Tag: fatherless

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Kisses From My Daddy


In my lifetime, I have experienced three forms of the sweetest kisses ever. My Maternal Grandmother gave me the longest kisses every time she saw me! I remember as a kid thinking at times that I wish she would stop, but as I grew older I looked forward to them. Now that’s she’s gone, I would do anything for one from her again.


My husband’s kisses still gives me chills after 12 years. His sweetest are those he offers for no reason and those given when he departs from me even if he’s just going to the store for 20 minutes. The ones he insists on right before we go to sleep are expected and comforting.

My son melts me with his sweet innocence like nothing ever has. His tiny precious little puckers turn my heart into a bowl of mush every time! I eat them all up for I know it won’t be long before he’s over being mommy’s shadow and little boy.

I am one of many millions who will never know the love of an earthly father. I can’t relate to conversations with women my age when they talk about their fathers and seeing that little girl in them emerge. I can tell it’s a unique experience that cannot be compared to another just like the three I mentioned above. For those who can relate to my story, the absence of what we never had is a feeling that truly never goes away. There is still a deep longing to be regarded even into adulthood as daddy’s little girl or boy. 

Acceptance can be difficult if one does not learn how God is a Father to the fatherless. His sacrifice should be leaned on and replaced by what will never be in the natural through the Spirit of Adoption.

Several weeks ago I found myself in prayer feeling like a lost little girl. I asked my Heavenly Father to hug me and kiss my tears away. By the end of the day that natural description I was looking for never came. But he showed up in the only way that He can – in the spirit.

He sent sweet little things over the course of two weeks that made the little girl in me recognize, smile, laugh and giggle.

The next morning He sent a butterfly. It was pure white. I was rushing to get coffee but couldn’t help but to pause for a long moment . I watched it flutter and play around a bush on my front lawn. It was the first I’d seen this season. 

He sent not one but two rainbows right over my house after a couple of summer showers. They were distinct with the most brilliant colors! Both were perfectly arched and set just for me. I had not seen even one in 4 years!

He sent the tiniest baby bunny I have ever seen up close and in person. It hopped right across my path out of no where! It was all alone and I watched carefully until he bounced away. Just the cutest thing ever!

He sent an exotic bird – Clearly out of its territory for I’ve never seen anything that magnificent in my neighborhood before. It swooped so close to my windshield while I turned a corner in my car and it’s wing span was breathtaking! The details of its rippled feathers was just a work of art.

No earthly father would be able to top that by far! I know for sure my Abba Father was sending me kisses from heaven! It certainly felt like it and I took it as nothing else but! 

God is more than willing; more than able to provide you with all the love that your neglected heart requires. Spend time learning how to hear His voice, how He moves and speaks to you specifically. He will show up in the most unique ways if you are paying attention. He’s a very good father and you are his precious child!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

STFWO

STFWO – Many Faces of Motherhood

Hi RealBoldTruth Readers!!

I pray you are all blessed,  highly favored, encouraged and speaking life upon reading this message! If not, it’s not too late to Change Your Mind!!

This month on Straight Talk for Woman Only, my Co-Hosts and I had a beautiful candid discussion on Motherhood. The title has an abundance of faces! We explored many of them, shared our personal experiences and how God has blessed us all through infertility and extended waiting periods to become mothers.

If you or if you know someone who desires to be a mother, this message is a must see. Many of us are already operating in the role and we just don’t know it!

Straight Talk for Women Only airs the first Thursday of every month at 6pm EST. sponsored by Victory Christian Fellowship in New Castle Delaware.

Visit http://www.stfwo.com for access to great show archives. They are sure to be a blessing to the body of Christ!

motherhood, Parenting, Relationships

Order in the Family


One evening last week I was sitting down watching an episode of America’s Got Talent (2016).

A young man by the name of Campbell Walker Fields captured my soul for a moment and had my undivided attention. He is African American, 14 years old and shared a painful testimony about how he was given away by his birth mother and adopted by a Caucasian gay couple who are both males. 

This young man poured out his heart about how he longed to find and meet his mother. Although extremely appreciative of the love and sacrifice from his adopted fathers, he still longed to unite with the source he originated from. The two men who raised Campbell looked on and encouraged their son’s journey. I was completely moved to compassion by their sincerity and support to help their son find closure and ultimately peace. Tears filled their eyes as they clung to one another as Campbell belted out lyrics to a song he composed assuring his mother that he longs to see and has always loved her. 

It was clear that Campbell has never been without love, provision and security. His dads clearly care for him like their own. He wanted for nothing less than the woman who helped bring his life forth but chose not to raise him. His life was still incomplete.

I found myself asking if this young man had all he needed, why would he still long for the woman who gave him away? God answered my question with this statement:

“I have never changed my mind on my original design for the family simply because humanity has.”

The response shook my spirit like nothing has in a very long time!

It was always the purposed intent of our Lord for a concrete family structure: The man who follows God, the woman who follows the man and when they reproduce and bear children, these new lives are molded by the original two. This design, if followed by his Word and instructions for life, is absolutely flawless! Brokenness is inevitable when man changes this design intentionally or unintentionally.

The spirit of our living God is completely grieved when:

Men abandon their families and forfeit their leadership positions as Head-of-household.

Mothers turn away from their children denying them proper nurturing mentally or physically. 

Women are forced to play the role of both parents when the man decides to leave.

Men and Women become lovers of themselves and interrupt the process of natural reproduction.

And so much more….

All of this can leave children left alone, confused, misguided, lacking, and questioning their origin long into their adult years. This vicious cycle can continue into the next generation poisoning our future.

Millions of lives are shattered today because of human divination from the architectural structure of the family defined by the Lord.

No matter how much any other way is justified, His way is the spiritual fabric of our make up, and has been since the beginning of time. This is undeniable under the most intense debate!

The slightest alteration in the perfect family design is the very reason why at 43 years of age, I still feel the obvious void of not being effectively parented. It’s a wound that seems to never heal. It’s the reason why Campbell who wants for nothing still longs to have the mother he was denied of. It’s the reason why other grown and clearly successful figures like Kelly Clarkson  would pen a song about the father who abandoned her entitled “Piece by Piece”. She made something of herself despite his absence but will still breakdown when reflecting on her childhood and how he left her.

No changes of law, fight for freedom, or stances for equality will ever change the original unadulterated hand of God. society can try and has advanced in efforts, but lives will continue to be shattered at the very foundation the more we place resistance on His Will for our lives.

Parenting, reflection

The Never’s of My Life


Today is Father’s Day! An unsung day of sorts that we recognize nationally. Kudos to every man who found it not robbery to operate in selflessness for the well being of their offspring. I salute you!

Unfortunately this level of sacrifice I have and will never know. My biological father chose to live his life for himself, denying me of much and contributing to the many “Never’s” early in my fragile existence.

I never had a birthday party.

I never went to summer camp.

I never went to prom.

I never graduated from high school (GED obtained)

I never had a daddy/daughter date.

I was never treated priceless by the opposition sex.

I never went away to college.

I was never Daddy’s little girl.

I was never mommy’s molded angel

I was never mentored as a youth.

I was never anyone’s sacrificial priority to groom, prepare, and pave a decent pathway towards the start of my future. 

I was never unconditionally loved in the natural.

 I have simply stumbled through life becoming excessively used, abused mistreated and ill regarded. One left to figure out the mass complexities of life alone with no direction.  The scars and mistakes have been many. Mostly invisible to the human eye but tattered and torn fragments were left behind on my heart and soul for countless years.

As a result I have struggled with chronic depression and low self esteem for the majority of my life. 

I was never the life of the party

Never had a lot of friends

Never felt socially acceptable 

Never felt comfortable letting others get too close….

Do you hear the violins playing?? So enough of that broken record! It’s old and redundant! I’ve wasted well over two decades wallowing in self pity over this major void.

These are mere facts of my life that have contributed to the way I was shaped in the natural. I can’t spend the rest of my days reliving how painful these memories have been. My Never’s” as of lates paint a completely different picture!

I have come to believe, accept and adopt in my heart the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He is my Heavenly and Abba Father; the only form of provider and protector I have experienced. It’s the only thing I’ve been introduced to that makes sense and is applicable to my entire situation! 

Because of Him the Never’s in my life have been redefined.

I am never alone for He will never leave me.

I will never be without because He supplies all my needs.

I will never look to any man for affirmation because He thought I was to die for.

I will never be without friends for He regards me as just that.


I never have to be concerned about being loved for He loves and accepts me free of conditions.

I never have to worry about my future for He has those plans covered. 

On this day I give praise and credit where it is due. So I say “Happy Father’s Day to my Lord and Savior” ; the only Example of a true Father I have ever known.