Tag: courage

Inspiration, Relationships

Friends and Evolution

About a month ago, I was challenged to examine myself and why it seems I struggle to retain authentic friendships. The words were spewed upon me critically and harshly with the intent to damage my soul. But, to no avail; I know who I am and whose I am……

Truth is, at 46 years old, I don’t view friendships in the way I use to 10, 20, nor 30 years ago. I accredit this to the process called evolution and a spiritual mind renewal.

Unapologetically, I happen to be a critical thinker, filled with creativity in thoughts and ideas. I prefer to be alone to operate in that space a great deal of the time. It’s a part of my make up. Periodic isolation helps me to be better for others. This makes me who I am comfortably and naturally; introverted.

This loner side of me is the dominant side of my personality but does not define who I am in totality. I certainly don’t loath the presence of people in an intimate and binding way. Like any human being, I need others to survive in healthy yet productive friendships.

As I have matured, I no longer keep people in my personal space based off of longevity and simply just to say I have a friend. If there is no stimulating friction between me and another, I tend to get bored and move on. I’d simply rather not because it feels like wasted time, SOMETIMES. May sound a bit arrogant but this happens to be MY RealBoldTruth!

Again, those words may seem harsh and that’s truly not the intent. You see, I thrive in the environment of like minded people. When I need friendships they must have certain attributes. Those I can learn from, grow with mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t tolerate anything less very well and notice that I can get turned off when growth, partnering, temptation to slip into old habits or mindless entertainment is in excess.

If a person entered my life two decades ago and still talks the same, still walks the same, still hangs out in the same places, and has not evolved, I begin to distance myself. I admit that at times I don’t start the process in the best of ways. This, I do need to work on so that others can understand my perspective and I don’t leave people wondering and hanging.

Today my circle of friends looks nothing like those I had 10 years ago. I am blessed with some women in my life that I consider true sisters, an attribute I’ve never had and don’t take for granted. I have more friends today than at any other time in my life! We hang out and communicate in unique and non traditional ways but it works for us and compliments our demanding lifestyles.

My friends are sharp, spirit filled and spirit led. One or two are true confidants. They challenge me NOT to stay where I am and to never get comfortable as if I’ve arrived. They call me on my stuff when I don’t want to hear it! They won’t let me drown in my own flaws or self pity and are certainly NOT in competition with me for they too know their value and God-Given worth. They are mentors, motivators, prayer partners, business owners, educators, unique visionaries and so much more. I operate in the same capacity for them in return.

So to my critics that inspired this blog, you are right only in part. I don’t retain friendships with people that keep me stuck, standing still, functioning in old unproductive habits and other attributes that stifle my confidence and growth. I’m too old to just be trying to fit in. I won’t compromise simply to say I have friends for that combination won’t be a lasting match for anyone involved. Evolution is inevitable, seasons change, and so must I.

Inspiration, motivational, Motivational Moments, reflection, Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness, Testimony, Win, Wisdom

P.R.E.S.S. Into 2019

Another year is quickly fading away. In less than 48 hours, for those blessed to experience the transition, we will be embracing the New with the power and diligence to forsake the old.

For me personally, 2018 has been excessively bittersweet. A great deal of pain, disappointments and unexpected events occurred this year. Yet all accompanied by great opportunities for spiritual growth. I watched God be a healer, provider and reconciler. I often take a moment to reflect on what was in order to prepare for what shall be.

As I share my heart on this final post for the year, I hear in my spirit to make this phrase a purpose filled priority.

P.R.E.S.S.

As a foundational acronym:

Praise & Pray:

Inspite of the experience in hurt, uncertainty, grief, need, lack of direction, illness, rejection and delays.

Rest:

In the arms of your Heavenly Father spiritually and mentally. Allow Him to touch those tender areas that no man can. Don’t forsake your body of the ease it requires to sustain this next chapter of your life. You’re going to need it!

Exercise & Eat Healthy:

Take care of your temple by committing to a consistent regime that promotes prolong life and stamina. This is not optional in order to bring what God has ordained to be reveal to and through you!

Settle:

In your mind that the past is the past! It happened but doesn’t define your future hope by any means necessary! Use these experiences as growth tools knowing that God is STILL for you!

Walk into 2019 with gratitude no matter what your reality looks like naturally. God’s blessed you with more time, another day and another season. It ain’t over yet and the best is still yet to come!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – The F.O.G.

There are times in our lives when we enter into periods of great natural uncertainty. These questionable times may have been forced on us or a result of taking great leaps of faith.

We can be tempted to view this season to walking in a thick hazy fog. We can’t see a thing when attempting to focus our gaze in any direction. We question what’s in the presence of this overwhelming mist. How did it suddenly infiltrated our lives and when will it begin to thin out and ultimately fade away? We want to regain control of our vision and feel a level of certainty of what lies ahead.

Personally, I find myself under these very circumstances today. I’m here due to responding to the voice of God to “Let Go” of what I’ve found the most security in. My Job, My Will, My Way…..

I’ve prayed about this move for months. Visualized and dreamt about the shift. I have also been simultaneously gripped with fear about how it will all work out. (RealBoldTruth) For more time than necessary I remained paralyzed in my faith. All the while God kept instructing me to take a step out of what I deem to be crystal clear into The F.O.G. Finally, I obeyed.

So here I stand. In a position that’s greatly unfamiliar and uncomfortable. However, it’s filled with amazing possibilities! I can’t afford to stumble around in the murkiness with unease concerning what lies within for the realm I have entered into is not smoldering obscurity but rather The Favor Of God!

F.OG. Is God navigating me towards my destiny now that I have completely given Him the reigns to do so in my life. I don’t want to steer anymore so I willingly forfeit my compass for His. In the F.OG. I am completely submerged with grace, protection, provision, miracles, status, regard and in line to receive all that I could have never obtained had I remained in my own “clear”.

Although I can’t see my way plainly, I have no fear, no worry and no regrets. A great peace sustains me is in this dimension as I prepare to be overtaken by The F.O.G.

As children of The Most High God, it is our birthright to get all that is ours while on this earth. Things big and things small. This entitlement requires faith coupled by sacrifice. Are you in position to be overtaken by The Favor of God? If not, enter in with hope and expectation that your Heavenly Father WILL show off in abundance just for YOU!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Who Told You That??

Coming To America is one of my all time favorite comedies. To this day I can watch it over and over again like I’ve never seen it before. This movie is 30 years old! Debuting June 29, 1988 featuring Eddie Murphy in the role that truly put him on the map as a comedian like no other. I’ve seen it countless times and can quote many lines verbatim (Unapologetically!) it’s simply hilarious!

My teenage son was flipping through channels recently looking for something to watch and landed on a showing of the movie. I had not seen it in years but of course stopped in my tracks at the sound of the all too familiar script.

There was one line that stuck out as I was watching for the gazillionth time. It had an affect on me that I never considered before!

“WHO TOLD YOU THAT??”

For those who know the movie, this line was uttered by King Jaffe Joffer when Mr. McDowell’s youngest daughter proclaimed that the “Prince” was in love with her and not her sister.

With shock at this untruth, the King belted out the question with such deep command, force, authority and rule!

My spirit was instantly quickened that this is the exact question my Heavenly Father asks of me when I meditate on lies from the enemy. He only does it with 100x the power of King Jaffee!

Who told you that you can’t do it?

Who told you you’re not going to make it?

Who told you that you’re a mistake?

Who told you you’re not good enough?

Who told you that you’re a failure?

Who told you you’ll always be sick?

Who told you that you’ll always be broke?

Who told you that you’re not worthy?

WHO TOLD YOU THAT thing that makes you feel inadequate????

Like Adam in the garden when he sinned, eating from the forbidden tree of life, when God came looking for him, Adam responded that he hid himself because he was naked.

God instantly responded “Who Told You that you were naked?”

No one but the enemy in the form of a cowardly snake!

When we hear words from others or those in our own minds that don’t line up with what God has to say about us, we must consider the question, WHO TOLD YOU THAT?”

If it wasn’t God, we must dismiss the allegations and accept truth in who we were called to be even when it doesn’t look like it.

You are a child of God

A Royal Priesthood

Hand picked and Chosen

Have an inheritance from your Father

Have many gifts

Are valuable and Precious

And so much more!

Believe it and conduct yourself as the Prince and Queen that you really are! Now, WHO told you that! Carry on!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Accomplishments, Inspiration

The Error on Page 100

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but there’s an error in my book book Angels – The Discovery! I absolutely cringed when it was reveal to me! A body of work that I’ve put an incredible amount of time into is still flawed. I felt like a failure!

I quickly reminisced on the countless days and lengthy nights spent combing through the more than 58,000 word manuscript. I read it over and over again! How could I have missed this? So did my publisher, yet the error was continually overlooked. I initially thought I wasted weeks, months and even years working so tirelessly at this thing. Not to mention the financial investment sacrificed to bring this project to life. I so wanted my debut to the world as a published author to be spot and error free! But like many others before me, that didn’t happen.

That mental beating I put myself through lasted about 24 hours. I had to get over it! The book is here now and still needs to be introduced to the world! God certainly didn’t get me to this point for this is HIS project. I am sure He knew it would be slightly flawed.

But oh how much He can do with flaws! As I launched the book, most readers never detected the error or simply never mentioned it. They were so completely engrossed by the story line and overall content that the minor blemish didn’t take away from the ultimate message. Review after positive review were beginning to pour in further diminishing my over perfectionist thinking. It is good and is finished!

Often times we see the flaws in our lives, character, output and conduct and we magnify them far greater than they need to be. The emphasis should never be made on a slight imperfection but rather the overwhelming beauty of the overall person or matter.

Beneath what we feel is a mistake lies nothing more than intent to show the world what God is capable of achieving. He can do so much with human defects, weaknesses, shortcomings and beyond in order to get Glory that is rightfully His.

I can’t take any credit for the success of this book. Not because of the error on page 100 but the process endured to complete the same. It was all Him from beginning to end. I have faith that this story will impact countless lives, flaws and all!

What faults in your life do you amplify while discounting all that’s truly good and perfect? Stop doing that to yourself and praise your Savior for these imperfections. They serve as purposeful reminders that He can do so much even with these errors present. In fact, our flaws are often intentionally placed at the forefront, exposed for all to see. When success is achieved, we will remain humble and point upward to where our help comes from.

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Try Me! (Saith The Lord)

Some people muddle through life in great confusion. Most don’t even know it. Unfortunately, this produces inconsistencies, denial, ill choices, negative outcomes, mental instability and delayed blessings.

When we try living separate and apart from God convincing ourselves that we have control over our circumstances, we rob ourselves and those connected to us from a multitude of favor.

Since God does not affect our “Free Will” and allows us to choose our own way, He patiently awaits for us to go through enough in hopes that ultimately we will Surender to Him!

“Try Me!” Sayeth The Lord

When you can’t figure it out.

When you loose control over your lifestyle.

When you can’t find your way.

When you are down to your last.

When those who were once there suddenly are no longer.

When you are left all alone.

When sickness invades your body.

When poverty threatens your household.

When……(Well, you fill in the blank)

There is nothing in this world more consistent than what God can reveal, promise and deliver.

When you reach that point in your life where no answers can be provided, nothing makes sense and people fail you miserably, ask the Lord what you should do. Listen and His response will most likely be, “Are You Done? Now Try Me!”

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

mental health

May 2018 – Mental Health Awareness Month

As a overcomer of more than 30 years of depression, the topic of mental illness is especially close to my heart.

I have grown extremely passionate about sharing my story, struggles and strategies on how I’ve been set free from daily mental torment. Those years were very dark, oppressive and crippling times that I often thought I would never break free from.

Many also suffering in silence need to know they are not alone and should not be embarrassed to disclose the condition. Breaking free from the stigma is essential! There is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact acknowledgement is the first step towards healing.

Over 21 million adults in the US and more than 300 million around the world struggle with mental health disorders. Those number are a clear fact that each and every one of us knows a sufferer or may be one ourselves.

There truly is hope and a way to break free; for good! The process is not defined the same for us all. Some may need the support of therapeutic prescriptions. I have tried that as well but to no avail. For me, there was no management or healing in the form of a pill or structured secular counseling. Both seemed to help initially but not long term. More holistic, spiritual, and practical daily applications have been the key to my deliverance.

That process I unapologetically share with those who have tried traditional methods and have not experienced relief. That way is heavily accredited to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The rest was up to me in applying His word, His will, His way.

Over the past 3 years I have written and openly shared my conquest towards healing. During the Month of May 2018, I will be re-sharing those testimonies in visual format on The RealBoldTruth show as well as other inspirations as given to my spirit.

I do hope that you will consider, share, and follow as a way of considering something new or revisiting the powerful healing properties that lie in the Savior.

We will talk about:

Depression

Rejection

Mental torment

Suicide

It’s important to clearly Understand how faith & spiritual warfare play a major role in freedom.

I do hope you’ll join me and I look forward to your comments and feedback.

Blessings!

Inspiration

The Remnants of Rejection

They still linger wooing you back into the deepest pit of despair to have teetering intimacy that tortures and paralyzed your soul.

After revelation, acknowledgement, spirit searching and confessing deliverance, sometimes the emotion of rejection still lingers.

During times of great inconvenience

Feelings of inadequacy

Struggling to find common place in familiar spaces.

Emotional walls you use as shields to barricade your over sensitive mind and still fragile heart. All serve as an avoidance mechanism to prevent the excruciating pain of human dismissal.

You know that:

You matter!

You have something to say!

Great things to offer.

Were Put here for beneficial reasons.

Have a great deal to offer…

But yet the remnants of rejection haunts periodically from:

That boss who overlooks you constantly.

That spouse who once adored you is now taking your presence for granted.

That father who only donated to your existence but walked away from taking part in your development.

That mother who only carries the title but failed miserably to prepare you for life in action, deed and guidance.

That circle of people you’ve tried to fit in with but struggle to consistently feel a sense of acceptance.

That child that now discounts your sacrifices down to mere mediocre obligations.

That organization, network group or ministry that fails to recognize your value by not allowing fresh perspectives to advance the agenda.

It is all evident and really truly hurts.

You live on with deep suppression of it all. Some days not entertaining rejection works but other days it burst on the scene of your feelings like a tidal wave leaving you drowning in great emotional despair.

But God who has delivered often reminds you to stay focused and forge ahead not giving into to the temptations of the accusatory voice. For that is truly what rejection is. A self destructive tactic of the enemy to cease what must manifest in your life.

He (Satan), also knows your value and how powerful you would be if only you find the courage to shut him down completely and permanently!

The facts of how you came to be, who suffered a loss due to not accepting you as a blessing, or who felt it robbery to contribute to your maturity are all significant components directly tied to your life’s purpose.

Be not deceived that your current experience defines your end result. God, in Christ Jesus is more than willing to heal your heart from rejection and beyond. Trust the process by looking to Him and Him alone. Through the Savior, we are never thrown away, never discounted and never left alone.

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – The Underdog

I have resided in the small state of Delaware for the past 12 years however, I migrated to this tiny wonder from the City of Brotherly Love. A Philly girl I am through and through! Born, raised and still retain traits that the town still pulses through my veins!

Although not a true fan of football, this past week I certainly spilled over with hometown delight for the EAGLES as they soared to victory and finally won the super bowl! The feeling was undeniable as I cheered, shouted and nearly came close to tears amongst the company of family, friends and other loved ones. It was just over the top amazing! I felt extremely blessed to have lived to see such a history making moment with this team that people have consistently labeled “The UnderDog”!

“They”re not going to win”, many predicted.

“They’ve gotten to this point before and blew it”, others taunted…

“See, they let them come back in the 4th quarter. They’re going to lose again” were the overwhelming premature words of this team’s doubters.

But in the end, the EAGLES pulled together as a cohesive unit, strategized with precision, put their faith in God and ultimately prevailed!

During this journey on my way to becoming a successful author, I can relate to the sentiments and stigma of being an underdog.

All the odds appear against me. No one before me has accomplished anything so big. The competition is massive making me appear like a tadpole swimming in an ocean full of privileged sharks. Yet I have to remain in the fight, give my dreams a chance and believe in the gifts that have only come from my savior.

This means pushing through the negative murmuring in my head. Ignoring the many critical stares. Discounting the lack of supportive and authentic acknowledgements from those I thought would naturally be there.

The course can sometimes be excruciating, but just like the EAGLES, I prevail daily as I refocus my eye on the Lord. I know I’m in the 4th quarter of my journey and I too will bring home the prize.

Do you feel like an underdog today?

Know that the emotion comes with the territory for those called to do extraordinary things!

You can’t turn back or give up now for close you certainly are.

No matter how things appear, we have the greater one on our side and that’s all we’ll ever need! He doesn’t lie and can never fail! We will succeed!

So join me and pull your emotions together by gearing up! Huddle with your true supporters to reignite your enthusiasm! Get in formation at the line of scrimmage looking your opponents dead in the eye! Hike your ball and execute the play as planned! Shoot for your own personal touchdown and win this game! Your trophy, ring and parade certainly awaits. It’s time for the “Underdog” in you to triumph!

Until next Time,

Happy Sunday!

Inspiration

Changing in Christ

A little more than a month ago, a movie hit the big screen that attracted millions of people to the theatre. Prior to its official release it’s arrival was highly anticipated particularly by women. During the film’s first opening weekend it pulled impressive sales at the box office grossing nearly $30 Million Dollars!

The hype, reviews and acclaim were many as social media went wild on just how good the movie was. As I planned a “Girl’s Day” out with a really good friend of mine, naturally we felt it only made sense to see what all the hype was about! Sadly to say, we both walked away from the experience extremely bewildered.

I found the movie to be a bit repulsive, tacky and tasteless. Both my good friend and I were incredibly boggled by our reactions and why we were not just as giddy over the content as most.

Don’t get me wrong, I did laugh a time or two but it got far fetched at some points and I personally was turned off by at least half of the script. Personally, I certainly would not voluntarily watch it again.

Thereafter, several woman in my life asked if I had seen it. When I shared my view points of the film, I was looked upon as snooty, odd, crazy, and/or too deep.

After a slight confrontation over the matter with some other women just this past weekend, I further analyzed my viewpoints. Why did these women, (including some of the men that overheard the conversation) take offense simply over my personal opinion?

I clearly heard the spirit of The Lord whisper the only answer that makes complete sense, “The reason you did not like the movie is because of ME that’s working in YOU!”

Over the past 4 years my spiritual life and maturity has been a priority. I had to make it that way in order to fight to save my life. Along the journey and in this fight, I’m changing. I absolutely haven’t arrived but change is certainly obvious.

Things I use to do, I just don’t want to do anymore.

Places I use to go are no longer an option for me.

People I use to hang out with don’t fit in my circle any longer and we’ve drifted.

Things I use to hear that never bothered me before now grieve my spirit and I’m just not entertained by it anymore!

Evolving in Christ is inevitable when you are a Christian that refuses to compromise your position in Him for the sake of others.

You’ll begin to see things differently, go against the grain and become remote in your perspective. You may also become viewed as hypothetical especially if your changing is fresh in the eyes of those who knew you when….

When we desire to fit in more with people than we want to stand out in Christ, that’s called COMPROMISE! This blocks blessings, growth and potential. I don’t want this to be an option for me. I want ALL God has and deliberately work on fixing those areas in my life that I truly can control including what gets in my spirit through what I watch and what I hear.

We should always be working on our conduct in Christ being distinct. How else will those who don’t know Him get to know Him? We must represent and not become relaxed by having a greater regard for the world than our Savior.

If we as Believers find comfort without conviction with things that the world accepts, finds entertaining and approves of, we may have begun to plateau in our walk. Be separate from them is what God has called us to do!

Again, I am very much still a work in progress in the things of God. I try not to judge the actions of others while staying open to correction when I am out of line in my Christian journey. But I am grateful and recognize the changes that are coming over me that draws me deeper in Him still. This is my stance unapologetically.

In your walk with Christ what’s one big change you’ve noticed that you know you’re not going back to?

Have you endured ridicule over your strides to be more like Your Savior?

How do you handle the conflict with the world and other believers?