Tag: past

Soulful Sunday: What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

As weeks create months and months turn into years, decades are formed and reality becomes evident. We are aging and are often faced with “THE” question directly or indirectly; Are we making the most out of the life we have left?

This thought feels irrelevant in our adolescent years when we feel invincible for it appears that there is plenty of time to think on these things later; much later…

Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror and 40, 50, 60,70 and beyond are upon us. Our stark reality is where did the time go and are we living a purposed filled life? You know, the one that God has called us to before we were ever in existence.

If you can say without hesitation that you spend your days doing the thing God put you on this earth for, I certainly commend you! However, if that’s NOT you and you are in those age categories I mentioned above, What’s Holding You Back?

The level of true purpose I am alluding to has nothing to do with that job you slave at every day to earn a living. You can confirm that this statement is true if you feel that something is missing and deep inside, you’re unfulfilled. I’m talking about your primary reason for being. You gift, your talent, that business idea, that ministry, that book, that masterpiece that only YOU can deliver and birth to the world. 

It’s that thing you have been seeing repetitively in visions or dreams. That idea that gives you chills when you ponder on it but quickly dismiss with a plethora of old and tired excuses..

That hurt

That shame

That lack of confidence 

That comparison to others

That envy of your Brother

That previous failure

That finger pointing and blaming

That lack of Faith in your Lord and Savior 

For many reading this, What’s REALLY holding you back from embracing your destiny is directly connected to a matter you have not officially dealt with in your past. If you don’t face it, you will end up like countless others; leaving this earth and taking what should have been shared with the world with you. Now that’s really selfish! RealBoldTruth!

I recently had to deal with an extremely painful area of my life that I have been suppressing for several decades. I really thought I had it under control especially as of lates. I’ve discovered who I am in Christ, learned how to look to Him and trust Him more, have been in constant fellowship to assure I don’t go back to old ways of thinking and I’ve been serving and giving faithfully in ministry. Yet this soul striping thing keeps coming up and I grew sick of it! I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still struggling with something that should be so old but knew it was the source of what has been holding me back from all God truly has for me.

I was recently put in a setting and was given the option to become vulnerable and transparent about this thing and my flesh felt reservations. However my spirit prevailed by telling me it’s now or never!

I ultimately shared a very private battle with the most unlikely person and found out she had struggled with the very same thing! I was in complete shock for she seemed to have it all together. She gave me a name for “my thing” and it’s called “Rejection ” she shared with me some tools and specific word that I started using right away and a release I experienced almost instantly!

Initially I was so very uncomfortable being this exposed but it has been way past time to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil!” I want my freedom more than my security of holding on to this dead stinky thing that clearly robs me of so many possibilities!

I challenge you today to think on these things. What have you NOT faced, NOT confessed, NOT healed from, buried alive kicking and screaming that will NOT die? It’s the very thing that is stopping you from spending more energy cultivating you “Gift” than dwelling on what won’t change. 

God has so much more for you but you’ll never experience the totality of His blessings if you don’t give this thing up! Stop lying, to yourself, and listening to the voice of the enemy more than the voice of the Lord! 

Do it NOW, before YOU and IT simply become a memory.

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Sins of a Female Saint – Part II

This post concludes my testimony of my darkest secret; my deepest pain. Click here for Part I 
http://therealliferealtalk.com/2016/10/19/sins-of-a-female-saint-part-1
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I didn’t think I deserved it. After what I did the first time around certainly I will never be worthy again. 

As a believer, I failed miserably! Not keeping promises I made to myself, my 1st spouse and most of all to God. I’ll live the rest of my days and find a way to accept the errors of my ways, conceal my deepest secret and try to get back to being a good Christian; someway and somehow….

But as days turned into weeks, months into years, I battled with chronic depression and insurmountable soul crushing guilt. Like Adam and Eve in the garden after their disobedience, so did I try to hide from God.

Yes I came back to Him and repented for how I contributed to the breakdown in my 1st marriage, but there was so much more spiritually to deal with and I didn’t know how to start. So instead, I suppressed and buried that stinkin thing alive still screaming to breath and heal under mounds of emotional debris. That’s where it shall remain and no one will ever know how much I hurt. It will have to die eventually….

But 8 years later, it’s still screaming. In fact, sounds louder than ever before. Im now scrambling for more creative ways to stifle the noise. But the difficulty is even more complex. I initiated the divorce for matters were truly irreconcilable. Thereafter, my love, affection and adoration for the one I fell for has gotten deeper and now I carry his child. After 22 years of being barren, I conceived with the man I committed adultery with.

I know him more intimately than I ever knew my ex-husband. The good, the bad and the very ugly! We didn’t come into each other’s lives unscathed of life’s scars. We both were extremely broken as individuals; struggling both mentally and spiritually. Yet we clung to one another in the best friendship I have ever experienced. Our souls over the years are bonded and completely tied together. 

After a year of staying away from my love, he returned and asked for my hand. How dare I try this again and try to make it holy especially considering the way we started….

The attraction is just as magnetic as day one nearly 9 years prior. The adoration so much deeper and a beautiful child born between us. How could this natural messy situation ever be made right?

This feels hypocritical beyond description! Would God bless us, can I really be happy, and what consequences will we face individually and collectively? 

Despite all these natural questions, we stepped out on faith after 10 months of Godly counsel and married. 

Two years later, it has not been without challenges. On top of the normal circumstances that most married couples face, without spoken words we still look at each other and silently wonder, “Will you do the same to me?”

Despite our flaws, we hold on to our family, our faith and our God who healed what we thought was unhealable.

We are both being set free and elevating in ministry. Turning what the enemy intended for evil into good. I’ve grown so much spiritually. More concrete in faith, knowledge and the power of God than I ever was a decade ago. The test and trial was excessively painful and I lost a lot. But he restoreth my soul and Great is thy faithfulness!!

Finally I can breath! Without guilt, condemnation and shame. My fervent prayer is that someone facing similar circumstances be encouraged by my journey and make some healthy decisions. My Realboldtruth is indeed my testimony!

Soulful Sunday – REVEAL, DEAL, HEAL

This message is not unique by far. It’s been told, preached and written about a million times over. Yet I feel compelled to reiterate today because many of us need to be reminded. The enemy likes snatching the Word from our spirits the instant it is uttered to keep us entrapped in bondage.

The only way to heal from a thing is to reveal it then deal with it! There is no other way! All else is simply avoidance and the rehearsed act of suppression. We may be able to keep symptoms of that pain at bay for a time; but it’s toxicity will spill out into the blood streams of our spirits in very nasty and unexpected ways. This leak ruins relationships, makes us ugly, robs us of blessings and stuns our growth.

REVEAL means to face that thing that you don’t want to talk about. When you do, the memories of it all haunts your soul and brings about tears, fears and more. But once it’s exposed in a healthy way through fellowship and wise counsel it’s power over your life will begin to decrease immediately!

DEAL means that you finally get the courage to fight for your future and your life by declaring and decreeing that there is something greater in you and for you! Therefore you take a stand that this thing will die and die today!

HEAL means that you begin to shed off those layers of hurt, pain, shame and blame and begin to LIVE!! That thing, however it’s defined for you, is a coward and a thief! If you want it to be over, a simple decision needs to be made by only you! Taking back your authority is what you must do to move forward!

REVEAL, DEAL and HEAL is the formula necessary to embrace your destiny and to stop looking back on matters, people and circumstances that you can’t change. They are only mere facts in your life but don’t need to define you indefinitely! Leave them in your past and put your foot down. Get into your rightful position in Christ Jesus and get all that He has for you in THIS life time! Do it while you still have time, still have breath, still have people who look up to you, still have His Grace and Mercy….Answer me this; Aren’t you worth it?

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – Pastor Dorothy L. Bell


Have you ever asked yourself what could possibly be holding you back from reaching your fullest potential in life? Seems like no matter your countless efforts, favor consistently evades you?

Consider taking your eye off of external factors for a moment and do a self-inventory; NOW!
My Women of Wisdom author this month is Pastor Dorothy L Bell. She penned a concise and impactful book entitled “Arise…Unpack….Live “Now”!

This read comes at such an appropriate time in my life personally. As I effortlessly strive towards the destiny that my God has shown me, the principles laid out in this book cannot be avoided along my journey.

As a representative of Christ I must rid myself as much as possible of things that are not of him. So here we go!

The instructions commissioned in these pages are bold, just the way I like it! Not for the thin-skinned by far! You want to be successful in your God-given talents and gifts, then consider this as I have!

Arise – Recognize, take heed, and commence to owning up to your stuff! You guilt your shame your past, your blames. Your greed and especially your selfish needs. 

Unpack – Those matters that really hold you back and stop carrying them around like some precious treasure! They are not resourceful and certainly not God’s best for your life! You can’t move forward effectively until you throw these things out of the luggage of your soul!

Live – The first two can be the most difficult parts but once they are REALLY dealt with through the Word of God, Counseling and regular inventory to assure you are won’t Re-pack what you unloaded, NOW it’s time to go forth!!

I can’t give away all the detailed nuggets of this book. The above is just a synopsis of what I got out of it. Just good Godly wise wisdom! You have to get your own copy to fully understand. It can be read in less than a couple of days and will be life changing!

Pastor Dorothy L. Bell
 Pastor Dorothy L. Bell is the CEO and founder of Woman2WomanMinistries and has been serving the Lord diligently for the past 32 years. To order your copy of Arise…Unpack…Live… “Now” contact her directly by e-mail at womantwowoman@comcast.net or on her FaceBook page @Woman2Woman. Don’t forget to visit her website for more inspiration at http://www.womantwowoman.com.

Happy Sunday!