Tag: Death

RealBoldTruth Visual Show – Mental Health Awareness – May 2018



Hello RBT Readers!  It is always my thoughts and prayers that each and everyone of you remain encouraged, hopeful, strengthened and empowered regardless of what may be going on around you! Remaining optimistic during long stents of uncertainty can sometimes be half of life’s battle. But there is good news! The battle is not ours but God’s!


Mental Health awareness month kicked off strong for The RealBoldTruth visual show.  I thought I would share the replay of that program here on the blog.  Please do view, comment and even share with those you may know struggling with Mental Health disorders (Mainly Depression)  This could be the very thing for them that could begin to change their life!


Blessings in all you do!


RBT Show – Mental Health Awareness – 5/7/2018




Soulful Sunday: What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

As weeks create months and months turn into years, decades are formed and reality becomes evident. We are aging and are often faced with “THE” question directly or indirectly; Are we making the most out of the life we have left?

This thought feels irrelevant in our adolescent years when we feel invincible for it appears that there is plenty of time to think on these things later; much later…

Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror and 40, 50, 60,70 and beyond are upon us. Our stark reality is where did the time go and are we living a purposed filled life? You know, the one that God has called us to before we were ever in existence.

If you can say without hesitation that you spend your days doing the thing God put you on this earth for, I certainly commend you! However, if that’s NOT you and you are in those age categories I mentioned above, What’s Holding You Back?

The level of true purpose I am alluding to has nothing to do with that job you slave at every day to earn a living. You can confirm that this statement is true if you feel that something is missing and deep inside, you’re unfulfilled. I’m talking about your primary reason for being. You gift, your talent, that business idea, that ministry, that book, that masterpiece that only YOU can deliver and birth to the world. 

It’s that thing you have been seeing repetitively in visions or dreams. That idea that gives you chills when you ponder on it but quickly dismiss with a plethora of old and tired excuses..

That hurt

That shame

That lack of confidence 

That comparison to others

That envy of your Brother

That previous failure

That finger pointing and blaming

That lack of Faith in your Lord and Savior 

For many reading this, What’s REALLY holding you back from embracing your destiny is directly connected to a matter you have not officially dealt with in your past. If you don’t face it, you will end up like countless others; leaving this earth and taking what should have been shared with the world with you. Now that’s really selfish! RealBoldTruth!

I recently had to deal with an extremely painful area of my life that I have been suppressing for several decades. I really thought I had it under control especially as of lates. I’ve discovered who I am in Christ, learned how to look to Him and trust Him more, have been in constant fellowship to assure I don’t go back to old ways of thinking and I’ve been serving and giving faithfully in ministry. Yet this soul striping thing keeps coming up and I grew sick of it! I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still struggling with something that should be so old but knew it was the source of what has been holding me back from all God truly has for me.

I was recently put in a setting and was given the option to become vulnerable and transparent about this thing and my flesh felt reservations. However my spirit prevailed by telling me it’s now or never!

I ultimately shared a very private battle with the most unlikely person and found out she had struggled with the very same thing! I was in complete shock for she seemed to have it all together. She gave me a name for “my thing” and it’s called “Rejection ” she shared with me some tools and specific word that I started using right away and a release I experienced almost instantly!

Initially I was so very uncomfortable being this exposed but it has been way past time to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil!” I want my freedom more than my security of holding on to this dead stinky thing that clearly robs me of so many possibilities!

I challenge you today to think on these things. What have you NOT faced, NOT confessed, NOT healed from, buried alive kicking and screaming that will NOT die? It’s the very thing that is stopping you from spending more energy cultivating you “Gift” than dwelling on what won’t change. 

God has so much more for you but you’ll never experience the totality of His blessings if you don’t give this thing up! Stop lying, to yourself, and listening to the voice of the enemy more than the voice of the Lord! 

Do it NOW, before YOU and IT simply become a memory.

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday – Sin Consequence

I am an avid believer that The Heavenly Father is incredibly merciful! There is nothing that compares to His Grace and His Mercy. He’s forgiving, gracious and provides multiple opportunities for each of His children to repent from sin and return to the safety of His arms.

He is well aware that the flesh our spirits live in presents an array of challenges daily! We will all make mistakes, stumble and sometimes fall. Picking ourselves up, turning away from what tempts us and seeking His refuge is what every Believer in the sacrifice of Christ Jesus should do.

However, the enemy has deceived many into becoming content in their premeditated and perpetual acts of sin. This may be in the areas of how we treat others, sexual immorality, adultery, abuse of substances, a repetitive lying tongue, arrogance, pride and so much more. Everyone of us, including myself have been challenged in all these areas at some point in our lives. When I look back over my own life and think about some of the circumstances I put myself in when I knew better and when I didn’t, again, I am overwhelmed by The goodness and protection of The Lord.

As Christians we fool no one, especially not God, when we make a conscious decision by refusing change. We make excuses telling ourselves that we are only human, God will always forgive me, everyone struggles with something and on and on….
It’s true that God will always forgive us but it is also true that He is well aware of the condition of our hearts and how sincere we are when we repent. He also knows if we are truly finished toying with matters that please our flesh but destroys our spirits within.

The RealBoldTruth is that the Grace and Mercy of God runs out! How long that takes is unique for each and every one of us but He will eventually let go and turn us over to our reprobated minds.

 In my experience, He won’t do this without countless warnings first. Most of us know that what we do, especially in secret, grieves Him and is subject to destroy our lives. This can’t be more true relative to those fleshly acts we have been engaging in for years! After a time, we convince ourselves that what we do, we simply can’t stop. That’s a lie from the pit of Hell for Christ laying His life down,spilling His blood and giving up the ghost is all the power we need to put ANYTHING under our feet! God leaves the choice up to us whether we want to go from glory to glory.

If we are repetitively engaged in the same sins today as 10 years ago, we have compromised in that state, it’s become easier for us to stay there, and we are in denial, bondage or both. Deliverance is Necessary before Grace and Mercy ends for us!

There are real consequences to be paid if we refuse change. They include but are not all inclusive to losing our families, losing our health, losing our finances, and losing our lives to premature death.

We can continue to play around with this thing indefinitely, or make the choice to get all that God has for us on this side of Heaven. I don’t know about you but I want all The Lord has for me so crucifying my fleshly desires is how I shall live from this day forward.

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

 Soulful Sunday – My Greatest F.E.A.R!

I sat talking to a friend who shared with me that a woman she knows in her late 30’s lost her life to lymphoma. She left behind a husband and 3 young children. I didn’t know her but the news completely broke my heart. I nearly wept while taking in the details. The thought of her babies waking up calling for her, needing her and looking for her is nothing short of devastation. Her husband longing for her and now faced with the incredible task of doing only what she could. I just don’t want to imagine the depth of it all….

The news chilled me as I watched my 5 year old son play near by. I realized that after waiting 22 years to obtain the title of Mother that a similar fate is indeed my greatest F.E.A.R! I can only pray that my Heavenly Father will allow me to see him through in the natural into adulthood. 

Those who know me understand how driven and intense I can be at times. I’m a goal oriented, future seeking, plan pedaling individual. I find that I am the most content when I am working toward achieving something. Life doesn’t feel lived just by allowing days, weeks and months to go by with no purpose in mind. I do aim to find balance in my quests and am thankful for the few who help me to do just that!

I accredit my current mindset mostly to my past experiences . Now that I finally realize how much of my life I’ve allowed the enemy to steal from me, I’m on a spiritual mission to claim it all back! My life and things I’ve survived cannot be in vain! My story must end with God’s Glory!!

I don’t want to Leave this life prematurely and certainly not before His will in my life is complete. Like everyone else, I’m clueless of the day or the hour when He may call me home. What I do know for sure are the visions into my destiny that are coming from no one else but my Heavenly Father. They are all His, for the images my flesh struggles to perceive. What I am seeing line up with His truths and they shall come to pass!

But none of this without effort on my part! I can shout, nod and agree with the Gospel but if I don’t do my part naturally, I limit His supernatural, predesigned favor on my life!

I MUST write the vision and make it plain!

I MUST seek in order to find!

I MUST trust and not lean on my own thought processes!

I MUST take care of my temple!

All of the above are actions and scripture based. I have control over this if I consistently choose. My life WILL NOT be cut short as long as I do my part and stay focused.

Are you making the most out of everyday you are blessed to see? What actions are you dedicated to working towards to help bring about your expected and desires end? Rest for a while is a requirement but we must all DO something in order to usher in our destinies. It just won’t happen without a fighting effort! Don’t leave this life full of the treasures God sent you here to give away. Doing so would make this F.E.A.R. a gross reality!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Pain Unthinkable – Addiction & A Mother’s Loss – Jennifer Hrischuk



The opioid and heroin abuse epidemic in our country has grown to national crisis status.  The countless lives these drugs adversely affects goes well beyond the addicted.  We are losing mothers, fathers, sons and daughters by the handful to their ensnaring ways daily; by the hour, minute and second.  Not enough is being done fast enough by our government regarding control and intervention.

This post is a very personal interview with a woman, wife, friend, professional and mother that I highly respect and admire.  She was my mentor at the time of this tragedy. The news of her loss was completely devastating and the greatest nightmare of most parents. I was 8 months pregnant with my first child and she was forever changed as she prepared to lay her one and only to rest.

It’s been over 5 years now and the pain still so unthinkable. Jennifer’s courage to share her RealBoldTruth is one story of the gross reality of how lethal this matter truly is.

Reflection on the life of Michelle Lee Hrischuk

By Jennifer Hrischuk


RBT: When you found out you were going to be a mom, how did you feel?


JH – Excited!  This was going to be our first baby together.  Mike had been previously married and I was already a stepmom to Christie.  My pregnancy was great – no morning sickness or physical problems.  We did not find out the sex of the baby until she arrived!   I’ll never forget how it felt to hold her for the first time.



RBT: What was one of your fondest memories of Michelle?


JH – The year she practically stole the show at our church’s Easter Cantata (at least I thought so!)  She was nine or ten and ended up playing the role of a young boy singing his version of the miracle of the loaves and the fishes.   She was as cute as could be, in her fisher-boy costume, singing her heart out in perfect pitch.


RBT: What was she like as a little girl? (Her personality, things she enjoyed, was she a spoiled little princess?)


JH – As a little girl, she was fun and adorable.  She was a very smart and high-energy kid, talkative, inquisitive, talented.  She was reading at a high level by age 5.  She enjoyed all sorts of activities, whether it was a school club or visiting the cousins.  As she got older, she developed quite a sense of humor and liked pulling practical jokes.  She was clever and witty, and due to her intelligence, sometimes you could almost forget she was a child.

RBT: What aspirations did she share with you that she had of herself when she grew up? 


JH – As a young child, there wasn’t one particular thing she said she always wanted to do.  When she got older she did express some interest in work related to helping others.  She never developed a specific career path before she was already headed in the wrong direction.

RBT: What fun mom/daughter things did you two do together? 


JH – We did a lot together!  We both sang and played the piano and sometimes performed in various church venues.  Hiking and outdoor activities were other favorites.  We liked playing board games – and when she beat me, it wasn’t because I let her.  She was a worthy opponent.   Once we wrote and performed a play all in one weekend, “The Magic Pocketbook”.  When she was older, we took a vacation to Ocean City, Maryland – just the two of us.  On the way home, coming through Salisbury, we unexpectedly visited the zoo.  We laughed so much that day and it was all the more fun because it was unplanned.

RBT: Would you say you had a healthy parental connection?


JH – Yes.  Michelle and I did not experience too much mother/daughter friction.   Throughout the years, we actually could talk pretty honestly about most topics.  Even when her addiction troubles started, we maintained a reasonable good relationship.




RBT: When did you first notice Michelle was in trouble?


JH – One evening when she was 15, she was clearly under the influence of something.  I had already caught her smoking marijuana, but this was entirely different.  Turns out, she was abusing Xanax and other prescription pills.  Then it all snowballed from there – suspensions from school, bad grades, not coming home on time and at night……




RBT:  What things did you and your husband do to respond for her and yourselves?


JH – The school recommended that she see a therapist or drug addictions counselor.  We found someone great who Michelle was comfortable talking with.  I think he extended her life by a few years.  One morning she came home after spending a night with a friend – she was in such bad shape that I called him immediately.  With his help and advice, Michelle went to the Caron Foundation for a 30-day inpatient stay.  She learned a lot during that time and ended up staying clean for at least one year.  She continued to go to NA meetings and some outpatient rehab.  Somehow she managed to finish high school without any more incidents, although her grades and attendance were barely passable.


RBT: How long did Michelle’s battle last?


JH – 5 years – between the ages of 15-20

RBT: You were the one that found her unresponsive, can you describe that moment?


JH – It was utterly awful.  At first I couldn’t figure out what happened.  She was lying on the floor next to her bed, the needle right nearby.  Of all of the drugs we were aware of, this was one she managed to hide from us!  Then I wondered if it was suicide, but we figured out later that it was an accident; an unintentional overdose.  This will be hard for some to understand, but because of everything that had already happened with her, I never could relax about the future.  There was a part of me that was always waiting for the next crisis, the next emergency, the next phone call.  Some part of me was prepared for this, unfortunately.


RBT: How have you been coping?


JH – I’m not sure exactly.  I don’t really see an alternative.  Maybe that’s God’s grace, just helping me to be strong and have a good attitude.  My friends and family have been a wonderful support system.  I also was seeing a counselor about six months before she died and continued with therapy for another few years.  I’m not always a happy camper, but I’ve moved on to the point where I can genuinely celebrate with others about their joys – their children’s successes, weddings, grandchildren.


RBT: Has time helped to ease some of the pain?


JH – Definitely.  It helps put things in perspective.  Have you ever noticed that sometimes when a person dies, their survivors start to forget about all the deceased’s bad qualities and only choose to remember the happier moments?  It’s been that way with Michelle too.  Her addiction took up 25% of her life (in years), but we had 75% of her years that were full of very good memories.  Although her addiction years were very stressful, there were still some bright moments in there.  It wasn’t always a nightmare.




RBT: Do you have a relationship with God and if so how has this affected it?


JH – Michelle’s death changed me a lot and because I am a different person now, I have a different relationship with God.  In the earlier years of her addiction, I had so much anger.  Much of it was directed at God.  Things weren’t going as planned.  Why wouldn’t God answer my prayers?  I finally traded in my anger for peaceful acceptance.  I am thankful for all that we have.



RBT: How has Michelle’s passing affected your marriage?


JH – To be honest, her addiction almost destroyed our marriage.  It was a very complicated family situation.  It was just the three of us living together.  I can’t even put it into words – but any family member of an addict understands the continual strain that the addiction causes all the members of the family.  After she died, somehow we just made it through and have continued to move on since then.  I know she’d be happy seeing that we are still together 5 years later.


RBT: What do you want readers to know about Michelle?


JH – She was funny and smart.  In some ways she was wise beyond her years, but in other ways she was still naïve.  She could sometimes try to give the impression of not caring or being uninterested, but deep down, she did care.  I think sometimes it was an act – trying to cover up whatever was hurting her so deeply inside.



RBT: What advice would you provide other parents with children suffering from heroin addiction?


JH- Don’t try to handle this on your own!  It’s a tough road.  Seek help and support for your child’s addiction and also for yourself.  Most likely you will not have much influence over your child’s addiction, so it’s important that you learn not to hold yourself responsible for your child’s actions.  Nar-Anon meetings were helpful to me.  Be prepared for a lot of crazy emotions and thoughts.  You may start doubting yourself as a parent and your ability to make the right decisions.  Your marriage and relationships with other children and family members can really suffer so it’s important to get educated about tough love and not being an enabler.  Find someone to whom you can totally trust, preferably an experienced therapist, and tell them everything that is going on in your heart and mind.   It’s too much to keep inside so don’t try to be a silent hero.




RBT: How is Michelle’s memory being preserved and honored?


JH – Mainly, I just keep talking about her.  She was part of my life for 20 years and that doesn’t go away just because she’s gone.  Many people are afraid to bring up her name, worried that it might upset me, but it doesn’t.  Death is an awkward and uncomfortable topic for many people.  I try to educate everyone that it’s okay to discuss.  It would be much worse to never mention her name and act like nothing ever happened.
We’ve kept her Facebook page going and that has been a great outlet for her family and friends to continue to remember her.  There is a brick in her memory at the Caron Foundation and we continue to support Caron in the hopes that other lives can be saved.  Her gravestone at the cemetery is a certainly a tribute, and the epitaph says, “Your smile and laughter will be with us forever.”  That has turned out to be true – she still lives in my heart and I am so thankful that the memories haven’t faded. 

*The End*

Sleep well Michelle, for despite it all you are a sweet precious Angel whose life was meant to be. Memories of you are everlasting and your life far from in vain.  I feel certain you are with the Savior due to your measure of faith and all those who also believe will be reunited with you again someday.   -Chanel Walker-Bailey



Soulful Sunday – The Day Nor The Hour


Do you feel or have you ever felt invincible? Nearly convinced that tomorrow WILL indeed come? I have, especially in my youthful years! We make plans, promises and work towards our purpose. All the while taking for granted that each day we rise and find ourselves still alive, is a blessing outside of anything we could ever control.


Truth of the matter is, the scripture says we die daily. (1 Corinthians 15:31) Each day that we are blessed to wake up, we are a day closer to the moment when we do not.

It’s a very difficult reality that many of us suppress. We typically don’t think about this until someone we know takes their last breath.


This past Wednesday felt heavy, dark and gloomy. Our world lost yet another iconic legend and it hurts. I was also informed within the same hour about the untimely death of a 16 year old young lady at a local school only 10 minutes from my home. Her mother dropped her off in the morning only to see her lifeless body in a morgue that evening. She was beaten by some other girls her age over a boy. According to details, both deaths appear to be incredibly premature.

PRINCE – June 7, 1958-April 21, 2016

Although My heart truly hurts, my spirit reminds me that no man knows the day or the hour when we will take our own last breath. That’s just a fact we can’t change. This holds true for the famous and not so famous alike.

Amy Joyner – RIP April 21,2016

So how are we living in the now knowing this reality? Do we simply mourn over those we have lost for a time then return to our lives as if our day is guaranteed to be eyons away?

I’m not suggesting to have a mind set fixed on death indefinitely. Even scripture says there is a time for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) We should not live in a constant panic but reflection on how we are living. Are we making the best of our time with family friends our gifts and destiny are the questions and true wake up call.

Most importantly, the Word says every knee shall bow before God – (Romans 14:11) That excludes no one! So people can choose to be Non-Believers or represent the Gospel half hearted. What ever the choice, one day we all will close our eyes on this side of life and enter a new one to face that God and our Heavenly Father is indeed REAL! Make the most of your NOW, without forgetting that our day too shall come.


Rest In Peace to all the greats, not so greats and mankind in general. For peace is what I wish for all because life is indeed very difficult at times. From the human heart, It’s almost understandable that many would question a Heavenly Father’s existence when we are confronted regularly with burdens, tragedy and tremendous loss. But He too faced the same and left his Word to remind us of such.

Stay blessed and encouraged; this day and always!