Tag: family

Soulful Sunday – Try Me! (Saith The Lord)

Some people muddle through life in great confusion. Most don’t even know it. Unfortunately, this produces inconsistencies, denial, ill choices, negative outcomes, mental instability and delayed blessings.

When we try living separate and apart from God convincing ourselves that we have control over our circumstances, we rob ourselves and those connected to us from a multitude of favor.

Since God does not affect our “Free Will” and allows us to choose our own way, He patiently awaits for us to go through enough in hopes that ultimately we will Surender to Him!

“Try Me!” Sayeth The Lord

When you can’t figure it out.

When you loose control over your lifestyle.

When you can’t find your way.

When you are down to your last.

When those who were once there suddenly are no longer.

When you are left all alone.

When sickness invades your body.

When poverty threatens your household.

When……(Well, you fill in the blank)

There is nothing in this world more consistent than what God can reveal, promise and deliver.

When you reach that point in your life where no answers can be provided, nothing makes sense and people fail you miserably, ask the Lord what you should do. Listen and His response will most likely be, “Are You Done? Now Try Me!”

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – The Curse Breaker

There is always one called to break repetitive, vicious and toxic cycles. This one must endure challenges, scrutiny and pressures that those before them were unable to perceive as possible; unable to recognize; unable to face; unable to sustain…

Generational curses threaten an entire line of people mainly connected by blood. Those already amongst us and those yet to come. They are negative behavior patterns and experiences that recreate themselves living over and over, and over again…..

Those in the line of fire to inherit what often times seems inevitable, face life crippling struggles that are self and generationally destructive. By way of observation, learned behaviors and knowing no other way, generational curse batons are passed down unintentionally and sometimes on purpose.

The most obvious and catastrophic can include:

Alcoholism

Drug addiction

Physical abuse

Sexual obsessions

Womanizing

Mental Instability

Poverty

Incest

Obesity

Hereditary medical conditions

This list is not all inclusive but provides a general picture of generational curses suffered by hundreds of thousands of people everywhere; everyday.

The enemy wants you to think that you can never break free or avoid these patterns all together. He is a liar and that’s what he does. Just because one or more of your family members have lives wrecked by these issues, does not mean your outcome is destined to be the same. Once you recognize the adverse patterns that now want to live on through your children, you must be strong enough to break the cycle for good!

The quest will be challenging for the enemy will not let you go without a serious fight. He wants to continue living on through the curse. This will be the fight of your life!

Your power and strength to overcome lie in The Savior. Just as the generational curse is blood born so is your breakthrough into generational blessings. Christ died and shed His precious blood to break the captive ties that bind.

Today marks the first day of The week considered “Holy”. The very essence of what Christ did for us over 2000 years ago is reflected upon and remembered. He paid the ultimate price for all matters we face including generational curses. He took even that to the cross with Him.

If you feel ensnared by a curse attached to your family and desperately want to be free, know that you can trade you natural blood line in for the shed blood of Christ. He is the sure way to change the course of your future and beyond forever!

Until Next Time

Happy Palm Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Tempted By Sight!

These last days that we live in have proven to be filled with difficult challenges, great disparity and corrupt with incredible immoralities. It is more critical now than ever for the believing heart to remain tied to The Savior.

He is the ONLY thing that remains consistent, unchanged, refreshing and true. Hope, peace, restoration, healing, abundance and so much more are a guarantee in Our Heavenly Father.

But because we live in flesh and face a spiritual enemy that lives to destroy our connection with God, we are sometimes tempted by the things we see.

I consider myself a strong woman of great faith. Yet, a few weeks ago I was challenged in an area that I allowed to affect me and I became tempted by my sight.

My 6 year old son suffered some symptoms that appeared asthmatic in nature. Neither I nor my husband recognized what he was going through initially. It started with a cough, runny nose and sneezing. Surly this was just a common cold for the whether swiftly changed from warm sunny days to brisk chilly mornings filled with dew in the air. The change was sudden and a bit of a shock for everyone.

Several days went by and my son’s symptoms remained. His cough continued and he told me “Mommy, I can’t do the big breath.” Yet I still didn’t get it and kept providing him treatment for a cold.

After a week, he developed a fever and seemed to be using his entire diaphragm to take simple breaths. His heart was racing uncontrollably and clearly he appeared distressed. That’s when I knew something was terribly wrong. As my husband and I took him to the emergency room, we remained for 5 hours and they could not get his symptoms under control. They admitted him to ICU and there he remained for nearly 2 days.

The enemy messing with my baby was overwhelming! To see him on a breathing machine with IVs in his little arm and not being able to feed or hold him affected me in a way nothing ever could. We watched numbers on him monitors rise and fall. Over 24 hours of unstable readings and no clarity on his condition I allowed my emotions to be toyed with.

My son shedding a river of tears due to being weary, hungry and scared were down right torturous to my very soul. I lingered by feeling absolutely helpless and would take his place if only I could.

There were periods throughout this 72 hour ordeal when my eyes indeed fell off my Savior. I was tempted by what my son was enduring and what I was seeing.

Our Heavenly Father commands us to keep our eyes on Him in every situation that we face. Any other action temps us to be ensnared by the enemy’s tactics. We will certainly begin to worry, doubt, become offended, say the wrong things and react with fear. These emotions are contrary to The Word of God.

The longer we keep our eyes on our circumstances, the longer it takes to be delivered from them all. No one purposely wants to prolong pain so the quicker we adjust our perspectives spiritually, we allow our Savior to go to work on our behalf.

I eventually recognized that the attack on my son was to get me questioning God’s power in my life. I shut him down by putting out a call to some warriors that I knew would stand in the gap with consistent prayer.

Within hours my son began to recover. He was discharged and returned to his normal self within days.

Are you facing a situation today that you keep looking at with your natural eye? If so quickly adjust your understanding and trust God! He is not taking too long neither is He ignoring your cry. This mentality is yet another trick of the enemy to keep you in emotional bondage with what you face.

Fight him by aligning back in faith quickly! You may not be able to do this alone so do what you must to regain your peace, your trust, your prosperity, your sanity and your future. This thing WILL turn around for your good when you no longer allow the enemy to tempt you by sight!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – No Other Way!

I gave my life to Christ at the tender age of 14. At that stage I had experienced some minor challenges in life that felt rather monumental back then. Peer pressures, 1st heart break, fleeting friendships and academic problems. At that time, those issues seemed rather detrimental but then life REALLY began to hit!

As a teenager transitioning into a young adult, I wavered away from my faith quiet a bit. I began to stumble through life; desperately trying to discover who I am, what’s my purpose and where do I truly belong. During times of great frustration in many failed attempts at trying to figure it all out, I would deviate spiritually. Doing my own thing seemed more simple, less pressure, and indeed much easier. That never lasted long! Ultimately, I would return asking myself why do things that are not so pleasing to my Savior feel so darn good? At least initially they did; until I found myself in deep rooted trouble, despair, guilt and shame!

Today as a woman in my 40’s, I no longer suffer with roller coaster of emotions wondering where I belong. I’ve made up in my mind that I am a child of The Most High God and in Him I shall remain.

I’ll spend the rest of my days crucifying my flesh in order to magnify His Name. I’ll forsake the opinion of others and consider only what my Savior says of me. Most other opinions that did not line up with the Word of God have consistently failed me anyway. To this day, God has never!

I’ll speak of His goodness, praise His name and share my testimonies in RealBoldTruth unapologetically! He has been too good to me to live any other way! I’ll allow Him to develop my gifts then use them to win more to the body of Christ, for this is what’s required of me.

I’ve spent enough time on both sides of faith to effectively analyze which life is more beneficial for me. I’m fully persuaded these days to live no other way but in my Heavenly Father.

All else is darkness, confusion, trouble, pain, compromise, wayward thinking, Luke warm, non prosperous, curse inducing and Destiny forsaken.

I’ve lived enough years in all of the above and now consistently want all that God has for me. There truly is no other way!

That may mean I’ll spend the rest of my days fighting my sinful flesh and commanding it to line up with God’s will! It may be difficult but I no longer desire the easy way out! That’s cowardly and will lead to nothing else but what I’ve truly been delivered from. RealBoldTruth!

There’s no turning back for freedom I’ve experienced in Christ in my mind, in my body, in my spirit. That freedom is now evident in my family, in my ministry and everything that God allows me to touch! I can’t turn back now! There’s so much more and I’m finally excited about my life!

When you sit back and consider where you came from and where you are today, are you too convinced that you can’t live no other way but for God?

What stark differences do you see?

What’s your experience and how have those around you changed toward and around you as a result?

The benefits of living my life as a Believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ has not and will not fail me. It’s the only constant that I’ve ever known. For that reason alone, there’s no other way!

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

Somebody, HELP ME!!!!!!

Being an accountable woman of excellence is extremely difficult at times. The daily demands expected of those she is responsible for can sometimes take an adverse toll mentally, physically and spiritually. This is even more true as she begins to age.

I ended 2016 weary and drained in every way. I’m a full time employee, mother, wife, aspiring author and a servant in multiple ministries. Like many women, my schedule is completely full and I rarely take time to slow down to pay attention to my own needs. 

One evening after a frustrating day of work, I came home with a million things to do. My son needed homework completed, dinner needed to be prepared and so much more. I stopped to pick up groceries and when I walked in the kitchen it was filthy from dinner the night before. My husband was where I typically find him, lounging by the television with his feet up and remote control nearby. My son was now hounding me for a snack and I hadn’t even taken my coat off or set the groceries down!

As you can imagine, my internal instincts were near explosive for I had not been getting enough sleep. My son suffers from chronic eczema and often wakes in the middle of the night. Sometimes up to 2-3 times. My husband has also developed a snore over the past two years that I find extremely hard to sleep through. 

As I gave into my son’s demands for a treat, I began to clean the kitchen. Slamming dishes in the washer and aggressively wiping down counter surfaces. All the while having many thoughts of regret in all the titles that I have. I was feeling like a slave and it seemed that my family was completely blind that I was struggling with my stamina. Not to mention, I already battle daily to fight away the fatigue symptoms that naturally come along with Multiple Sclerosis. I hated everyone for not being concerned about my well being. I had no idea how much longer I could go on doing nearly 15 hours of work off of 4-5 hours of broken sleep every night for months! I felt like I was dying!

As my husband walked into the kitchen making light conversation, he felt the tension I was giving off. When he asked what was wrong, I flew off the handle! Yelling, screaming and ending my rant with these words, “HELP ME!!!!”

He was of course offended with my approach and brushed my tirade off as if it meant nothing and I was just being a typical nagging woman. My short fuse disturbed our son and I just wanted so badly to pack up and run away!

As I dragged my weary body out of bed the next morning, while my family was still sleeping, I went downstairs to pray. I don’t remember weeping that hard in a long time. I cried out to the Lord about all the demands on my life, my lack of strength, not having a solid or dependable support system, and my concerns for my declining health. God, Please HELP ME!! Just like with my husband, these words were the closing ask in my ranted prayer.

Not long thereafter, the spirit of wisdom took the place of my many ill feelings. God began to show me practical areas that I needed to make a priority in order to stay well. First was my diet. I felt run down due to not giving my temple the necessary nutrients that it requires. I changed that quick with juicing! Within a few weeks, my energy has been through the roof! 

I sought wholistic treatments for my son’s condition. I stumbled across the National Eczema Association that had a list of approved products that I had not tried and his doctors had not recommended. Within weeks of using a natural combination, his skin is near 100% healed! He’s been sleeping through the night for the first time in nearly a year!

My husband suggested that we exercise together. We’re taking a weekly spin class and it’s both challenging and really fun! The necessary movement is burning calories, reducing inflammation and relieving a great deal of stress. The time has also ministered to our marriage as we commit to putting nothing before this bonding time together.

He’s sharing a little bit more in household duties and we started off the New Year with a 31 day prayer, one for the other. God has shown Himself faithful in it all! (Still praying for the snoring deliverance though!)

When you feel like you are at a breaking point, stop to recognize the attack is coming from the adversary and ask your Heavenly Father for help. He is the only one who can provide the relief that we need in order to set our crooked, beaten and worn paths completely straight.

Hey Boss, I Quit!!

Less than a year ago I was offered what I thought was an opportunity of a life time! A job earning more money than I had ever imagined, the distance was 10 minutes away from my home, and I could even telecommute periodically. It was a promotional opportunity and when I applied I did not think I completely qualified. I took a step out on what I thought was faith. Six interviews with 13 people later I, yes I, was selected as the final candidate!

 

I couldn’t believe it and praised God for the increase! I was really nervous about starting and hoped that I had the ability as a professional to excel in my new role. I had experienced much success in countless others, this one just seemed to make sense as the next career stepping stone on my way to the top.

 

Approximately 7 months later I found myself resigning from the job I thought was going to put my career on the map and I was absolutely devastated! I endured a tremendous set of unusual trials beginning a little more than a month into the position.  Ultimately, I crumbled under the pressure. My health, both physical and mental were being grossly affected. I was disappointed beyond description in myself and thought the enemy had won! Certainly I had failed and now it was over before it truly got started….

 

 

After consulting God about the ordeal, He revealed why I was subjected to such overwhelming insults in my workplace. I learned that I have been incredibly stubborn in my pursuit for success, have been operating in my own self-defined purpose without His consent, and have been grossly neglecting the gifts He has placed in my life. What a tremendous eye opener, harsh reality and a lesson long over due that I had to learn!

 
You see, for years I have been chasing dollars and trading my life in to the highest bidder. This has been because I truly lacked faith in God that He is capable of supplying all my needs which far exceeds monetary provision in a paycheck. Since I have never experienced increase any other way besides earnings from a job, I literally convinced myself that the only way to experience the God of “More Than Enough” (2nd Corinthians 9:8)  was by heavy pursuit of the next big promotion in title, statute and theory. I couldn’t see it any other way but Faith doesn’t operate by what Chanel could SEE! REAL self TALK!

It was clear very early on in my new position that this was not God’s will for my life. But I ignored the signs which were many!!! Initially I chalked up the controversy I was facing as the enemy trying to steal my blessing. I began to pray for my co-workers, leadership and external partners thinking that was the key to turning the fast sinking ship around. My so called spiritual logic was so far from the truth and was my WILL and not the WILL of my Heavenly Father.

 

 

I began seeing my husband, children and friends as thorns in my life because they wanted me after work and I simply could not produce the best me for them because I was stressed and exhausted! That’s when my health became seriously affected.

 

 (Mommy/Daddy, Stop working and come play with me!)

 

After extended time away from my hostile work environment, God showed me that the thorns in my life were really the job! The roses were those significant relationships I was half giving myself too. Repentance was necessary! No job or amount of money is worth their sacrifice nor mine! Never Again!

 

I finally accepted that it wasn’t me, due to the high turn over not only in the role I was in but in the office overall. (They couldn’t keep staff and leadership failed to look in the mirror!) Acceptance did not come easy but it did at a cost!

 

 

Are you holding on to a job that is robbing you from God’s best?  Are you struggling in your level of faith to believe that if you let go of this thing that you think you need that you will suffer lack?

 

This is not for everyone and I am certainly not suggesting or promoting a campaign for people to walk out on their jobs!  All things in due season and with wisdom.  This is the first time I ever walked away from a job without a concrete back up plan.  But I knew without question that I was hearing from the Lord!

 

If your stress level is through the roof resulting in change in temperament, sleep, eating habits and you are struggling to be present for the true important matters in your life, I encourage you to seek God and analyze if you are trying to remain in control because you don’t trust that HE will deliver. (Proverbs 3:5)

 

For me, I have suffered zero lack and have actually experienced abundance beyond my imagination since I let go and truly started trusting God with my provision. My confirmation that this entire things was and is HIM! My faith today is through the roof that as long as I keep my confidence in words, deed and action that my Heavenly Father is taking care of me, I shall never want for nothing! (Philippians 4:19) 

  
#quityourjob  #ihatemyjob  #lovelife  #Godourprovider #Jesus #mypurpose

The Somebody I am

The great I am

My last blog post spoke on the topic of “Letting Go” of painful relationships endured with relatives.  The example I gave concerned my estranged relationship with my biological father.  Ironically as I was penning the words and undenounced to me, he was dying a horrible and painful death by the destruction of cancer. It metastasized from his stomach, to his liver, to his lungs and ultimately to his brain. I was informed that the morphine stopped working and he experienced agonizing and unfathomable discomfort until his very last breath. He passed away this week. We had not spoken in nearly 4 years…….

I grieve today but not in the way that most would when losing a parent.  Unfortunately I did not know the man.  Alcohol and a chronic gambling addiction that I have seen as a part of his existence for more than 30 years were the primary culprits. We were never able to gain consistent momentum as a healthy father and daughter duo. We had our moments in between his attempts to quit the alcohol at least, but they never lasted long.  I don’t publicize this information in an effort to demoralize his character by far; they are just facts in the way he chose to live his life.

Furthermore as a believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I don’t have confidence that my soul will meet his again for I also understand that with great reluctance, he refused with his heart accepting the Lord as his Savior; even on his death bed. For this alone my core is extremely heavy.  For I have not only been robbed of being “Daddy’s Little Girl” in the natural because of his struggles, but spiritually I am also robbed of a possible divine reconciliation. I often wonder what lied behind his obvious deep rooted struggles that would make him be so steadfast against assuring that his soul rested in heaven.

When I consider the traits and generational curses on both sides of my family, they are great in number.  Alcoholism, gambling addictions, drug dependencies, mental illness, poverty, physical, sexual, and criminal offenses are just to name a few.  It is more than enough to question how anything good could come out of such transgressions. For through the years I have even found myself tempted, participating and suffering from a few of the above mentioned…. This is REAL TALK.

What I have found that is even greater is the fight to not allow these curses to overtake my life and continue to affect the generation that God has blessed me to start.  I am now a parent and my greatest apprehension is for any of these issues becoming a part of my Son’s future.  I purpose to give him the childhood and start that I was denied and keep him forever lifted up and covered in prayer.

But back to me, Who am I? This is a question that I have constantly asked myself over the years.  My truth is I am nobody, I am nothing, I am neglected, cast down, rejected, forsaken, unwanted, overlooked and misunderstood……All in the Natural. If any of these descriptions were matters my biological father accepted as his misguided reality without consulting the spirit, it’s no wonder his life ended the way that it did.  I have found that I cannot answer the question of “who I am” nor survive the cards that life has dealt me in the natural.  With gratefulness beyond description I have discovered In the SuperNatural that I am all of the opposite.  I am Loved, accepted, cherished, precious, protected, wanted, regarded, considered and completely comprehended. Had it not been for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ coupled by my belief in what he did is true, my end could certainly look like that of my earthly father.   The curse stops here!

I do thank my biological father for his contribution towards my existence. He is gone now and I remain content that I did all that I could to better our relationship.  I don’t have any regrets just some sorrow that he was never able to see that life could have been lived a completely different way with extraordinary results.

Never-the-less, my Spiritual truth is because of the sacrifices of The Great “I AM”, I survive and overcome the malice of my genetic makeup. I know though HIM and only through HIM that Somebody, I am………….

When its time to Let Go

Letting-Go-Quotes-28

Have you ever remained in a toxic relationship because you felt you had to? You knew it was unhealthy.  All the signs were there.  In fact, nearly every time you were in the presence of  a certain person confirmation constantly warned you.  You knew it was unhealthy and more than likely would never improve.  However, the expectations of others coupled by your own guilt and people pleasing ways, you continue to endure.  The hurt, backstabbing, selfishness, conditional love, inconsistencies and lack of give and take; you accept it all, every time. Its all you have ever done and all you have ever known.   You are the only one in the relationship truly trying and all for the sake of what’s expected.  It’s a very heavy facade to bear long term.  Exposed you appear strong, handling it well, smile and laugh on cue because others are certainly watching and judging.  But behind closed doors you cry, ache, pray and long for change.  For waiting for change is easier than considering the inevitable…Letting go.

I think we all experience situations like this at some point in our lives.  Seasonal people come and go whether we release them or they walk away on their own.  Accepting the process is easier with some people than others.  Sometimes we recognize right away the unnecessary chaos a person is causing in our lives.  The “Good Byes and Good Riddance” comes effortlessly.  But what if this painful situation involves a loved one.  A person you are connected to by D.N.A. 1st line blood born relation.  What do you do then?

I have had to withstand this unfortunately a few times in my life. Not because I wanted to but because I had to.  One situation involved my biological father.  A man who walked out of my life as a toddler and remained excessively inconsistent for years.  Out of my desperation of wanting to be “Daddy’s Little Girl” I chased after him in an effort to win his approval, affection and adoration.  This failed pursuit lasted for nearly two decades.  If I did not chase he would not bother.  His words said that he loved me but his actions more than proved otherwise.  Letting go was not easy by far.  I was going to make him love and treat me the way I thought I deserved as his daughter.  That was my will and far from his.  After much hurt, countless tears, severe rejection and lack of support I finally let go.  It wasn’t until my heart lined up with my spirit that peace in the decision took over me. Today, its been nearly 4 years and I continue to experience a calm with this matter that has been priceless.  It is well with my soul for I am certain that I have done all I can. This type of serenity I only wish I had awarded myself in half the time versus 20 years.  But feeling obligated by the urging of others (But That’s Your Father!) and the little wounded girl within me still longing for his approval, I suffered longer than I ever had to.  I pray and wish nothing but the best for my Father, for he has missed out on the ultimate prize; the evolution of ME:-)

Unhealthy relationships can tear down the human spirit and cause one to lose focus on God’s infinite purpose for their life. Along the way depression, self loathing and a crushed esteem can be the ultimate result of staying in unprofitable relationships long term.  We get so stuck on a person’s title in our lives that we feel that we can do nothing but actively deal with it.  Just because someone is your Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle or Cousin gives them no right to wreck havoc in your life.  If these people are not working with you to improve the relationship in a give and take fashion a decision needs to be made to let them go.

The only obligation you have is towards yourself.  If you don’t take care of you certainly no one else will.  That’s a stark and painful reality when you consider family members for it is not politically correct to sever a relationship with certain people.  Right? Well I’m no politician by far and dare to go against the grain!

If a person continues to cause you pain, let them go!  if they are not working towards improving themselves or acknowledge their wrong doing in the relationship, let them go!  If they have continuously shown that they are envious, spiteful, un-supportive, critical  and simply don’t have your best interest at heart, LET THEM GO!  This may be scary but depending on the person, this may not be permanent.  Once they see how far away they have pushed you, they may come back around.  But in your letting go, have no expectations for this will only lead to more of a broken heart.

If you are reading this, can relate and are considering a situation like this in your life, ask yourself “What am I truly holding on to?” As painful as it may be, loosen up your grips, close your eyes, open your hands and let go.  Without guilt, without regret, without fear, heal and be free…..

“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life” – Sandi Lynn