Tag: moving on

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – No Other Way!

I gave my life to Christ at the tender age of 14. At that stage I had experienced some minor challenges in life that felt rather monumental back then. Peer pressures, 1st heart break, fleeting friendships and academic problems. At that time, those issues seemed rather detrimental but then life REALLY began to hit!

As a teenager transitioning into a young adult, I wavered away from my faith quiet a bit. I began to stumble through life; desperately trying to discover who I am, what’s my purpose and where do I truly belong. During times of great frustration in many failed attempts at trying to figure it all out, I would deviate spiritually. Doing my own thing seemed more simple, less pressure, and indeed much easier. That never lasted long! Ultimately, I would return asking myself why do things that are not so pleasing to my Savior feel so darn good? At least initially they did; until I found myself in deep rooted trouble, despair, guilt and shame!

Today as a woman in my 40’s, I no longer suffer with roller coaster of emotions wondering where I belong. I’ve made up in my mind that I am a child of The Most High God and in Him I shall remain.

I’ll spend the rest of my days crucifying my flesh in order to magnify His Name. I’ll forsake the opinion of others and consider only what my Savior says of me. Most other opinions that did not line up with the Word of God have consistently failed me anyway. To this day, God has never!

I’ll speak of His goodness, praise His name and share my testimonies in RealBoldTruth unapologetically! He has been too good to me to live any other way! I’ll allow Him to develop my gifts then use them to win more to the body of Christ, for this is what’s required of me.

I’ve spent enough time on both sides of faith to effectively analyze which life is more beneficial for me. I’m fully persuaded these days to live no other way but in my Heavenly Father.

All else is darkness, confusion, trouble, pain, compromise, wayward thinking, Luke warm, non prosperous, curse inducing and Destiny forsaken.

I’ve lived enough years in all of the above and now consistently want all that God has for me. There truly is no other way!

That may mean I’ll spend the rest of my days fighting my sinful flesh and commanding it to line up with God’s will! It may be difficult but I no longer desire the easy way out! That’s cowardly and will lead to nothing else but what I’ve truly been delivered from. RealBoldTruth!

There’s no turning back for freedom I’ve experienced in Christ in my mind, in my body, in my spirit. That freedom is now evident in my family, in my ministry and everything that God allows me to touch! I can’t turn back now! There’s so much more and I’m finally excited about my life!

When you sit back and consider where you came from and where you are today, are you too convinced that you can’t live no other way but for God?

What stark differences do you see?

What’s your experience and how have those around you changed toward and around you as a result?

The benefits of living my life as a Believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ has not and will not fail me. It’s the only constant that I’ve ever known. For that reason alone, there’s no other way!

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

Inspiration

Changing in Christ

A little more than a month ago, a movie hit the big screen that attracted millions of people to the theatre. Prior to its official release it’s arrival was highly anticipated particularly by women. During the film’s first opening weekend it pulled impressive sales at the box office grossing nearly $30 Million Dollars!

The hype, reviews and acclaim were many as social media went wild on just how good the movie was. As I planned a “Girl’s Day” out with a really good friend of mine, naturally we felt it only made sense to see what all the hype was about! Sadly to say, we both walked away from the experience extremely bewildered.

I found the movie to be a bit repulsive, tacky and tasteless. Both my good friend and I were incredibly boggled by our reactions and why we were not just as giddy over the content as most.

Don’t get me wrong, I did laugh a time or two but it got far fetched at some points and I personally was turned off by at least half of the script. Personally, I certainly would not voluntarily watch it again.

Thereafter, several woman in my life asked if I had seen it. When I shared my view points of the film, I was looked upon as snooty, odd, crazy, and/or too deep.

After a slight confrontation over the matter with some other women just this past weekend, I further analyzed my viewpoints. Why did these women, (including some of the men that overheard the conversation) take offense simply over my personal opinion?

I clearly heard the spirit of The Lord whisper the only answer that makes complete sense, “The reason you did not like the movie is because of ME that’s working in YOU!”

Over the past 4 years my spiritual life and maturity has been a priority. I had to make it that way in order to fight to save my life. Along the journey and in this fight, I’m changing. I absolutely haven’t arrived but change is certainly obvious.

Things I use to do, I just don’t want to do anymore.

Places I use to go are no longer an option for me.

People I use to hang out with don’t fit in my circle any longer and we’ve drifted.

Things I use to hear that never bothered me before now grieve my spirit and I’m just not entertained by it anymore!

Evolving in Christ is inevitable when you are a Christian that refuses to compromise your position in Him for the sake of others.

You’ll begin to see things differently, go against the grain and become remote in your perspective. You may also become viewed as hypothetical especially if your changing is fresh in the eyes of those who knew you when….

When we desire to fit in more with people than we want to stand out in Christ, that’s called COMPROMISE! This blocks blessings, growth and potential. I don’t want this to be an option for me. I want ALL God has and deliberately work on fixing those areas in my life that I truly can control including what gets in my spirit through what I watch and what I hear.

We should always be working on our conduct in Christ being distinct. How else will those who don’t know Him get to know Him? We must represent and not become relaxed by having a greater regard for the world than our Savior.

If we as Believers find comfort without conviction with things that the world accepts, finds entertaining and approves of, we may have begun to plateau in our walk. Be separate from them is what God has called us to do!

Again, I am very much still a work in progress in the things of God. I try not to judge the actions of others while staying open to correction when I am out of line in my Christian journey. But I am grateful and recognize the changes that are coming over me that draws me deeper in Him still. This is my stance unapologetically.

In your walk with Christ what’s one big change you’ve noticed that you know you’re not going back to?

Have you endured ridicule over your strides to be more like Your Savior?

How do you handle the conflict with the world and other believers?

hope, Inspiration, Kish Magazine, motivational

K.I.S.H. Magazine – No Way But Up!

Happy Friday RealBoldTruth Readers!

Pray you all are blessed and ready for a wonderful weekend!

Wanted to stop by and share my latest article on the Dreamer’s Blog located on the K.I.S.H. Magazine website!

It’s entitled “No Way But Up!”

I felt the spirit of the Lord leading me to encourage those who are in the trenches of bringing that dream to pass that God put in them but have hit major road blocks.

It’s tempting to get frustrated, throw in the towel and become resentful of the obstacle!

But God!

It’s ok to address our adverse emotions but in a healthy way for when we hit the ground there is truly No Way But Up!

http://kish-magazine.com/no-way-but-up/

God’s still faithful!

Check out the other inspirational articles in this incredible motivational magazine as well.

You can pre-order you next copy which features Pastors Toure Roberts and Sarah Jakes-Roberts. Don’t miss out, printed copies DO sell out fast!

Pre-order at http://www.kish-magazine.com

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday: What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

As weeks create months and months turn into years, decades are formed and reality becomes evident. We are aging and are often faced with “THE” question directly or indirectly; Are we making the most out of the life we have left?

This thought feels irrelevant in our adolescent years when we feel invincible for it appears that there is plenty of time to think on these things later; much later…

Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror and 40, 50, 60,70 and beyond are upon us. Our stark reality is where did the time go and are we living a purposed filled life? You know, the one that God has called us to before we were ever in existence.

If you can say without hesitation that you spend your days doing the thing God put you on this earth for, I certainly commend you! However, if that’s NOT you and you are in those age categories I mentioned above, What’s Holding You Back?

The level of true purpose I am alluding to has nothing to do with that job you slave at every day to earn a living. You can confirm that this statement is true if you feel that something is missing and deep inside, you’re unfulfilled. I’m talking about your primary reason for being. You gift, your talent, that business idea, that ministry, that book, that masterpiece that only YOU can deliver and birth to the world. 

It’s that thing you have been seeing repetitively in visions or dreams. That idea that gives you chills when you ponder on it but quickly dismiss with a plethora of old and tired excuses..

That hurt

That shame

That lack of confidence 

That comparison to others

That envy of your Brother

That previous failure

That finger pointing and blaming

That lack of Faith in your Lord and Savior 

For many reading this, What’s REALLY holding you back from embracing your destiny is directly connected to a matter you have not officially dealt with in your past. If you don’t face it, you will end up like countless others; leaving this earth and taking what should have been shared with the world with you. Now that’s really selfish! RealBoldTruth!

I recently had to deal with an extremely painful area of my life that I have been suppressing for several decades. I really thought I had it under control especially as of lates. I’ve discovered who I am in Christ, learned how to look to Him and trust Him more, have been in constant fellowship to assure I don’t go back to old ways of thinking and I’ve been serving and giving faithfully in ministry. Yet this soul striping thing keeps coming up and I grew sick of it! I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still struggling with something that should be so old but knew it was the source of what has been holding me back from all God truly has for me.

I was recently put in a setting and was given the option to become vulnerable and transparent about this thing and my flesh felt reservations. However my spirit prevailed by telling me it’s now or never!

I ultimately shared a very private battle with the most unlikely person and found out she had struggled with the very same thing! I was in complete shock for she seemed to have it all together. She gave me a name for “my thing” and it’s called “Rejection ” she shared with me some tools and specific word that I started using right away and a release I experienced almost instantly!

Initially I was so very uncomfortable being this exposed but it has been way past time to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil!” I want my freedom more than my security of holding on to this dead stinky thing that clearly robs me of so many possibilities!

I challenge you today to think on these things. What have you NOT faced, NOT confessed, NOT healed from, buried alive kicking and screaming that will NOT die? It’s the very thing that is stopping you from spending more energy cultivating you “Gift” than dwelling on what won’t change. 

God has so much more for you but you’ll never experience the totality of His blessings if you don’t give this thing up! Stop lying, to yourself, and listening to the voice of the enemy more than the voice of the Lord! 

Do it NOW, before YOU and IT simply become a memory.

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Kish Magazine

Kish Magazine – The Uncontainable God

Hello RBT Readers! I pray this post finds you all well in mind, body and spirit. My articles have been infrequent lately due to a very demanding schedule which includes starting a new job, BUT GOD!

He remains faithful, ever present and renews my strength from day to day! I recognize this and know if it was not for His hand consistently moving in my life, I simply would not be able to sustain!

Speaking of recognizing, someone needs to be reminded today just how incredibly BIG your Heavenly Father is. He’s quite uncontainable!!

This month I wrote a very short yet powerful article for KISH Magazine on this very matter. Please do check it out. It will take you 5 minutes to read but may serve as the ministry source to get your faith moving in the right direction again.

http://kish-magazine.com/the-uncontainable-god/

If your experience today is an impasse or you are growing faint, be reminded of your position and who your Daddy is!!

KISH Magazine is an inspiration Christian Publication that is distributed all across the country quarterly. The website is consistently update with soul stirring articles, testimonies and features of new authors. RBT ministries has a column that also features new material every month. Check out and share the content at:

http://www.kish-magazine.com

Blessings and be encouraged!

Forgiveness, Inspiration, STFWO

STFWO – Talk Show – Forgiveness

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Hi there The RLRT readers.  At the beginning of this month I had an incredible opportunity to be a guest speaker on my Church’s Monthly internet talk show program.  It’s called Straight Talk for Women Only.  I spoke about my testimony concerning my “Job-Like” experience that I wrote about in my  2/28/2016 Soulful Sunday Blog. (Soulful Sunday – 2/28/2016)

 

I will be writing more intimately on the experience in articles to come. Thought I would share the talk show link with you.  It’s a little under an hour long and I don’t really get warmed up until about 6-7 minutes in ! My first time doing something like this because I am typically very quiet and more introverted naturally, but God is apparently calling me out!!  If you have an opportunity to view let me know your thoughts.

 

Although this is a talk show for women, anyone can relate to this subject concerning Forgiveness.  If you are disappointed in yourself, can’t seem to get past an offense that someone subjected you to or can even admit that you are mad at God, this could be what you need to hear. Blessings always and I so appreciate your readership support.

Related Articles:  Forgive God    Being Mad At God

Victory Christian Fellowship – Straight Talk for Women Only is a monthly internet talk show that airs the 1st Thursday of every month.  For more information  and show archives, visit http://www.straighttalkforwomenonly.com.

 

 

#Jesus  #forgiveness  #madatgod

Inspiration, motivational, reflection, Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness

Hey Boss, I Quit!!

Less than a year ago I was offered what I thought was an opportunity of a life time! A job earning more money than I had ever imagined, the distance was 10 minutes away from my home, and I could even telecommute periodically. It was a promotional opportunity and when I applied I did not think I completely qualified. I took a step out on what I thought was faith. Six interviews with 13 people later I, yes I, was selected as the final candidate!

 

I couldn’t believe it and praised God for the increase! I was really nervous about starting and hoped that I had the ability as a professional to excel in my new role. I had experienced much success in countless others, this one just seemed to make sense as the next career stepping stone on my way to the top.

 

Approximately 7 months later I found myself resigning from the job I thought was going to put my career on the map and I was absolutely devastated! I endured a tremendous set of unusual trials beginning a little more than a month into the position.  Ultimately, I crumbled under the pressure. My health, both physical and mental were being grossly affected. I was disappointed beyond description in myself and thought the enemy had won! Certainly I had failed and now it was over before it truly got started….

 

 

After consulting God about the ordeal, He revealed why I was subjected to such overwhelming insults in my workplace. I learned that I have been incredibly stubborn in my pursuit for success, have been operating in my own self-defined purpose without His consent, and have been grossly neglecting the gifts He has placed in my life. What a tremendous eye opener, harsh reality and a lesson long over due that I had to learn!

 
You see, for years I have been chasing dollars and trading my life in to the highest bidder. This has been because I truly lacked faith in God that He is capable of supplying all my needs which far exceeds monetary provision in a paycheck. Since I have never experienced increase any other way besides earnings from a job, I literally convinced myself that the only way to experience the God of “More Than Enough” (2nd Corinthians 9:8)  was by heavy pursuit of the next big promotion in title, statute and theory. I couldn’t see it any other way but Faith doesn’t operate by what Chanel could SEE! REAL self TALK!

It was clear very early on in my new position that this was not God’s will for my life. But I ignored the signs which were many!!! Initially I chalked up the controversy I was facing as the enemy trying to steal my blessing. I began to pray for my co-workers, leadership and external partners thinking that was the key to turning the fast sinking ship around. My so called spiritual logic was so far from the truth and was my WILL and not the WILL of my Heavenly Father.

 

 

I began seeing my husband, children and friends as thorns in my life because they wanted me after work and I simply could not produce the best me for them because I was stressed and exhausted! That’s when my health became seriously affected.

 

 (Mommy/Daddy, Stop working and come play with me!)

 

After extended time away from my hostile work environment, God showed me that the thorns in my life were really the job! The roses were those significant relationships I was half giving myself too. Repentance was necessary! No job or amount of money is worth their sacrifice nor mine! Never Again!

 

I finally accepted that it wasn’t me, due to the high turn over not only in the role I was in but in the office overall. (They couldn’t keep staff and leadership failed to look in the mirror!) Acceptance did not come easy but it did at a cost!

 

 

Are you holding on to a job that is robbing you from God’s best?  Are you struggling in your level of faith to believe that if you let go of this thing that you think you need that you will suffer lack?

 

This is not for everyone and I am certainly not suggesting or promoting a campaign for people to walk out on their jobs!  All things in due season and with wisdom.  This is the first time I ever walked away from a job without a concrete back up plan.  But I knew without question that I was hearing from the Lord!

 

If your stress level is through the roof resulting in change in temperament, sleep, eating habits and you are struggling to be present for the true important matters in your life, I encourage you to seek God and analyze if you are trying to remain in control because you don’t trust that HE will deliver. (Proverbs 3:5)

 

For me, I have suffered zero lack and have actually experienced abundance beyond my imagination since I let go and truly started trusting God with my provision. My confirmation that this entire things was and is HIM! My faith today is through the roof that as long as I keep my confidence in words, deed and action that my Heavenly Father is taking care of me, I shall never want for nothing! (Philippians 4:19) 

  
#quityourjob  #ihatemyjob  #lovelife  #Godourprovider #Jesus #mypurpose

Inspiration, motivational, reflection, Relationships, Spiritual Awareness

Love Conditions

Conditional Love

I have lived on this earth long enough and have survived enough trials to confidently declare that the human heart needs what it needs. As a result, and like a wounded child acting out in a tantrum, the heart won’t stop bleeding and crying out until it is fulfilled.   Depending on the situation connected to the yearning, this silent fret may unfortunately be a life- long muted experience for many.

Human beings need to be loved.  I don’t declare this as if it is news but just restating its fact.  But there are different degrees of love that are extended to us that cannot be duplicated by any other source.  The love a child gives its mother is not the same as the love given by her husband.  Just as the love provided by a true friend cannot be substituted by that extended by a parent.  This can be validated when considering a man successful in his trade, wealthy in his accounts, healthy in his status, and plentiful in friends, family and business relationships. He appears to have it all.  But in the midnight hour and when no one is watching he must deal with that hollow area in his heart that desires a companion. Nothing else in his life will satisfy this longing so his heart will bleed.  Or what about that woman who has the most loving husband, the house, the cars, the career and the reputation that most would envy.  Yet her wound is barren and she can’t conceive.  Her longing for a child has been denied so her heart aches and bleeds in the very same way.  There is no substitute that will completely end this painful flow from the heart but the thing it desires; WITH CONDITIONS .  Time can and will be spent attempting to substitute the void but nothing ever truly satisfies.

It has been nearly three weeks since my biological father left this earth.  I am experiencing varying degrees of grief that have surprised me. I resent that I miss what I never had that only he could provide.  There was never any substitute for me.   During my second day out on bereavement leading up to his funeral, I spent several hours alone and I cried out to the Lord probably like I have never.  I asked one question repeatedly, “Why didn’t my father love me?” God responded to me in my dream after crying myself to sleep, “Chanel, he did, just not by your definition.” With the inquisitive mind that I have I had to analyze this answer.  How was I expecting my father to love me?  All I wanted was for him to be Present, to Provide and to Protect. That wasn’t too much to ask or was it? It should have been a natural fraternal instinct but it wasn’t for my father and I didn’t get that.

I put conditions on his love towards me.  As a result I could not see what love he was either able or willing to provide.  I wanted love on my own terms and what he was offering simply wasn’t good enough then and honestly it would not be now if he were still alive.  I am human and that’s Real Talk! Love by his definition did not stop the bleeding of my heart or fill that void only he as a father could.  I felt I deserved more and stopped talking to him for periods at a time as a result.  I have heard my father utter that he loved me many times throughout my life. But since his actions did not line up with my expectations I took his words as lip service and lies.  God showed me on that day that my father was not ever capable of loving me the way that I wanted him to. That’s just not how he was made up. This has been the sole source of discord in our relationship and it took his death for me to finally get clarity. I am forever grateful for the resolve.

Because we are human we have hopes of those significant relationships in our lives. When we get them we have expectations.  We feel that certain people should automatically treat us a in a guaranteed way.   These hopes come with outlined conditions and if we don’t get what we want we will react.

For those empty hearts that may never be filled with what we think we need or want, God is there unconditionally.  He never proposes prerequisites like we do and loves us all the time in spite of our ways.   Hallalujah! That is really good news!  Can you imagine if God loved us in the same fashion as we do others?  The human race would be lost for sure!

Although it is part of the human spirit to long for people to treat and love us in certain ways we need to consider reason and if we are putting unrealistic expectations on what we know is imperfect.  Then give reverence to the all mighty God who is the ultimate definition of Love.  He is really the only one qualified to satisfy those voids we try desperately to fill in our hearts.

Is there someone in your life that you are at odds with because they are not loving you as you wish they would?

If so what is your definition of love and is it reasonable?

Can you still find a way to respect and honor that person regardless?

In your answering of these questions, ask God to help you see these people through his eyes and thank him for loving you just as you are; totally  free of limits ; totally free of conditions.

Inspiration, Relationships, Self Empowerment, Spiritual Awareness

When its time to Let Go

Letting-Go-Quotes-28

Have you ever remained in a toxic relationship because you felt you had to? You knew it was unhealthy.  All the signs were there.  In fact, nearly every time you were in the presence of  a certain person confirmation constantly warned you.  You knew it was unhealthy and more than likely would never improve.  However, the expectations of others coupled by your own guilt and people pleasing ways, you continue to endure.  The hurt, backstabbing, selfishness, conditional love, inconsistencies and lack of give and take; you accept it all, every time. Its all you have ever done and all you have ever known.   You are the only one in the relationship truly trying and all for the sake of what’s expected.  It’s a very heavy facade to bear long term.  Exposed you appear strong, handling it well, smile and laugh on cue because others are certainly watching and judging.  But behind closed doors you cry, ache, pray and long for change.  For waiting for change is easier than considering the inevitable…Letting go.

I think we all experience situations like this at some point in our lives.  Seasonal people come and go whether we release them or they walk away on their own.  Accepting the process is easier with some people than others.  Sometimes we recognize right away the unnecessary chaos a person is causing in our lives.  The “Good Byes and Good Riddance” comes effortlessly.  But what if this painful situation involves a loved one.  A person you are connected to by D.N.A. 1st line blood born relation.  What do you do then?

I have had to withstand this unfortunately a few times in my life. Not because I wanted to but because I had to.  One situation involved my biological father.  A man who walked out of my life as a toddler and remained excessively inconsistent for years.  Out of my desperation of wanting to be “Daddy’s Little Girl” I chased after him in an effort to win his approval, affection and adoration.  This failed pursuit lasted for nearly two decades.  If I did not chase he would not bother.  His words said that he loved me but his actions more than proved otherwise.  Letting go was not easy by far.  I was going to make him love and treat me the way I thought I deserved as his daughter.  That was my will and far from his.  After much hurt, countless tears, severe rejection and lack of support I finally let go.  It wasn’t until my heart lined up with my spirit that peace in the decision took over me. Today, its been nearly 4 years and I continue to experience a calm with this matter that has been priceless.  It is well with my soul for I am certain that I have done all I can. This type of serenity I only wish I had awarded myself in half the time versus 20 years.  But feeling obligated by the urging of others (But That’s Your Father!) and the little wounded girl within me still longing for his approval, I suffered longer than I ever had to.  I pray and wish nothing but the best for my Father, for he has missed out on the ultimate prize; the evolution of ME:-)

Unhealthy relationships can tear down the human spirit and cause one to lose focus on God’s infinite purpose for their life. Along the way depression, self loathing and a crushed esteem can be the ultimate result of staying in unprofitable relationships long term.  We get so stuck on a person’s title in our lives that we feel that we can do nothing but actively deal with it.  Just because someone is your Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle or Cousin gives them no right to wreck havoc in your life.  If these people are not working with you to improve the relationship in a give and take fashion a decision needs to be made to let them go.

The only obligation you have is towards yourself.  If you don’t take care of you certainly no one else will.  That’s a stark and painful reality when you consider family members for it is not politically correct to sever a relationship with certain people.  Right? Well I’m no politician by far and dare to go against the grain!

If a person continues to cause you pain, let them go!  if they are not working towards improving themselves or acknowledge their wrong doing in the relationship, let them go!  If they have continuously shown that they are envious, spiteful, un-supportive, critical  and simply don’t have your best interest at heart, LET THEM GO!  This may be scary but depending on the person, this may not be permanent.  Once they see how far away they have pushed you, they may come back around.  But in your letting go, have no expectations for this will only lead to more of a broken heart.

If you are reading this, can relate and are considering a situation like this in your life, ask yourself “What am I truly holding on to?” As painful as it may be, loosen up your grips, close your eyes, open your hands and let go.  Without guilt, without regret, without fear, heal and be free…..

“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life” – Sandi Lynn

Spiritual Awareness

A Meaningful Existence

48273-meaningful-life

I woke up this morning with the emotion of offense rushing through my spirit.  I am not a morning person by nature so this added sensation just agitated my already adverse demeanor.  I couldn’t shake it but I had to keep it under wraps before I geared my feelings towards my precious baby boy.  He is a complete handful in the morning and I often have to concentrate really hard on my reactions while getting him ready.  I don’t want to take my feelings out on him; for what I do daily IS mostly for him.

I am not 100% sure if I feel this way because I despise what I do for a living or I am frustrated with the challenging process of trying to turn what matters to me into something of value.  Maybe its a combination of the two.   This is the primary cause of my nasty disposition. How do I make the transition without suffering lack? I hate to admit that this alone is my greatest apprehension.  Balancing the use of wisdom while resisting fear can be a complex matter at times. This is one of them….

The clock goes off around 5:30 am and I intentionally take my time getting out the door.  If I rush while getting myself and my son together, that added stress would cause responses that I would regret.  I will get there when I get there! I am usually out the door around 7:15 am (or so).  I drop my son off at day-care, travel 60 minutes on the highway to my employer, then work an additional 8.5 hours doing duties that I completely loathe.  One additional hour back home and I have literally traded 10.5 hours of my life for a paycheck.  It sucks!  I mean really sucks!  To add insult to injury, while in the mirror this morning I noticed several new strands of silvery greys that I know were not there a week ago.  I am getting older.  Can’t afford to keep going on like this.  SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE!

I often find myself apologizing to God.  Ungratefulness is not my intent.  I make a very decent salary with excellent benefits.  There are a million people that would love to be in my position.  That’s where my guilt comes in.  I distinctly prayed for this position and now that I have it, I don’t want it.  It doesn’t fulfill my spirit and is far from my life’s greatest work.  I need to do something more meaningful and I hate spending so much of my time so far outside of my purpose.  I am working towards refining my gifts but bearing its fruit is a process; In the meantime I must survive……  This brick wall is the fuel that keeps me going even if my efforts don’t look like they are paying off.  Enough climbing latters and going after that next big position.  I have had enough of the Corporate America games.  I need life on my own terms.

I know that I am not alone.  I extend these sentiments to those who are not simply wishing for change but are operating in faith and working towards the same.  We were not designed to function in uselessness.  Our greatest life work should not be solely for a check.  We should be incorporating our gifts to benefit the lives of others.  That’s why we are here on earth. Until this happens, I am convinced that peace will never soothe the restless soul of the ambitious.

Staying in faith means remaining committed to knowing that God is directing my path.  My efforts are not in vain and while I am doing my part in the natural he is working out my end in the SUPERnatural.  Patience must be practiced along with consistent prayer.  Neither is an option less I’m labeled a hypocrite.

To my Lord: Give me the fortitude to endure while my weary body sacrifice’s time to develop my gifts which you said will make room for me. (Proverbs 18:16) In my waiting, I seek no reward, recognition, or empowerment from none other than you.  This is my fervent prayer.

To my readers: can you relate?  What are you doing today to change your tomorrow?  Whatever it is, don’t lose site in the challenges that will surface during the course.  If you are confident that you are on the right track, join me in minimizing earthly disturbances by keeping your mind on your heavenly father. Any other choice will jeopardize the revelation of true destiny. I think we have delayed matters long enough, it’s time to live a meaningful existence………..