Tag: restore

The Error on Page 100

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but there’s an error in my book book Angels – The Discovery! I absolutely cringed when it was reveal to me! A body of work that I’ve put an incredible amount of time into is still flawed. I felt like a failure!

I quickly reminisced on the countless days and lengthy nights spent combing through the more than 58,000 word manuscript. I read it over and over again! How could I have missed this? So did my publisher, yet the error was continually overlooked. I initially thought I wasted weeks, months and even years working so tirelessly at this thing. Not to mention the financial investment sacrificed to bring this project to life. I so wanted my debut to the world as a published author to be spot and error free! But like many others before me, that didn’t happen.

That mental beating I put myself through lasted about 24 hours. I had to get over it! The book is here now and still needs to be introduced to the world! God certainly didn’t get me to this point for this is HIS project. I am sure He knew it would be slightly flawed.

But oh how much He can do with flaws! As I launched the book, most readers never detected the error or simply never mentioned it. They were so completely engrossed by the story line and overall content that the minor blemish didn’t take away from the ultimate message. Review after positive review were beginning to pour in further diminishing my over perfectionist thinking. It is good and is finished!

Often times we see the flaws in our lives, character, output and conduct and we magnify them far greater than they need to be. The emphasis should never be made on a slight imperfection but rather the overwhelming beauty of the overall person or matter.

Beneath what we feel is a mistake lies nothing more than intent to show the world what God is capable of achieving. He can do so much with human defects, weaknesses, shortcomings and beyond in order to get Glory that is rightfully His.

I can’t take any credit for the success of this book. Not because of the error on page 100 but the process endured to complete the same. It was all Him from beginning to end. I have faith that this story will impact countless lives, flaws and all!

What faults in your life do you amplify while discounting all that’s truly good and perfect? Stop doing that to yourself and praise your Savior for these imperfections. They serve as purposeful reminders that He can do so much even with these errors present. In fact, our flaws are often intentionally placed at the forefront, exposed for all to see. When success is achieved, we will remain humble and point upward to where our help comes from.

STFWO – Divorce & Remarriage

Hi Realboldtruth Readers! Happy Monday to you all!!

This month on Straight Talk for Women Only, Judy, Mary and I spoke candidly on the topic of divorce and remarriage. We aimed to dispel myths and shared personal testimonies of failure and triumph with our viewing audience.

STFWO is an internet talk show that airs the 1st Thursday of every month at 6:00pm EST. To view upcoming shows and archives, visit http://www.stfwo.com.

The program is hosted by Victory Christian Fellowship located at 100 Wilton Blvd, New Castle DE. Please visit the church’s website at http://www.victoryexperience.com for more information.

Blessings!

Sins of a Female Saint – Part II

This post concludes my testimony of my darkest secret; my deepest pain. Click here for Part I 
http://therealliferealtalk.com/2016/10/19/sins-of-a-female-saint-part-1
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I didn’t think I deserved it. After what I did the first time around certainly I will never be worthy again. 

As a believer, I failed miserably! Not keeping promises I made to myself, my 1st spouse and most of all to God. I’ll live the rest of my days and find a way to accept the errors of my ways, conceal my deepest secret and try to get back to being a good Christian; someway and somehow….

But as days turned into weeks, months into years, I battled with chronic depression and insurmountable soul crushing guilt. Like Adam and Eve in the garden after their disobedience, so did I try to hide from God.

Yes I came back to Him and repented for how I contributed to the breakdown in my 1st marriage, but there was so much more spiritually to deal with and I didn’t know how to start. So instead, I suppressed and buried that stinkin thing alive still screaming to breath and heal under mounds of emotional debris. That’s where it shall remain and no one will ever know how much I hurt. It will have to die eventually….

But 8 years later, it’s still screaming. In fact, sounds louder than ever before. Im now scrambling for more creative ways to stifle the noise. But the difficulty is even more complex. I initiated the divorce for matters were truly irreconcilable. Thereafter, my love, affection and adoration for the one I fell for has gotten deeper and now I carry his child. After 22 years of being barren, I conceived with the man I committed adultery with.

I know him more intimately than I ever knew my ex-husband. The good, the bad and the very ugly! We didn’t come into each other’s lives unscathed of life’s scars. We both were extremely broken as individuals; struggling both mentally and spiritually. Yet we clung to one another in the best friendship I have ever experienced. Our souls over the years are bonded and completely tied together. 

After a year of staying away from my love, he returned and asked for my hand. How dare I try this again and try to make it holy especially considering the way we started….

The attraction is just as magnetic as day one nearly 9 years prior. The adoration so much deeper and a beautiful child born between us. How could this natural messy situation ever be made right?

This feels hypocritical beyond description! Would God bless us, can I really be happy, and what consequences will we face individually and collectively? 

Despite all these natural questions, we stepped out on faith after 10 months of Godly counsel and married. 

Two years later, it has not been without challenges. On top of the normal circumstances that most married couples face, without spoken words we still look at each other and silently wonder, “Will you do the same to me?”

Despite our flaws, we hold on to our family, our faith and our God who healed what we thought was unhealable.

We are both being set free and elevating in ministry. Turning what the enemy intended for evil into good. I’ve grown so much spiritually. More concrete in faith, knowledge and the power of God than I ever was a decade ago. The test and trial was excessively painful and I lost a lot. But he restoreth my soul and Great is thy faithfulness!!

Finally I can breath! Without guilt, condemnation and shame. My fervent prayer is that someone facing similar circumstances be encouraged by my journey and make some healthy decisions. My Realboldtruth is indeed my testimony!

Blessings in Brokenness 

  

I wasn’t suppose to be a mother. This is what my mindful flesh settled on. I had been barren for 22 years. With age 40 being just two years away and recently divorced, I abandoned the prophecy.
Isaiah 54 was given to me to compliment the prophetic word by a well known Pastor,  but I gave up hope.

 

 
For 8 years I read and re-read the passage until I nearly memorized all versus. When I divorced in 2008 after nearly 11 years of marriage, I abandoned the word and walked away from my faith. I was full of anger and completely broken.

 
 

Then in January of 2010 I discovered I had conceived. I was out of wedlock and far from the Cross. Just because I abandoned the Word, it was clear that God did not abort the promise that was predestined to come to pass. The ultrasound revealed a boy. For his name shall be Isaiah after the scripture that helped call him forth.

My first child at 39 years of age. I was overjoyed and frightened out of my mind to have the responsibility of molding another human being. I had little to no support from family and friends and questioned if I would be any good at the most important role of my life and his.

Isaiah entering into my world did not come without considerable pain. I’m not referring to physical labor but by mental anguish when I learned during my 5th month ultrasound that he would be born with a disability. A rare birth defect that occurs 1-7500-10,000 births. Mine, my first that I desired for many ages would be that one. My world was shattered all over again and all I could think was “Lord haven’t I been through enough?”

  

The day my son was born, I remember that I did not smile when the doctors ripped him from my womb by C-Section and showed him to me briefly around that thick blue surgical curtain. I was hoping that what doctors saw on the films would be human error. But when I saw him, his deficiency was overwhelming obvious. He was missing a hand and what we thought were going to be some form of functional fingers were just undeveloped nubbins that never reached their full potential. I was petrified and had no clue how I was going to raise a child with special needs after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis just about one year prior. I was single, felt abandoned but realized I had better role up my spiritual sleeves and get it together. If not for myself; for baby Isaiah. He, if no one else, deserved nothing less.

  

I loved him right away and motherhood instincts kicked in instantly. I surprised myself how much of a natural I really was. I initially thought I had grown too selfish to sacrifice everything for another, but I indeed stepped up to the challenge.

  

  

   
  

In order to be my best for my son in mind, body and spirit, I so desperately needed God. I repented and returned to His arms for healing, guidance and direction. My Savior responded immediately and began supplying me with the things and people I needed as a new mother. I became overwhelmed by his goodness and vowed never to leave his shelter again.

  

As for baby Isaiah, he is the most amazing gift besides Christ that I have ever received in my life. He has proven to me and the world that his disability is far from that! Nothing stops this kid. When I once wondered how he would accomplish a task, I now wonder 4 years later, what he will conquer next!

As I reminisce on our beginnings together, my son was my saving Grace from a life I was building that was completely self-destructive. Had he not come when he did, I don’t know how or when I would have returned to my Faith. He’s truly amazing. Everyday when I look in his sweet little face, I thank God for providing me the greatest blessing of all in my most broken places.

  

For more information about children living with upper limb differences, please visit http://www.luckyfinproject.org

#tenfingersareoverrated

#luckyfinsrock

#butGod

#jesus