It’s been a long time since I’ve felt deeply faint at heart. To be truthfully honest, I’ve been heavy in spirit during this time of quarantine. It’s my REALBOLDTRUTH.
But Chanel, you’re so strong, such an encourager, a survivor of so much, and one others look to for inspiration.
I’m sorry to disappoint those who have uttered those words about me, but this time I’ve been shook.
Prior to the “Shut In” I was on a fast for 15 days. I needed to seek God’s face for a very specific challenge in my life. I needed to make sure I wasn’t making permanent decisions based off of temporary and fleeting feelings. I needed to hear confirmation from My Savior.
Well, He gave it to me and confirmed that He releases me to let go of the thing that ails my heart the most. “You’ve done all you can, what remains is in my hands.” Said the Spirit of the Lord.
Upon those words, I broke my fast knowing with great confidence that my next steps would be approved by Him. Then the Pandemic hit putting constraints around every aspect of my life which would not allow me to move.
Instantly, I felt stuck, smothered, constrained, disappointed and without options. Honestly, I began to question what I believe I heard while denying my flesh of food and drink. Did He truly speak to me? If He did, He’s beyond silent right now! I could surly use some specific assurance in this one area of my life that grieves me tremendously.
Although weak in faith, I remember His word that it’s during these times that He is my strength. A very present help in times of trouble.
Move fluidly in this “Temporary” New Normal by way of His Spirit. These are the words I’ve encouraged myself to do. There really is no other choice that will produce a victorious outcome.
He spoke to me indeed but this cross I must carry for a little while longer as my God prepares my ultimate outcome.
I trust Him. I love Him, I want to be used by Him and most importantly, I need Him!
Things will never truly go back to the way they use to be. For the state this world is in has never seen a time like this.
For every believing heart that has been wrestling with the things you see, feel and experience, draw closer to the one that has this all in His hands. This “New Normal” indeed is working for our good. Just wait and see:-)