Tag: healing

Inspiration, motivational, Relationships, Testimony, Wisdom

Racism-The Great Form of Evil

Like a great deal of my fellow Americans, my heart simply aches over the recent events that have taken place in Charlottesville VA. It’s a national disgrace and I’m struggling to see a United front in and for “We The People”. Leadership has also delivered a stance a day or two late leaving me wondering if the good for us all is truly a non-biased priority.

My personal experience and view points regarding the topic of racism runs painfully deep. I was once grossly affected by the matter especially as a youth.

Like yesterday I can clearly recall walking to elementary school with my cousins and needing to run through several blocks to safety or risk getting jagged edged rocks slammed in the back of my head. I eventually mastered dodging the blows but only after being wounded on multiple occasions. This was a daily sprint and no way around the confrontation generated simply because of the color of my skin.

In middle school, a boy spat in my face and called me an ugly nigger. I tried to chase him down in flip flops but never caught up to him. I was left feeling like dirt on the ground as his warm thick saliva oozed over my eye and down my cheek. To this day, I believe spitting on another human beings is one of the worst forms of insult imaginable.

Not long after that another approached me and asked me to perform a disgraceful sexual act on him. I remember feeling so frightened for it took him repeating it several times before I understood what he was asking. He was seriously vulgar and I was just about 9 years old.

Several more instances happened thereafter which I won’t disclose but I remember developing the learned behavior of prejudice by the time I was in high school. All of my insults came from caucasian males and I grew a racist distaste over the very site of them. I put them all in the same category and couldn’t fathom any good at all. As an extended result, I didn’t socialize, befriend or seek to get to know anyone that didn’t look like me. I made the assumption that any race outside of my own automatically hates me and I them.

By the time I was approaching 20, a life changing event occurred that melted away a very deep form of racist hate that had been growing in my heart for years. I had rededicated my life to Christ after hitting some tough places and moved to a neighborhood where most residents did not match my skin complexion. I was overwhelmed by how I was embraced but still had guards up looking for hidden agendas. The acceptance just couldn’t be true as I considered my previous encounters. 

Not long after that I befriended a beautiful Korean girl who had a Jewish boyfriend with the biggest heart I’d ever met. Truly the sweetest in my life up to that point. I genuinely grew to love them both and was blessed for these friendships. 

I made a point thereafter to not classify everyone simply because of the ignorance of a few. God healed my heart of the deepest form of hate and I purposely sought out opportunities to get to know all kinds of people who were also willing to get to know me.

Today my heart is completely open and longs for diversity in my relationships. I no longer find contentment in surrounding myself with only African Americans. In fact I prefer to worship with a congregation with a healthy mix of all kinds of people. My current church fulfills that beyond description and I have sisterly/brotherly like bonds that far exceed color lines. Our bond is spiritual by the DNA we share through the sacrifice of our common father, Jesus Christ.

It’s a beautiful experience and I would have it no other way. Adding God’s revelation to my adolescent ignorance as I matured showed me the true definition of love. Had I remained stuck on my initial experiences I would have missed out on rapport with some wonderful people. That would have been my loss for certain if I had chosen to remain oblivious.

I pray for our country and won’t give up hope that we can put our racial differences aside, bond together as humans and demonstrate respect instead of hate. Globally, those with a racists agenda are truly the minority and can remain as such if the majority commit to condemn their behavior as completely unacceptable! 

This may not come to pass in my life time but at least I’m living proof that with God’s love, even a powerful stance of racial animosity can be healed and conquered in Him. I’m living proof, He’s able.

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Kisses From My Daddy


In my lifetime, I have experienced three forms of the sweetest kisses ever. My Maternal Grandmother gave me the longest kisses every time she saw me! I remember as a kid thinking at times that I wish she would stop, but as I grew older I looked forward to them. Now that’s she’s gone, I would do anything for one from her again.


My husband’s kisses still gives me chills after 12 years. His sweetest are those he offers for no reason and those given when he departs from me even if he’s just going to the store for 20 minutes. The ones he insists on right before we go to sleep are expected and comforting.

My son melts me with his sweet innocence like nothing ever has. His tiny precious little puckers turn my heart into a bowl of mush every time! I eat them all up for I know it won’t be long before he’s over being mommy’s shadow and little boy.

I am one of many millions who will never know the love of an earthly father. I can’t relate to conversations with women my age when they talk about their fathers and seeing that little girl in them emerge. I can tell it’s a unique experience that cannot be compared to another just like the three I mentioned above. For those who can relate to my story, the absence of what we never had is a feeling that truly never goes away. There is still a deep longing to be regarded even into adulthood as daddy’s little girl or boy. 

Acceptance can be difficult if one does not learn how God is a Father to the fatherless. His sacrifice should be leaned on and replaced by what will never be in the natural through the Spirit of Adoption.

Several weeks ago I found myself in prayer feeling like a lost little girl. I asked my Heavenly Father to hug me and kiss my tears away. By the end of the day that natural description I was looking for never came. But he showed up in the only way that He can – in the spirit.

He sent sweet little things over the course of two weeks that made the little girl in me recognize, smile, laugh and giggle.

The next morning He sent a butterfly. It was pure white. I was rushing to get coffee but couldn’t help but to pause for a long moment . I watched it flutter and play around a bush on my front lawn. It was the first I’d seen this season. 

He sent not one but two rainbows right over my house after a couple of summer showers. They were distinct with the most brilliant colors! Both were perfectly arched and set just for me. I had not seen even one in 4 years!

He sent the tiniest baby bunny I have ever seen up close and in person. It hopped right across my path out of no where! It was all alone and I watched carefully until he bounced away. Just the cutest thing ever!

He sent an exotic bird – Clearly out of its territory for I’ve never seen anything that magnificent in my neighborhood before. It swooped so close to my windshield while I turned a corner in my car and it’s wing span was breathtaking! The details of its rippled feathers was just a work of art.

No earthly father would be able to top that by far! I know for sure my Abba Father was sending me kisses from heaven! It certainly felt like it and I took it as nothing else but! 

God is more than willing; more than able to provide you with all the love that your neglected heart requires. Spend time learning how to hear His voice, how He moves and speaks to you specifically. He will show up in the most unique ways if you are paying attention. He’s a very good father and you are his precious child!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday: What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

As weeks create months and months turn into years, decades are formed and reality becomes evident. We are aging and are often faced with “THE” question directly or indirectly; Are we making the most out of the life we have left?

This thought feels irrelevant in our adolescent years when we feel invincible for it appears that there is plenty of time to think on these things later; much later…

Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror and 40, 50, 60,70 and beyond are upon us. Our stark reality is where did the time go and are we living a purposed filled life? You know, the one that God has called us to before we were ever in existence.

If you can say without hesitation that you spend your days doing the thing God put you on this earth for, I certainly commend you! However, if that’s NOT you and you are in those age categories I mentioned above, What’s Holding You Back?

The level of true purpose I am alluding to has nothing to do with that job you slave at every day to earn a living. You can confirm that this statement is true if you feel that something is missing and deep inside, you’re unfulfilled. I’m talking about your primary reason for being. You gift, your talent, that business idea, that ministry, that book, that masterpiece that only YOU can deliver and birth to the world. 

It’s that thing you have been seeing repetitively in visions or dreams. That idea that gives you chills when you ponder on it but quickly dismiss with a plethora of old and tired excuses..

That hurt

That shame

That lack of confidence 

That comparison to others

That envy of your Brother

That previous failure

That finger pointing and blaming

That lack of Faith in your Lord and Savior 

For many reading this, What’s REALLY holding you back from embracing your destiny is directly connected to a matter you have not officially dealt with in your past. If you don’t face it, you will end up like countless others; leaving this earth and taking what should have been shared with the world with you. Now that’s really selfish! RealBoldTruth!

I recently had to deal with an extremely painful area of my life that I have been suppressing for several decades. I really thought I had it under control especially as of lates. I’ve discovered who I am in Christ, learned how to look to Him and trust Him more, have been in constant fellowship to assure I don’t go back to old ways of thinking and I’ve been serving and giving faithfully in ministry. Yet this soul striping thing keeps coming up and I grew sick of it! I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still struggling with something that should be so old but knew it was the source of what has been holding me back from all God truly has for me.

I was recently put in a setting and was given the option to become vulnerable and transparent about this thing and my flesh felt reservations. However my spirit prevailed by telling me it’s now or never!

I ultimately shared a very private battle with the most unlikely person and found out she had struggled with the very same thing! I was in complete shock for she seemed to have it all together. She gave me a name for “my thing” and it’s called “Rejection ” she shared with me some tools and specific word that I started using right away and a release I experienced almost instantly!

Initially I was so very uncomfortable being this exposed but it has been way past time to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil!” I want my freedom more than my security of holding on to this dead stinky thing that clearly robs me of so many possibilities!

I challenge you today to think on these things. What have you NOT faced, NOT confessed, NOT healed from, buried alive kicking and screaming that will NOT die? It’s the very thing that is stopping you from spending more energy cultivating you “Gift” than dwelling on what won’t change. 

God has so much more for you but you’ll never experience the totality of His blessings if you don’t give this thing up! Stop lying, to yourself, and listening to the voice of the enemy more than the voice of the Lord! 

Do it NOW, before YOU and IT simply become a memory.

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Kish Magazine

Kish Magazine – The Uncontainable God

Hello RBT Readers! I pray this post finds you all well in mind, body and spirit. My articles have been infrequent lately due to a very demanding schedule which includes starting a new job, BUT GOD!

He remains faithful, ever present and renews my strength from day to day! I recognize this and know if it was not for His hand consistently moving in my life, I simply would not be able to sustain!

Speaking of recognizing, someone needs to be reminded today just how incredibly BIG your Heavenly Father is. He’s quite uncontainable!!

This month I wrote a very short yet powerful article for KISH Magazine on this very matter. Please do check it out. It will take you 5 minutes to read but may serve as the ministry source to get your faith moving in the right direction again.

http://kish-magazine.com/the-uncontainable-god/

If your experience today is an impasse or you are growing faint, be reminded of your position and who your Daddy is!!

KISH Magazine is an inspiration Christian Publication that is distributed all across the country quarterly. The website is consistently update with soul stirring articles, testimonies and features of new authors. RBT ministries has a column that also features new material every month. Check out and share the content at:

http://www.kish-magazine.com

Blessings and be encouraged!

Soulful Sunday, Wisdom

Soulful Sunday – Pastor Dorothy L. Bell


Have you ever asked yourself what could possibly be holding you back from reaching your fullest potential in life? Seems like no matter your countless efforts, favor consistently evades you?

Consider taking your eye off of external factors for a moment and do a self-inventory; NOW!
My Women of Wisdom author this month is Pastor Dorothy L Bell. She penned a concise and impactful book entitled “Arise…Unpack….Live “Now”!

This read comes at such an appropriate time in my life personally. As I effortlessly strive towards the destiny that my God has shown me, the principles laid out in this book cannot be avoided along my journey.

As a representative of Christ I must rid myself as much as possible of things that are not of him. So here we go!

The instructions commissioned in these pages are bold, just the way I like it! Not for the thin-skinned by far! You want to be successful in your God-given talents and gifts, then consider this as I have!

Arise – Recognize, take heed, and commence to owning up to your stuff! You guilt your shame your past, your blames. Your greed and especially your selfish needs. 

Unpack – Those matters that really hold you back and stop carrying them around like some precious treasure! They are not resourceful and certainly not God’s best for your life! You can’t move forward effectively until you throw these things out of the luggage of your soul!

Live – The first two can be the most difficult parts but once they are REALLY dealt with through the Word of God, Counseling and regular inventory to assure you are won’t Re-pack what you unloaded, NOW it’s time to go forth!!

I can’t give away all the detailed nuggets of this book. The above is just a synopsis of what I got out of it. Just good Godly wise wisdom! You have to get your own copy to fully understand. It can be read in less than a couple of days and will be life changing!

Pastor Dorothy L. Bell
 Pastor Dorothy L. Bell is the CEO and founder of Woman2WomanMinistries and has been serving the Lord diligently for the past 32 years. To order your copy of Arise…Unpack…Live… “Now” contact her directly by e-mail at womantwowoman@comcast.net or on her FaceBook page @Woman2Woman. Don’t forget to visit her website for more inspiration at http://www.womantwowoman.com.

Happy Sunday!

Sickness, Video Blog

Video Blog – June 2016 – Views on MS

Hi there readers!!!

Been longer than I anticipated in recording a video blog! Last night I became inspired by another blogger I ran across  yesterday.

Warning:  It’s quite raw, unrehearsed and the quickest one I’ve ever done! It’s me with no make up or primp and prepping! Chanel in the flesh!!! Lol!

I speak candidly about my views on Multiple Sclerosis, a topic that I typically shy away from. After reviewing this you will certainly know how I feel about the matter! Nuff Said!!

Blessings to you all!

Forgiveness, Inspiration, STFWO

STFWO – Talk Show – Forgiveness

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Hi there The RLRT readers.  At the beginning of this month I had an incredible opportunity to be a guest speaker on my Church’s Monthly internet talk show program.  It’s called Straight Talk for Women Only.  I spoke about my testimony concerning my “Job-Like” experience that I wrote about in my  2/28/2016 Soulful Sunday Blog. (Soulful Sunday – 2/28/2016)

 

I will be writing more intimately on the experience in articles to come. Thought I would share the talk show link with you.  It’s a little under an hour long and I don’t really get warmed up until about 6-7 minutes in ! My first time doing something like this because I am typically very quiet and more introverted naturally, but God is apparently calling me out!!  If you have an opportunity to view let me know your thoughts.

 

Although this is a talk show for women, anyone can relate to this subject concerning Forgiveness.  If you are disappointed in yourself, can’t seem to get past an offense that someone subjected you to or can even admit that you are mad at God, this could be what you need to hear. Blessings always and I so appreciate your readership support.

Related Articles:  Forgive God    Being Mad At God

Victory Christian Fellowship – Straight Talk for Women Only is a monthly internet talk show that airs the 1st Thursday of every month.  For more information  and show archives, visit http://www.straighttalkforwomenonly.com.

 

 

#Jesus  #forgiveness  #madatgod

Inspiration, motivational, Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness

Not On My Watch

 

The text message both shocked and disturbed me. Not only its content but the person it came from. As I sat at a stop signal after picking up my son from daycare, my phone lit up. I found myself staring at these words “. I would like to speak to you in person or on the phone. It’s about suicide….” For just a moment, I became mentally paralyzed by what I was reading. Initially I didn’t hear my child calling my name to turn on his favorite song nor did I know what color the stop light was now reading. The extended sound of multiple car horns began to ring out in symphony. I had obviously annoyed people behind me because the light was indeed green when I looked up. I returned to existence by throwing my cell phone into the passenger seat, hit the gas pedal forward and reached for the radio dial. I must remain calm….

For the remainder of my ride home I thought about the person whom I’d received the message from. I know her, but I don’t. She hasn’t let me in over the years; and I have tried. I’d taken an interest in wanting to get to know her better for she is a reflection of me 20 years ago. Young, beautiful, intelligent yet awkward, severely misplaced and constantly misunderstood….

As soon as I reached my house and got my son a snack I called this young woman. I reached her voice mail so I left a message. I received this calm and peace that she was physically fine but desperately needed my ear. It was God assuring me not to let my mind run off with the unthinkable simply because she didn’t answer my call. Is she thinking about taking her own life? Is she even capable of such an act? Had life really gotten that bad that she feels this is her only resort? These questions echoed in my mind for the next 2 hour as I got my son settled and handled other routine domestic duties.

By the end of the night my energy level was nearly depleted but I was not going to let the dawn arrive before talking to her. I found a quiet place to have my conversation without forewarning anyone of the situation. This was a precious, private and personal matter that warranted no other intervention but the moving power of the most high.

When I dialed her number she answered on the first couple of rings. After a few minutes of small talk I got right to the matter. What do you have to ask me about suicide? Over the next hour the space I was trying to get to with this young person was made available. She shared with me her deepest pain. Very heavy, very complex very rooted. In her mind permanent rest seemed like her only escape because life just is not getting any better.

I allowed her to spill every account without interruption. For it was evident that she needed it. What she didn’t know, so did I. When I had the chance to speak I shared with her my own painful past which connected the dots she has been having trouble understanding; we have so much in common and are a lot alike. The phone call ended by leading her to the only source that can help her with this battle in her mind; Jesus Christ, The Great I Am. God led me to turn the conversation into a prayer line and that I did. I plead his protection, power and healing all over her life. For she can’t see it now but she’s living her testimony that she must share with others who will soon be facing her same mind set. I urged her to find a reason everyday to keep on going. She is chosen regardless of how displaced she may feel.

After we hung up I texted her a phone number to seek Christian Counseling. Therapy is necessary for the matters she is facing are years in the making and she continues to add weight to those burdens as she experiences new ones. The pressure is becoming to heavy to keep concealed and handle alone.

I learned a couple of lessons after this encounter. One of them confirmed to me that the experienced must help the less than. Maintaining tunnel vision is selfish especially as believers. Our lives are meant to be lived to help others and not just focus on our own agendas. The Movie “War Room”, a Christian film on how to really fight life’s difficulties shows an awesome example of an older woman purposed to help a younger woman. In fact she prayed for the opportunity and for God to send her a specific person. God did just that! When her work was done the Sr. Challenged the Jr. to pay it forward and find someone younger than her to help in the same way. We need more of this for sure today.

The topic of suicide is taboo in our society. We don’t openly speak of it until someone has actually acted out. If you dare mention that you have had the thought you are labeled as weak or suffering from mental illness. I don’t feel that is 100% accurate. I feel it takes an extremely strong and brave person to admit they have been or in fact are there! Life is extremely difficult and when being pressed on every side, waking up and facing the pressures all over again can be more than a challenge. Even The character Job in the bible wished his life to be over when he lost everything that meant anything to him.

Can you admit that you have been where my young friend is? Well I have! If it had not been for the Gospel, I truly would not be here! This is REAL TALK!

If you or someone you know feels like Suicide is the answer, please understand that the difficulties you face are so much bigger than what you can fathom. Your life is about the Will of God and not your own. What you are facing now is your pain to your life’s purpose. You must live it and unfortunately can’t fast forward this part. But stick around to see the goodness of God show himself strong in your life. While you wait, pray, get counseling, find someone who can relate to help pull you through. You will survive this no matter how hard it seems!
As for my friend, I’m committed to being there for her and check in often. I have and I will. She must live and not die, at least not on my watch..

Inspiration, motivational, reflection, Relationships, Spiritual Awareness

Love Conditions

Conditional Love

I have lived on this earth long enough and have survived enough trials to confidently declare that the human heart needs what it needs. As a result, and like a wounded child acting out in a tantrum, the heart won’t stop bleeding and crying out until it is fulfilled.   Depending on the situation connected to the yearning, this silent fret may unfortunately be a life- long muted experience for many.

Human beings need to be loved.  I don’t declare this as if it is news but just restating its fact.  But there are different degrees of love that are extended to us that cannot be duplicated by any other source.  The love a child gives its mother is not the same as the love given by her husband.  Just as the love provided by a true friend cannot be substituted by that extended by a parent.  This can be validated when considering a man successful in his trade, wealthy in his accounts, healthy in his status, and plentiful in friends, family and business relationships. He appears to have it all.  But in the midnight hour and when no one is watching he must deal with that hollow area in his heart that desires a companion. Nothing else in his life will satisfy this longing so his heart will bleed.  Or what about that woman who has the most loving husband, the house, the cars, the career and the reputation that most would envy.  Yet her wound is barren and she can’t conceive.  Her longing for a child has been denied so her heart aches and bleeds in the very same way.  There is no substitute that will completely end this painful flow from the heart but the thing it desires; WITH CONDITIONS .  Time can and will be spent attempting to substitute the void but nothing ever truly satisfies.

It has been nearly three weeks since my biological father left this earth.  I am experiencing varying degrees of grief that have surprised me. I resent that I miss what I never had that only he could provide.  There was never any substitute for me.   During my second day out on bereavement leading up to his funeral, I spent several hours alone and I cried out to the Lord probably like I have never.  I asked one question repeatedly, “Why didn’t my father love me?” God responded to me in my dream after crying myself to sleep, “Chanel, he did, just not by your definition.” With the inquisitive mind that I have I had to analyze this answer.  How was I expecting my father to love me?  All I wanted was for him to be Present, to Provide and to Protect. That wasn’t too much to ask or was it? It should have been a natural fraternal instinct but it wasn’t for my father and I didn’t get that.

I put conditions on his love towards me.  As a result I could not see what love he was either able or willing to provide.  I wanted love on my own terms and what he was offering simply wasn’t good enough then and honestly it would not be now if he were still alive.  I am human and that’s Real Talk! Love by his definition did not stop the bleeding of my heart or fill that void only he as a father could.  I felt I deserved more and stopped talking to him for periods at a time as a result.  I have heard my father utter that he loved me many times throughout my life. But since his actions did not line up with my expectations I took his words as lip service and lies.  God showed me on that day that my father was not ever capable of loving me the way that I wanted him to. That’s just not how he was made up. This has been the sole source of discord in our relationship and it took his death for me to finally get clarity. I am forever grateful for the resolve.

Because we are human we have hopes of those significant relationships in our lives. When we get them we have expectations.  We feel that certain people should automatically treat us a in a guaranteed way.   These hopes come with outlined conditions and if we don’t get what we want we will react.

For those empty hearts that may never be filled with what we think we need or want, God is there unconditionally.  He never proposes prerequisites like we do and loves us all the time in spite of our ways.   Hallalujah! That is really good news!  Can you imagine if God loved us in the same fashion as we do others?  The human race would be lost for sure!

Although it is part of the human spirit to long for people to treat and love us in certain ways we need to consider reason and if we are putting unrealistic expectations on what we know is imperfect.  Then give reverence to the all mighty God who is the ultimate definition of Love.  He is really the only one qualified to satisfy those voids we try desperately to fill in our hearts.

Is there someone in your life that you are at odds with because they are not loving you as you wish they would?

If so what is your definition of love and is it reasonable?

Can you still find a way to respect and honor that person regardless?

In your answering of these questions, ask God to help you see these people through his eyes and thank him for loving you just as you are; totally  free of limits ; totally free of conditions.

Inspiration, motivational, reflection, Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness

The Somebody I am

The great I am

My last blog post spoke on the topic of “Letting Go” of painful relationships endured with relatives.  The example I gave concerned my estranged relationship with my biological father.  Ironically as I was penning the words and undenounced to me, he was dying a horrible and painful death by the destruction of cancer. It metastasized from his stomach, to his liver, to his lungs and ultimately to his brain. I was informed that the morphine stopped working and he experienced agonizing and unfathomable discomfort until his very last breath. He passed away this week. We had not spoken in nearly 4 years…….

I grieve today but not in the way that most would when losing a parent.  Unfortunately I did not know the man.  Alcohol and a chronic gambling addiction that I have seen as a part of his existence for more than 30 years were the primary culprits. We were never able to gain consistent momentum as a healthy father and daughter duo. We had our moments in between his attempts to quit the alcohol at least, but they never lasted long.  I don’t publicize this information in an effort to demoralize his character by far; they are just facts in the way he chose to live his life.

Furthermore as a believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I don’t have confidence that my soul will meet his again for I also understand that with great reluctance, he refused with his heart accepting the Lord as his Savior; even on his death bed. For this alone my core is extremely heavy.  For I have not only been robbed of being “Daddy’s Little Girl” in the natural because of his struggles, but spiritually I am also robbed of a possible divine reconciliation. I often wonder what lied behind his obvious deep rooted struggles that would make him be so steadfast against assuring that his soul rested in heaven.

When I consider the traits and generational curses on both sides of my family, they are great in number.  Alcoholism, gambling addictions, drug dependencies, mental illness, poverty, physical, sexual, and criminal offenses are just to name a few.  It is more than enough to question how anything good could come out of such transgressions. For through the years I have even found myself tempted, participating and suffering from a few of the above mentioned…. This is REAL TALK.

What I have found that is even greater is the fight to not allow these curses to overtake my life and continue to affect the generation that God has blessed me to start.  I am now a parent and my greatest apprehension is for any of these issues becoming a part of my Son’s future.  I purpose to give him the childhood and start that I was denied and keep him forever lifted up and covered in prayer.

But back to me, Who am I? This is a question that I have constantly asked myself over the years.  My truth is I am nobody, I am nothing, I am neglected, cast down, rejected, forsaken, unwanted, overlooked and misunderstood……All in the Natural. If any of these descriptions were matters my biological father accepted as his misguided reality without consulting the spirit, it’s no wonder his life ended the way that it did.  I have found that I cannot answer the question of “who I am” nor survive the cards that life has dealt me in the natural.  With gratefulness beyond description I have discovered In the SuperNatural that I am all of the opposite.  I am Loved, accepted, cherished, precious, protected, wanted, regarded, considered and completely comprehended. Had it not been for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ coupled by my belief in what he did is true, my end could certainly look like that of my earthly father.   The curse stops here!

I do thank my biological father for his contribution towards my existence. He is gone now and I remain content that I did all that I could to better our relationship.  I don’t have any regrets just some sorrow that he was never able to see that life could have been lived a completely different way with extraordinary results.

Never-the-less, my Spiritual truth is because of the sacrifices of The Great “I AM”, I survive and overcome the malice of my genetic makeup. I know though HIM and only through HIM that Somebody, I am………….