Category: Forgiveness

Sins of a Female Saint – Part II

This post concludes my testimony of my darkest secret; my deepest pain. Click here for Part I 
http://therealliferealtalk.com/2016/10/19/sins-of-a-female-saint-part-1
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I didn’t think I deserved it. After what I did the first time around certainly I will never be worthy again. 

As a believer, I failed miserably! Not keeping promises I made to myself, my 1st spouse and most of all to God. I’ll live the rest of my days and find a way to accept the errors of my ways, conceal my deepest secret and try to get back to being a good Christian; someway and somehow….

But as days turned into weeks, months into years, I battled with chronic depression and insurmountable soul crushing guilt. Like Adam and Eve in the garden after their disobedience, so did I try to hide from God.

Yes I came back to Him and repented for how I contributed to the breakdown in my 1st marriage, but there was so much more spiritually to deal with and I didn’t know how to start. So instead, I suppressed and buried that stinkin thing alive still screaming to breath and heal under mounds of emotional debris. That’s where it shall remain and no one will ever know how much I hurt. It will have to die eventually….

But 8 years later, it’s still screaming. In fact, sounds louder than ever before. Im now scrambling for more creative ways to stifle the noise. But the difficulty is even more complex. I initiated the divorce for matters were truly irreconcilable. Thereafter, my love, affection and adoration for the one I fell for has gotten deeper and now I carry his child. After 22 years of being barren, I conceived with the man I committed adultery with.

I know him more intimately than I ever knew my ex-husband. The good, the bad and the very ugly! We didn’t come into each other’s lives unscathed of life’s scars. We both were extremely broken as individuals; struggling both mentally and spiritually. Yet we clung to one another in the best friendship I have ever experienced. Our souls over the years are bonded and completely tied together. 

After a year of staying away from my love, he returned and asked for my hand. How dare I try this again and try to make it holy especially considering the way we started….

The attraction is just as magnetic as day one nearly 9 years prior. The adoration so much deeper and a beautiful child born between us. How could this natural messy situation ever be made right?

This feels hypocritical beyond description! Would God bless us, can I really be happy, and what consequences will we face individually and collectively? 

Despite all these natural questions, we stepped out on faith after 10 months of Godly counsel and married. 

Two years later, it has not been without challenges. On top of the normal circumstances that most married couples face, without spoken words we still look at each other and silently wonder, “Will you do the same to me?”

Despite our flaws, we hold on to our family, our faith and our God who healed what we thought was unhealable.

We are both being set free and elevating in ministry. Turning what the enemy intended for evil into good. I’ve grown so much spiritually. More concrete in faith, knowledge and the power of God than I ever was a decade ago. The test and trial was excessively painful and I lost a lot. But he restoreth my soul and Great is thy faithfulness!!

Finally I can breath! Without guilt, condemnation and shame. My fervent prayer is that someone facing similar circumstances be encouraged by my journey and make some healthy decisions. My Realboldtruth is indeed my testimony!

The Bigger Person

I recently had an encounter with a woman who is obviously bitter and stuck on a series of events that occurred nearly 12 years ago. Her demeanor towards my husband and I on a day that was suppose to be nothing but sheer joy was just down right inappropriate!

My flesh wanted to rise up so badly but I was able to reframe from counter reacting in the same way. There were children around and I considered the conduct of God so I said nothing. 

As I walked away I felt my insides boiling hot!! This is not the first time this person has been disrespectful to me. Previous times were indirect but this time was right in my face! I wanted so desperately to shut her down but knew I would not have been able to do so with the love of the Lord. 

Several days later I still felt myself reliving the event. Does she think I’m weak, a push over, or some simple woman because I remained silent? I don’t ever want her thinking that this sort of behavior will be both tolerated and acceptable going forward! I had to consult my Heavenly Father about what to do at our next encounter; for there WILL be one!

I clearly heard him speak of what Proverbs 29:11 says; “A fool uttereth all his mind, but a wise man keepeth it till afterwards.”

Furthermore, Ecclesiastes 10:14 says “A fool multiplies words; no one knows what is coming…”

He also reminded me that in the event that we meet again, a soft answer will turn away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)

If I decide to respond in the same manner, a war of words at minimum will indeed be the result and two fools will be present vs. the initial one!

 

My flesh of course wants to give her not just a piece of my mind but the entire thing! She has it coming, but what good will that do and how will I be honoring my Father who has provided the ultimate instruction? She hasn’t gotten over or won anything, rather continues to prove how immature she steadfastly remains.

Have you ever had a situation like this before?
What happened and how did you handle it?

Were you able to represent Christ although your natural man wanted to completely take over?

I know for sure that a war of nasty words by exchange would have been instant gratification to my flesh. The outcome also could have been worse. I thank God for helping me that day not to consider an eye for an eye. This woman too is a believer and still a child of the Most High God Never-the-less.


Turning the other cheek may not be what we want to do in instances like this, but is the action our Savior certainly expects when we represent Him.

Dangerous Thin Lines

Last month I had an opportunity to attend a two-day women’s conference held in a state prison. I have never imagined myself ministering to women who have been incarcerated and was not sure how God would use me in that setting.

When the Ministry team and I arrived, the experience became completely surreal! Being stripped of things I take for granted daily, being ordered around and told what to wear, reminded of what to leave home, being searched and shaken down. We had to walk through heavy metal electronic doors. Hearing that chilling sound of the same slam behind us then lock up, definitely struck a cord or two! The experience surged through my core creating apprehensions that this life for many truly does exist!

The corridor leading to the chapel where the inmates were waiting for us was very dull and gloomy. Although not maximum security, it was clear that the facility was far from modern in every way. Those unfortunate to call this place home are offered no more than the bare necessities to survive. 

To my surprise, when I entered into the chapel the women were already engaged in praise and worship. I was taken aback because of the ignorant perception in my mind of what I thought I would see. The women had their hands raised and eyes closed in reverence of the Lord. They were clearly open and ready to receive! Any mental defenses I had up immediately fell as I silently whispered to my Savior, “Lord, use me in this place!” I was in complete awe of their genuine tender hearts and was willing to serve in any way possible. 

As I took a seat and waited for direction from The Ministry Leaders, I scanned the chapel. It was quaint, warm and inviting. The presence of God was without question in this place! Had it not been for the guards, warden and state uniforms worn by the women, I could have easily felt like I was simply visiting a new church. The atmosphere really helped to ease my preconceived notions I had conjured up in my mind days leading up to the visit.

I then scanned the faces of the prisoners. I was in shock as I considered them. Many looked like me! Normal, non-threatening, sweet, mature, beautiful and loved God. They were mothers, wives, girlfriends, grandmothers and more. What the heck are they all doing here?? I’ve got to be on “Candid Camera” for there is no way ALL of these women are capable of unthinkable acts….

I discovered that I was amongst physical abusers, drug addicts, alcoholics, thieves and yes, even murderers…

As several shared there stories of how they arrived at this place, my heart broke as their tears fell reminiscing on the days they simply made the wrong decision that drastically changed their regular lives forever. It only took a second, a fleeting moment in time that caused them to put dangerous undo pressure on some very thin lines.

I am very familiar with those moments, for I have had several throughout my life. In fact, The last, not that long ago. Outraged beyond reconciliation , responses without thought when I am offended; wanting to plot revenge against one who has hurt me; basking in unforgiveness, hate, cruelty and near insanity! My own thin lines could have very easily placed me exactly where these women are.

Although thankful that my Savior has saved me from myself today, I need Him tomorrow and always to teach me to respond the way He instructs: 

With soft answers that turn away wrath -(Proverbs 15:1)

Love my enemies – (Matthew 5:44 & Luke 6:28)

Leave revenge to The Lord – (Romans 12-19)

Forgive as He has forgiven me – (Colossians 3:13 & Ephesians 4:32)
And so much more…

My prayers remain with those women that have had such an impact on my spirit. As I was there to minister to them, they actually did the same for me. They are currently living through their testimonies and God STILL wants and loves them. I can only pray that I will encounter at least one in the future to see how God turned everything around for their good. (Genesis 50:20 & Romans 8:28)

Are you walking dangerous thin lines today? If so, please stop and consider your future. God has the answers to all that troubles you. Don’t allow the matter to eat away at your soul like acid. If you do, you can easily find yourself in the state of one of these women or worse. No matter how offended, hurt or unfair it all has been, seek God to stabilize your path; He will turn those thin lines into concrete boundaries that only He can sustain.

STFWO – Talk Show – Forgiveness

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Hi there The RLRT readers.  At the beginning of this month I had an incredible opportunity to be a guest speaker on my Church’s Monthly internet talk show program.  It’s called Straight Talk for Women Only.  I spoke about my testimony concerning my “Job-Like” experience that I wrote about in my  2/28/2016 Soulful Sunday Blog. (Soulful Sunday – 2/28/2016)

 

I will be writing more intimately on the experience in articles to come. Thought I would share the talk show link with you.  It’s a little under an hour long and I don’t really get warmed up until about 6-7 minutes in ! My first time doing something like this because I am typically very quiet and more introverted naturally, but God is apparently calling me out!!  If you have an opportunity to view let me know your thoughts.

 

Although this is a talk show for women, anyone can relate to this subject concerning Forgiveness.  If you are disappointed in yourself, can’t seem to get past an offense that someone subjected you to or can even admit that you are mad at God, this could be what you need to hear. Blessings always and I so appreciate your readership support.

Related Articles:  Forgive God    Being Mad At God

Victory Christian Fellowship – Straight Talk for Women Only is a monthly internet talk show that airs the 1st Thursday of every month.  For more information  and show archives, visit http://www.straighttalkforwomenonly.com.

 

 

#Jesus  #forgiveness  #madatgod

Soulful Sunday – 2/28/2016

  

When The Savior Is Silent

A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to speak at a women’s group at my church. I shared a testimony about an extremely difficult period in my life that I refer to as my “Job-Like Experience.” It lasted nearly three years from late 2007-2011. I lost any and everything important to me back-to-back. The turmoil seemed to come out of no where! One day I was basking in calmness, then the next all hell seemed to break loose simultaneously! 

I suffered multiple family deaths, broken relationships, I was going through a divorce, lost my home, suffered an attack on my health that landed me out of a fairly new job shortly thereafter. I found myself for the first time in my life utterly alone. Only my spiritual life remained and even that hung chronically in the balance. I was incredibly broken from the inside out.

Oh, how I wish I could relay that during these trials that I fell down and worshipped God. I did not! I was utterly offended by my circumstances. I cried out to God often but for the longest time, He never responded. I allowed this silence to completely break my faith and instead of saying “Thou He Slay Me, yet will I trust him…(Job 13:15), I walked away from Him for two years and grew angry, bitter and cold. 

I don’t believe that everyone is called to a Job-Like experience. We will all suffer in this life-time devastation to all of the areas I mentioned above, but a select few will endure this level of loss concurrently. While I was going through, I knew not a soul who was enduring so much loss. Those who knew what I was facing genuinely offered their sympathy but ran out of things to say as I reported one offense after another. They ultimately turned away from me and thanked God that their own situations did not look any where close to mine.

While Job went through, God was silent for what appeared to be a very long time. Job’s first test is revealed in the scriptures in chapter 1 and God doesn’t speak to Job until chapter 38!!! When I consider real time this delay could possibly be translated into weeks, months or even years!!! Never-the-less, Job never sinned against God.

I’m obviously not Job for I sinned a great deal during my trials. Like his wife, I even though it best at times to curse God and die. (Job 2:9) (Real Talk!) Yet when I look back, he never left me. He ultimately began to speak after a time and I looked up noticing how far from the cross I had strayed. I ultimately fell on my knees, repented and came back to the safety of his arms. Like Job, he restored everything I lost and I was forever changed.

Have you had a time in your life when God grew silent?

How did you respond?

What advice would you give anyone struggling to hear his voice during difficulties and He does not speak?

Although I failed my tests miserably, I certainly don’t wish for a retake in that exam by far! I wouldn’t wish the experience on my worse enemy. It is painful long suffering at it’s finest! I am completely thankful that He never left my side during my disobedience and feel honored to share my experience with others.

Regardless of how we view our circumstances, wether in reverence or disobedience, Christ our Savior is still faithful to see us through, even in deafening silence.

Happy Sunday!

Related articles by The RLRT if you are feeling Mad at God.

http://wp.me/p5yrTv-3T – Forgive God

https://therealliferealtalk.com/2015/07/20/being-mad-at-god/

The Grasp of A Million Pieces

She said she was raped and I am the product of the act. She was young, naive and longing for someone to love her. I just wasn’t expected.

She rationalized in her mind to somehow make right out of the wrong by seeing the pregnancy through and somehow create a family. So she stayed with my father and her offender….

A mother she never wanted to be, at least not now and not this way. She had dreams of her own which were now delayed, deferred and ultimately denied. For this child required so much and sometimes it was hard to give of herself naturally and free from resentment.
He made promises to her that never came to fruition. She ultimately found the courage to leave with the baby born between them; against the visions for her life. Only to meet yet another man with similar behaviors, patterns and intentions….

This is the truth of my Mother…

Mine is…
When calculating the ages of both my parents, my conception was indeed an act of statutory assault if nothing more. He was nearly 10 years her senior when she delivered me at the tender age of 17. She was just a kid that had a kid…

This news was delivered to me after the death of my father at age 69 last year. Cancer stole his last breath. The blow of how I came to be left my already fractured life without reason, completely shattered with revelation into a million pieces….
It all made sense to me now. Our life long struggle to function as a healthy mother and daughter duo and my father’s inability to be just that. Was the sight of me in their eyes a constant reminder of what probably should have never happened in the first place? Mere Speculation on my part but probably not far from reality…

I can not obtain clarity on this question from my father but my mother is still here for she was battling cancer simultaneously…and I’m thankful she survived….

How was it for her to look in the face of a child she was not sure she wanted and yet choose to stay? Quite difficult I can only imagine. The extreme amount of pain left her crippled to effectively mother a girl whose odds of facing her same circumstances were great. Yet she did what only she could; to provide the bare necessities. Anything more was often times agonizing and close to impossible.


Oh and Back to me…my emotions have been grossly mixed. Grateful that I found this out long into my adulthood and not in my unstable adolescent years when I often times contemplated suicide. So hurt that I was defined this way leaving me unable to look myself in mirrors as I passed by; praising my creator for protecting me when I did not have the protection of my parents and angry at God all in the same breath….A weird distasteful emotional concoction equivalent to the mix of pickled red beets, sauerkraut, and albacore; the blend should never be!

Although a tremendous amount of pain, we are healing inspite of..

We hold on to one another less loosely. These days I don’t feel like it’s out of obligation. The grip has become less burdensome since we have discussed this openly and honestly. It got uglier before it got better but this too had to be.
We can’t change the past but have a future we can define however we so choose. As an individual and now mother myself I must accept her truth and deal with my own. I have some control over that at least. I still naturally need her love regardless of how I came to be and how much she chooses to give. She’s the only Mom I have; the DNA can’t be replaced. (Look at the picture of us below; I am her little mini-me.) And when I consider the totality of her story, she has strength that I do completely admire…

So we hold on. Free to love each other without expectations. We take what we can get and its truly enough! I tell the devil to kick rocks in this matter. I need to heal and move on! For this mother and daughter, after all we’ve been through; finally are.

Coming IN – A GLBT Tribute

  

As a Believer this is the most difficult, complex and controversial article I have ever written. I’m actually a bit nervous as I own these words. What will they say? What will they think? What backlashing label will I receive? Should I even utter a word? Never-the-less, I am compelled for I know that these are some of the same sentiments those in the GLBT community face daily and more. So as brave as many of them have become, so shall I from a Christian perspective as I come to terms with what I have labeled as their process of “Coming In”. 

I confess that I have viewed those in the GLBT realm rather harshly as a heterosexual female and Believer in the Gospel of Christ Jesus. My judgement as an imperfect being against another has been the true reflection of hypocrisy. For this I am truly remorseful. I vow to work on this from here on out!

Over the past several months I had the opportunity to be up close and personal with two couples. One, a mixed married male couple who invited my husband and I to their home for a birthday celebration. I initially had reservations because of the unknown. My husband is a childhood friend of one of the men. He has known him for over 30 years but had not seen him in many. His friend has been avoiding school reunions and other gatherings and we can only suspect it’s because of his lifestyle. When they were young, he did not portray himself as a Gay man. The suspicion was there but no one dared to ask. By the end of the night I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of kindness, overwhelming hospitality, conversation and generosity extended to us. I had a fabulous time! There was nothing weird, gross, or disturbing behavior displayed. Most importantly, my husband walked away with closure as he took a moment with his friend to clear the air, asked him to own up to his choices and officially introduce us to his spouse. Even as a middle aged man living Gay for many years, it was evident that the request was both difficult and a tremendous relief all at the same time. To my surprise, I was genuinely happy for the couple and look forward to seeing them again.

The other couple are females. They are very young and facing their beginning years of embracing their sexuality publicly. I have an intimate and binding relationship with one of the them. I have known of her struggle to walk in her truth for years but we have never talked about it due to both distance, time and opportunity. I have also suspected avoidance on both our parts as a culprit as well. 

Recently I stole a moment with her. It was time to remove the elephant in the room that has been a hinderance in our relationship. It was time for him to go! At this point in our lives I wanted to create a sense of transparency in order to bring us closer if at all possible. I started the conversation by telling her how proud I am of her accomplishments as a young woman. She has been stellar in academics, has developed a committed work ethic, still dabbles in her creativity and has recently ventured out and secured her own living quarters. She is so personable, funny and loving. I followed by telling her if anything I had to say makes her uncomfortable to simply shut me down! At this point I felt I had a right to address the issue. Her transition is happening before my eyes so why not talk about it since she’s part of my life indefinitely. I only hoped she saw my approach the same way.

I told her that I am not only proud of her life achievements but also her bravery and strength of “Coming In” to her true and authentic self. Anything less has been bondage, suppression, and down right phony for her. She can’t live her life trying to fulfill everyone else’s expectations of who they think she should be. I believe the conversation was embraced and bought on a sense of relief. At least it did for me. I am not one of the most significant in her circle but I am a part never-the-less. I needed her to know that I love her no matter what.  

For Christians, I think we must alter our approach when it comes to the GLBT Community. After we share what the word says then provide warning against wrong doing there is nothing left but to give love and PRAY! They are not going anywhere and are making great strides in their fight for acknowledgement and equality. We do ourselves and our Savior an injustice by classifying their way of life as the greatest sin of all. Only he has a right to do that. 

Please know that I DO NOT condone the lifestyle. I believe it greatly interrupts God’s plan for his children. According to the word of God in which I believe, it is sin. He calls it an abomination. Noted in both the Old and New Testament, the act does not conform to HIS will for human life. (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27)

Furthermore, neither do I condemn the lifestyle because I have no right as a person who must deal with my own sins as I walk with God. Unforgiveness, revenge seeking, self loathing, looking down on others and not being compassionate enough towards those in need are just to name a few that I have battled with just this week! I have countless issues, THIS IS REAL TALK! I’m not and will never be perfect. I have my own work to do! So do those who continue to judge the GLBT community. None are blameless! The Word is absolutely clear about this as well! (Matthew 7:1-5)

To my brothers and sister in Christ, please consider addressing the GLBT community as you would anyone else. I am certainly NOT talking about the ridiculous concept of “Praying The Gay Away”! it’s not going to happen! Pray for their safety for they are being hunted, harassed and harmed. Pray for their well being for some consider taking their own lives because the struggle of accepting who they are is real! Pray for their health for many are sick. (Not just with HIV & AIDS – Lets remove the stigma that they all are some big walking disease because all of them are not!) Pray for their relationships with family and friends to heal and grow stronger. Pray for those who share our Faith in Christ that they don’t loose sight of who he is in their lives. Finally Pray for their salvation for many believe that God does not want them because of how they live. This is what we Must Do in love. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

To the GLBT community, forgive me, the Church and those who judge you that are far from perfect. I am learning that many of you who don’t flaunt promiscuity or force your choices in the faces of others are some of the most beautiful, loving and giving people ever! You have morals, values and respect very similar to my own. Honestly, I am learning to embrace the GLs but still struggle with the BTs. I just simply don’t get it, but am more willing to take a more sensitive and neutral position again because of my own imperfections.

I no longer view the process of exposing sexuality as a “Coming Out”. It is rather a “Coming In”; to a truth that is so personal and not about anyone else but the person dealing with the matter. Yes others will ultimately have to decide what they will do once you expose, especially if you have been concealing from family and friends. But the first person to accept who you are as a GLBT person is YOU. Be authentic, be sovereign, be secure, be well in mind, body and spirit. Last but not least, “Come In” to knowing that God STILL loves and wants you! No matter what you think or what others tell you. Develop and “Come In” to a personal relationship with him. JUST AS YOU ARE! YOU’RE GOING TO NEED HIM. We all do! He loves all of his children no matter how messy we think we may be. No one is exempt from receiving his love and no one has done anything so terrible that they are not worthy of it. Unlike humans, His love is unconditional! Let go of the insignificant perception of others. People don’t matter when it comes to You and God! Breath; Be you, Be Free, and just “Come In”.

Comments to this blog are encouraged. Anything offensive, derogatory, and over-opinionated as deemed by the author will be deleted. 

Forgive God

Several months ago I discovered an extremely disheartening fact about my life. Although I did nothing to contribute to the circumstances, the news left me incredibly disturbed. In digesting what had been shared about how I came to be, my emotions ran extremely wild. At first I was shocked and numb, then I was grateful that I had not heard this years earlier. For my fragile and unstable spirit in my adolescent years could have possibly led me to an untimely grave.
Then I shifted to understanding. I felt a heightened level of empathy for those involved and even hoped one day they will find peace in it all. The news also provided real clarity concerning some difficult questions I have bared about my life for countless years. It all makes sense to me now. Finally I know; But left extremely livid with God…

A blog post I wrote earlier this year was entitled “Being Mad at God” To this day I don’t believe enough people will admit to having these sentiments. I am indeed a believer in the Gospel of Christ but I am also a realist which may not alway be a valuable quality. I feel I am doing my relationship with my Savior an injustice if I don’t remain authentic with my feelings. THAT’S REAL TALK! How else can I move forward?

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of sharing my truth with someone who survived a similar fate in life. This woman is a wise pillar of incredible strength. A nurturing motherly figure she is with a sweet and genuine disposition. She is also extremely no-nonsense when it comes to spiritual warfare. A powerful intercessor in prayer and counsel. I was divinely set up to share my pain with her and I was ready.

“You must Forgive God.”, was part of her advice as she prayed for me. In all of my 42 years on this earth I had never heard of such a thing! I’m already Mad at him which I dare not share with a single soul now I have to forgive him? Who am I to have such audacity? It almost sounded like blasphemy; an insult to the High One who does no wrong, EVER! I was left overwhelming perplexed but intrigued at the same time.

I left my counselor feeling renewed but still confused. How do I begin a process that I can’t even relate feeling worthy of? He’s God and nothing he does or allows is error. ! (All things are working for our good. Romans 8:28) Still I needed to consider if there was any validity to the theory.

After a week of digesting my nearly 3 hour mentoring conversation I finally decided to explore the option. I was still feeling some kind of way towards God. I had to do something. I referenced the Internet and Googled the term “Forgive God”. As I suspected, I received very few hits in return. No one is admitting to my experience nor have they written on the topic. I initially felt awful and nearly chalked this matter up as me simply being immature in my Christian Walk. I just need to grow up once and for all. But then I ran across an article on a credible website. It was just what I needed to read!

My anger with God is due to my hurt feelings. In all honesty, I have felt let down, disappointed, betrayed and ill regarded by the one who created me. How can he allow these things to happen to me if he loves me and is in control of all things?

I must deal with these individual emotions and come to grips that God truly cares about my views. If I don’t, my future and others tied to it are in jeopardy. His perfect will is indeed manifesting in my life and all circumstances had to be, even those I have been grossly offended by.

I am learning that the act of “Forgiving God” is not equivalent to that of Flesh & Blood. Human lives WILL DO wrong requiring forgiveness. But since God NEVER wrongs, addressing forgiveness with him must be approached differently.

The adverse emotions that I feel towards him are what the enemy wants in order for me to stay stuck in self pity. The longer I reside in these emotions the longer I delay my destiny that the pain is a direct part of. Like my counselor, my pain is not about me alone. Others are waiting to be free by my testimony. Just as she did for me I must position myself for those in waiting.

Forgiveness is a process which I am still working through. More prayer scripture and faith in the matter is the only prescription I need to finally heal. I’ve tried, but truth is I simply can’t live without God. There is no other way….

(Cut and paste the below links to access the article and theme song. For those who have discretely dealt with this issue, you will be blessed!)

Article Р Will you forgive God?
http://www.charismamag.com/spirit/spiritual-growth/15336-will-you-forgive-god&ei=hMAdUMeAF8nTyAG_loH4Bg&usg=AFQjCNHVwalZDmXZh_CYjUYXa4KsIw76_g
Theme Song Р There is no way I can live without you.