Tag: sadness

The Remnants of Rejection

They still linger wooing you back into the deepest pit of despair to have teetering intimacy that tortures and paralyzed your soul.

After revelation, acknowledgement, spirit searching and confessing deliverance, sometimes the emotion of rejection still lingers.

During times of great inconvenience

Feelings of inadequacy

Struggling to find common place in familiar spaces.

Emotional walls you use as shields to barricade your over sensitive mind and still fragile heart. All serve as an avoidance mechanism to prevent the excruciating pain of human dismissal.

You know that:

You matter!

You have something to say!

Great things to offer.

Were Put here for beneficial reasons.

Have a great deal to offer…

But yet the remnants of rejection haunts periodically from:

That boss who overlooks you constantly.

That spouse who once adored you is now taking your presence for granted.

That father who only donated to your existence but walked away from taking part in your development.

That mother who only carries the title but failed miserably to prepare you for life in action, deed and guidance.

That circle of people you’ve tried to fit in with but struggle to consistently feel a sense of acceptance.

That child that now discounts your sacrifices down to mere mediocre obligations.

That organization, network group or ministry that fails to recognize your value by not allowing fresh perspectives to advance the agenda.

It is all evident and really truly hurts.

You live on with deep suppression of it all. Some days not entertaining rejection works but other days it burst on the scene of your feelings like a tidal wave leaving you drowning in great emotional despair.

But God who has delivered often reminds you to stay focused and forge ahead not giving into to the temptations of the accusatory voice. For that is truly what rejection is. A self destructive tactic of the enemy to cease what must manifest in your life.

He (Satan), also knows your value and how powerful you would be if only you find the courage to shut him down completely and permanently!

The facts of how you came to be, who suffered a loss due to not accepting you as a blessing, or who felt it robbery to contribute to your maturity are all significant components directly tied to your life’s purpose.

Be not deceived that your current experience defines your end result. God, in Christ Jesus is more than willing to heal your heart from rejection and beyond. Trust the process by looking to Him and Him alone. Through the Savior, we are never thrown away, never discounted and never left alone.

Soulful Sunday – Wailing In My Wait

There are times when I am not extremely thrilled with God’s timing towards matters in my life. I feel like I’ve been waiting an exceptionally long time for supernatural words to manifest into the natural.

In fact, just this week I had been rather silent in my prayer life; annoyed more so at myself because of how redundant my prayers have been sounding. I was also trying to avoid complaining and speaking the wrong emotional words out into the atmosphere.

I made a choice to be mute until I could adjust my attitude but still walked in the spirit of discontentment.

Fast forward a few days later, I finally opened my mouth to talk with my Savior but I found myself wailing. I released how I was feeling with an ocean of tears, repented for not talking and entertaining the voice of the accuser then gave thanks in praise for hope I still have in His promises.

In life we sometimes will get discouraged as we call out to God for certain situations to change. This is especially true of those that we have been waiting to adjust for a lengthy period of time. Waiting can be exceptionally hard at times and a sense of desperation rises up which can cause our flesh to wail.

God knows and sees it all but truly has things already worked out for our good. We can confirm the same is true by considering if what we seek Him for lines up with His Word and how he delivered us from the last situation we wailed over.

Trying times and challenges we will have always but our God is truly faithful to see us through our circumstances. He’s never failing!

Wailing in our waiting times can be necessary in order to push through with a praise. So release your negative thoughts and energy today in your personal time with God. Then let Him know how grateful you are, how much you still Trust Him and how much you still love Him.

He shall wipe away all of our tears and still has plans for our lives that will certainly come to pass after our wail and our wait.

Until next Time,

Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – Condemnation & Conviction- The Difference

Since we all live in flesh, that fact alone guarantees that each one of us will make decisions and do things contrary to the word of God. It’s just human nature and practically unavoidable at times.

As we grow spiritually, we do get stronger at avoiding the traps of temptation, but we all will still fall short periodically. During this process, others will judge our lives, question our salvation, and criticize our character. Unfortunately, this too comes with the territory and takes a daily spiritual fight to advance in our Christ-like positions.

As we journey, it’s critical to assure we are not handling the mistakes we will sometimes make using the wrong tactics and state-of-mind.

Sometimes, believers can confuse operating in condemnation vs. conviction. There are stark differences between the two that we must keep in the front of our minds.

When we condemn ourselves after making a mistake, we have issued a personal charge to an extended period of mental punishment, blame and rebuke. Condemnation is a tactic from the enemy to make us feel bad indefinitely, walk In unforgiveness towards ourselves and try to make us feel like we are no longer worthy of all that God has for us.

Conviction is rather a gentle “Check” in our spirits from The Lord to aid us in not finding comfort in behavior that doesn’t reflect His Character. We should never beat ourselves up at this nudge but rather take note and work at making corrections in our conduct so that we can continue to grow in Him.

Are you downcast today because of something you did or said to another?

Are you torturing yourself mentally and not feeling deserving of God’s love?

Are you allowing the slurs of others who witnessed what you did wrong to stop your hand and heart from praising our Savior?

Let me encourage you today to know that you’re not the only one! I know what occurred felt unfixable but that’s a lie from Hell and a way to keep you from the comfort of God’s arms. His grace and His mercy are still for you! Stop mentally bashing yourself with condemnation but rather accept the conviction and move on with God! He’s still and always will be for you! That settles it!

Until Next Time,

Happy Sunday

Soulful Sunday: What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

As weeks create months and months turn into years, decades are formed and reality becomes evident. We are aging and are often faced with “THE” question directly or indirectly; Are we making the most out of the life we have left?

This thought feels irrelevant in our adolescent years when we feel invincible for it appears that there is plenty of time to think on these things later; much later…

Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror and 40, 50, 60,70 and beyond are upon us. Our stark reality is where did the time go and are we living a purposed filled life? You know, the one that God has called us to before we were ever in existence.

If you can say without hesitation that you spend your days doing the thing God put you on this earth for, I certainly commend you! However, if that’s NOT you and you are in those age categories I mentioned above, What’s Holding You Back?

The level of true purpose I am alluding to has nothing to do with that job you slave at every day to earn a living. You can confirm that this statement is true if you feel that something is missing and deep inside, you’re unfulfilled. I’m talking about your primary reason for being. You gift, your talent, that business idea, that ministry, that book, that masterpiece that only YOU can deliver and birth to the world. 

It’s that thing you have been seeing repetitively in visions or dreams. That idea that gives you chills when you ponder on it but quickly dismiss with a plethora of old and tired excuses..

That hurt

That shame

That lack of confidence 

That comparison to others

That envy of your Brother

That previous failure

That finger pointing and blaming

That lack of Faith in your Lord and Savior 

For many reading this, What’s REALLY holding you back from embracing your destiny is directly connected to a matter you have not officially dealt with in your past. If you don’t face it, you will end up like countless others; leaving this earth and taking what should have been shared with the world with you. Now that’s really selfish! RealBoldTruth!

I recently had to deal with an extremely painful area of my life that I have been suppressing for several decades. I really thought I had it under control especially as of lates. I’ve discovered who I am in Christ, learned how to look to Him and trust Him more, have been in constant fellowship to assure I don’t go back to old ways of thinking and I’ve been serving and giving faithfully in ministry. Yet this soul striping thing keeps coming up and I grew sick of it! I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still struggling with something that should be so old but knew it was the source of what has been holding me back from all God truly has for me.

I was recently put in a setting and was given the option to become vulnerable and transparent about this thing and my flesh felt reservations. However my spirit prevailed by telling me it’s now or never!

I ultimately shared a very private battle with the most unlikely person and found out she had struggled with the very same thing! I was in complete shock for she seemed to have it all together. She gave me a name for “my thing” and it’s called “Rejection ” she shared with me some tools and specific word that I started using right away and a release I experienced almost instantly!

Initially I was so very uncomfortable being this exposed but it has been way past time to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil!” I want my freedom more than my security of holding on to this dead stinky thing that clearly robs me of so many possibilities!

I challenge you today to think on these things. What have you NOT faced, NOT confessed, NOT healed from, buried alive kicking and screaming that will NOT die? It’s the very thing that is stopping you from spending more energy cultivating you “Gift” than dwelling on what won’t change. 

God has so much more for you but you’ll never experience the totality of His blessings if you don’t give this thing up! Stop lying, to yourself, and listening to the voice of the enemy more than the voice of the Lord! 

Do it NOW, before YOU and IT simply become a memory.

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – MOVE!

Making Oppression Vanish Eternally!

I have battled with depression for more than half of my life. Over the past several years, I can confidently share that I have the condition under control. I’ve been more consistently optimistic than downcast and I absolutely give all the credit to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I finally know who I am in Him and that He has called me for such a time as this!

The state of depression, however does not go away for those who suffer. I believe this to be true for most mental health disorders. The condition(s) must be managed daily or being sucked back into that deep, dark, isolated mindset of hopelessness is inevitable. 

For some, management may be defined by being under a doctor’s care with prescription medication. I’ve been there and it wasn’t the formula that worked to fix my pretty little head! Counseling, addressing the root of my sorrow and monitoring my thoughts through the Word of God has proven more effective than anything else for me personally. It work consistently; if I work it!

I distinctly recall one day waking up angry enough to MOVE! I no longer wanted to live my life as some weak believer being an ineffective witness to the power that lies in the sacrifice of Christ. I was certainly sane enough to make the shift on my own and so desperately needing to try something different.

Certainly my existence is no error despite the circumstances of my past!
I began to ask; What if I dared to truly believe that I am of importance and have something great to contribute to this world and the lives of others!

What’s the worst that can happen if I MOVE!
Beyond the thoughts that naturally play in my mind…

Beyond the facts and events of times in my life that I could not control…

Beyond mistakes I have made and some repeatedly….

Beyond the negative critics that judge and look down on me…

Beyond those that have tried to minimize my voice and presence by stepping and looking over me…

What’s the worst that can happen if I MOVE!

Well truth be told, the worst is now that I have embraced the boldness to MOVE, I’ve faced finding myself in unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory! I’ve been stretched, challenged and forced to deal with the pain of my past that I’ve buried kicking and screaming still very much alive! I’ve had to go through the turmoil of reprogramming my own sense of logic and replace all with the mind of Christ. 

The process has been long and excruciating but has set me on a path that I had no idea was close to being mine. It’s called Destiny! I’m walking in blind child-like faith but can’t turn around for there is nothing behind me that I wish to ever return to. I must continue to MOVE!

Are you stuck in a vicious cycle of mental torture which cripples you from living a productive life and moving forward? Have you buried things that you really need to address and kill first in order to embrace the life that you so well deserve?

You do have the power to change your circumstances but you have to MOVE! It will be the fight of your life, won’t be easy and certainly won’t happen overnight! If you purpose to discover the formula that works for you and keep at it daily, I promise that you will one day look in the mirror and actually love the one staring back at you! Ask yourself if you dare to finally take back your spirit, soul, and mind, what’s the worst that can happen?

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – The Pause Button

There is yet another viral epedemic flooding our country called “The Mannequin Challenge” Its all in the name of fun for it participants as they maintain a frozen position while someone is recording the play to some theme appropriate music. Those that I have seen on multiple social media platforms are really creative and have made me truly smile. I think this challenge is a breath of fresh air during such a time of change and uncertainty for our society.

I have been asked recently to participate in the challenge but I kindly turned down the offer. I feel I am already in one spiritually; as if the pause button to my life has been pressed and I’m stuck and going no where fast. I’ve experienced physical and soul realm fatigue after doing all that I can naturally. There are about six weeks remaining in this year and I have to make some life altering decisions in preparation for 2017. Do I remain on this path that magnifies my gift or do I return to the hustle and grind of the corporate life in order to survive. I won’t have the time to do both with consistency so one will have to be abandoned indefinitely…

Either way I’m on pause in a “mannequin” like position. Extremely frustrated because growth, results and moving forward produces drive, energy and a sense of accomplishment in me. I feel I am at my emotional best when I’m forging ahead.

This interruption of sorts contradicts what I’ve been speaking and sharing lately and I’m concerned for the outcome. God are you there? Have you heard my cries? Will you deactivate this motionless standstill in my life for I’m beginning to question my value and worth yet again. I thought I was past this part of simply existing, but here I am again.

Have you ever felt this way or are you here today with me? As believers we sometimes hit these life patches that appear like life is just standing still and we are frozen in a state that’s not our choice. If that’s you, let’s remain encouraged, someway and somehow that our Lord, our God is so completely busy in action on our behalf. He’s behind the sight of what we can see producing the fruit of our labor. He’s already said what He will do so no need for Him to repeat what was already spoken. 

Being anxious profits nothing.

Doubting is the contrary of Faith.

Forcing efforts that interrupt the work of His hands will cause further delays and confusion.

So we stand, on pause and patiently wait on the Lord.

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Storm Positions


Troubles are certain in this life. No one is exempt. Every human life will experience his or her share. There is no escape and the bible is clear on this certainty. 

Someone’s situation may appear better than yours at a given time but don’t be fooled! Those you look upon with a level of envy are just in a different position than you are.

There are stages indeed to the storms of life. Understanding where you are personally is critical in the fight for survival and your testimony on how you made it through. 

There are 4 Storm Positions that we all face at each distinct trial in our lives.

The Arising -is position #1. We are starting to see the system develop. Some stiff winds are blowing, our blue skies are casting over with dark clouds. But a ribbon of sunshine is still visible. We begin feeling the first few drops of precipitation. We may still be able to offer a half smile, a hallelujah, some genuine praise and calling the devil a liar as we begin to pray and seek direction. 

The Eye – We are now smack dead in the middle at this 2nd Position. The totality of this beasty gale has completely exposed itself. The break of day is far beyond our sight. It’s gravely eerie and blinding with darkness. We are now being tossed, sometimes violently by the hale, winds, rain and earth shattering lightening. We can’t see a way out and God appears Job-like silent! This is the tornado, hurricane and tsunami effect of your dellima at its peak! The enemy is busy on your psyche and your faith may become vulnerable if not shaken.

The Dawning – we are still very much in the storm at this 3rd position but a break has come. The sun is peaking through just a bit and clouds are beginning to roll away. You are beginning to see, hear and experience God in the midst. He is beginning to restore and deliver you. The question is, have you arrived at this point with gratitude or operating in offense of what you had to endure?

The Calm – Finally It’s over! Position # 4 presents a plethora of opportunities. Reminders of what we survived are still quite evident. As we clean up the debris of downed wires, broken branches, loosened shingles and shattered glass of our souls, we can reflect on the lessons and begin to heal. Some unfortunately remain stuck on the details and “whys” robbing themselves of fully embracing this position by keep looking backwards.

If you are grateful for how God bought you through, it’s my personal opinion that our most effective testimony may be somewhere between The Dawning and A little ways into The Calm. It’s Fresh, Raw, soul stirring and its totality has been experienced. Any further out may lose its effectiveness for unfortunately, another system is always on the horizon. BUT GOD!

So when you step on the other side of the clearing, seek ways to share your story and don’t wait too long. The enemy lurks continuously and tries to make us forget how God kept us. Especially if our next Storm is greater than the last.

Christ is our shelter, fortress, shield and the ultimate protector.

So weather up with the Word of God and wise counsel if you are still hurting from your experiences. Help someone else who is going through. We are not Storm Survivors for any other reason but for His Glory.

I Changed My Mind!

Several weeks ago, my 4 year old son fell ill suddenly. I dropped him off at my mother’s home to attend a business meeting that was only to last a little while. Within the hour, I received a call from her and he was crying frantically in the background. What could have possibly happened that quickly, was all I could ask! Swiftly, he developed a fever that knocked his little body out with heat and pain!

As any caring mother would, I left the meeting to tend to my child. I was desperate to nurse him back to health as quickly as possible! He had just started kindergarten and his 5th birthday was two weeks away!

God showed up and the fever broke the following day. He was able to attend school but his personality was different. He was not as playful, smiley or talkative as he usually is. I just made a note to monitor his symptoms and blamed it all on the bug he caught.

The Saturday of that same week, my husband, son and I went to a shopping mall. Isaiah was bouncing around, laughing and returning to himself. I had not seen him like this in several days and was delighted that he was coming around!

When I retrieved him from the car and grabbed his hand, we made our way across the parking lot with my husband several feet ahead of us. My son broke the silence among us and said the most peculiar thing! It nearly made me want to yell out “Hallelujah!” for the entire world to hear!!

Isaiah – “Mommy, I’m not sad no more!”

Mommy – “That’s good baby, I’m glad.”

Brief silence

Isaiah – “Yeah, I just woke up this 

morning and changed my mind!”

I was speechless for a moment! How incredibly mature that mentality is for a 4 year old!! Many adults (including myself) struggle to do this at times! He knew, even at this tender age that he has control over his emotions and chose to be happy! Glory to God! What an incredible eye opener that moment was for me! One that I will not soon forget!




We all have a choice every morning when God blesses us with yet another opportunity to see another dawning. We can choose to operate in a healthy mindset or to be downcast in spirit with a whoa-is-me pity-party. 

Many who are under pressure, enduring sickness, financial strains, relationship chaos, death and other losses can oftentimes grieve and stay negative way too long. For believers, this is the act of taking our eyes off of our Savior and magnifying the circumstances vs. the blessings in and around them.

I think we can all learn an incredible resourceful lesson from my baby boy today. Get up and change your mind! It’s practical advice that can reap priceless returns. There is a time to grieve, be sad, offended and more. The Lord knows and expects us to. It’s absolutely part of being human. But there is also a time to get up and live!

What’s that thing that has you so mentally consumed that you can’t enjoy, appreciate or fathom the beauty that is still in your life? Step on the enemy’s head today and join me in the advice of little Isaiah and simply “Change Your Mind!”