwomenonly.com.

 

 

#Jesus  #forgiveness  #madatgod

Hey Boss, I Quit!!

Less than a year ago I was offered what I thought was an opportunity of a life time! A job earning more money than I had ever imagined, the distance was 10 minutes away from my home, and I could even telecommute periodically. It was a promotional opportunity and when I applied I did not think I completely qualified. I took a step out on what I thought was faith. Six interviews with 13 people later I, yes I, was selected as the final candidate!

 

I couldn’t believe it and praised God for the increase! I was really nervous about starting and hoped that I had the ability as a professional to excel in my new role. I had experienced much success in countless others, this one just seemed to make sense as the next career stepping stone on my way to the top.

 

Approximately 7 months later I found myself resigning from the job I thought was going to put my career on the map and I was absolutely devastated! I endured a tremendous set of unusual trials beginning a little more than a month into the position.  Ultimately, I crumbled under the pressure. My health, both physical and mental were being grossly affected. I was disappointed beyond description in myself and thought the enemy had won! Certainly I had failed and now it was over before it truly got started….

 

 

After consulting God about the ordeal, He revealed why I was subjected to such overwhelming insults in my workplace. I learned that I have been incredibly stubborn in my pursuit for success, have been operating in my own self-defined purpose without His consent, and have been grossly neglecting the gifts He has placed in my life. What a tremendous eye opener, harsh reality and a lesson long over due that I had to learn!

 
You see, for years I have been chasing dollars and trading my life in to the highest bidder. This has been because I truly lacked faith in God that He is capable of supplying all my needs which far exceeds monetary provision in a paycheck. Since I have never experienced increase any other way besides earnings from a job, I literally convinced myself that the only way to experience the God of “More Than Enough” (2nd Corinthians 9:8)  was by heavy pursuit of the next big promotion in title, statute and theory. I couldn’t see it any other way but Faith doesn’t operate by what Chanel could SEE! REAL self TALK!

It was clear very early on in my new position that this was not God’s will for my life. But I ignored the signs which were many!!! Initially I chalked up the controversy I was facing as the enemy trying to steal my blessing. I began to pray for my co-workers, leadership and external partners thinking that was the key to turning the fast sinking ship around. My so called spiritual logic was so far from the truth and was my WILL and not the WILL of my Heavenly Father.

 

 

I began seeing my husband, children and friends as thorns in my life because they wanted me after work and I simply could not produce the best me for them because I was stressed and exhausted! That’s when my health became seriously affected.

 

 (Mommy/Daddy, Stop working and come play with me!)

 

After extended time away from my hostile work environment, God showed me that the thorns in my life were really the job! The roses were those significant relationships I was half giving myself too. Repentance was necessary! No job or amount of money is worth their sacrifice nor mine! Never Again!

 

I finally accepted that it wasn’t me, due to the high turn over not only in the role I was in but in the office overall. (They couldn’t keep staff and leadership failed to look in the mirror!) Acceptance did not come easy but it did at a cost!

 

 

Are you holding on to a job that is robbing you from God’s best?  Are you struggling in your level of faith to believe that if you let go of this thing that you think you need that you will suffer lack?

 

This is not for everyone and I am certainly not suggesting or promoting a campaign for people to walk out on their jobs!  All things in due season and with wisdom.  This is the first time I ever walked away from a job without a concrete back up plan.  But I knew without question that I was hearing from the Lord!

 

If your stress level is through the roof resulting in change in temperament, sleep, eating habits and you are struggling to be present for the true important matters in your life, I encourage you to seek God and analyze if you are trying to remain in control because you don’t trust that HE will deliver. (Proverbs 3:5)

 

For me, I have suffered zero lack and have actually experienced abundance beyond my imagination since I let go and truly started trusting God with my provision. My confirmation that this entire things was and is HIM! My faith today is through the roof that as long as I keep my confidence in words, deed and action that my Heavenly Father is taking care of me, I shall never want for nothing! (Philippians 4:19) 

  
#quityourjob  #ihatemyjob  #lovelife  #Godourprovider #Jesus #mypurpose