Tag: guilt

Soulful Sunday – Condemnation & Conviction- The Difference

Since we all live in flesh, that fact alone guarantees that each one of us will make decisions and do things contrary to the word of God. It’s just human nature and practically unavoidable at times.

As we grow spiritually, we do get stronger at avoiding the traps of temptation, but we all will still fall short periodically. During this process, others will judge our lives, question our salvation, and criticize our character. Unfortunately, this too comes with the territory and takes a daily spiritual fight to advance in our Christ-like positions.

As we journey, it’s critical to assure we are not handling the mistakes we will sometimes make using the wrong tactics and state-of-mind.

Sometimes, believers can confuse operating in condemnation vs. conviction. There are stark differences between the two that we must keep in the front of our minds.

When we condemn ourselves after making a mistake, we have issued a personal charge to an extended period of mental punishment, blame and rebuke. Condemnation is a tactic from the enemy to make us feel bad indefinitely, walk In unforgiveness towards ourselves and try to make us feel like we are no longer worthy of all that God has for us.

Conviction is rather a gentle “Check” in our spirits from The Lord to aid us in not finding comfort in behavior that doesn’t reflect His Character. We should never beat ourselves up at this nudge but rather take note and work at making corrections in our conduct so that we can continue to grow in Him.

Are you downcast today because of something you did or said to another?

Are you torturing yourself mentally and not feeling deserving of God’s love?

Are you allowing the slurs of others who witnessed what you did wrong to stop your hand and heart from praising our Savior?

Let me encourage you today to know that you’re not the only one! I know what occurred felt unfixable but that’s a lie from Hell and a way to keep you from the comfort of God’s arms. His grace and His mercy are still for you! Stop mentally bashing yourself with condemnation but rather accept the conviction and move on with God! He’s still and always will be for you! That settles it!

Until Next Time,

Happy Sunday

Sins of a Female Saint – Part II

This post concludes my testimony of my darkest secret; my deepest pain. Click here for Part I 
http://therealliferealtalk.com/2016/10/19/sins-of-a-female-saint-part-1
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I didn’t think I deserved it. After what I did the first time around certainly I will never be worthy again. 

As a believer, I failed miserably! Not keeping promises I made to myself, my 1st spouse and most of all to God. I’ll live the rest of my days and find a way to accept the errors of my ways, conceal my deepest secret and try to get back to being a good Christian; someway and somehow….

But as days turned into weeks, months into years, I battled with chronic depression and insurmountable soul crushing guilt. Like Adam and Eve in the garden after their disobedience, so did I try to hide from God.

Yes I came back to Him and repented for how I contributed to the breakdown in my 1st marriage, but there was so much more spiritually to deal with and I didn’t know how to start. So instead, I suppressed and buried that stinkin thing alive still screaming to breath and heal under mounds of emotional debris. That’s where it shall remain and no one will ever know how much I hurt. It will have to die eventually….

But 8 years later, it’s still screaming. In fact, sounds louder than ever before. Im now scrambling for more creative ways to stifle the noise. But the difficulty is even more complex. I initiated the divorce for matters were truly irreconcilable. Thereafter, my love, affection and adoration for the one I fell for has gotten deeper and now I carry his child. After 22 years of being barren, I conceived with the man I committed adultery with.

I know him more intimately than I ever knew my ex-husband. The good, the bad and the very ugly! We didn’t come into each other’s lives unscathed of life’s scars. We both were extremely broken as individuals; struggling both mentally and spiritually. Yet we clung to one another in the best friendship I have ever experienced. Our souls over the years are bonded and completely tied together. 

After a year of staying away from my love, he returned and asked for my hand. How dare I try this again and try to make it holy especially considering the way we started….

The attraction is just as magnetic as day one nearly 9 years prior. The adoration so much deeper and a beautiful child born between us. How could this natural messy situation ever be made right?

This feels hypocritical beyond description! Would God bless us, can I really be happy, and what consequences will we face individually and collectively? 

Despite all these natural questions, we stepped out on faith after 10 months of Godly counsel and married. 

Two years later, it has not been without challenges. On top of the normal circumstances that most married couples face, without spoken words we still look at each other and silently wonder, “Will you do the same to me?”

Despite our flaws, we hold on to our family, our faith and our God who healed what we thought was unhealable.

We are both being set free and elevating in ministry. Turning what the enemy intended for evil into good. I’ve grown so much spiritually. More concrete in faith, knowledge and the power of God than I ever was a decade ago. The test and trial was excessively painful and I lost a lot. But he restoreth my soul and Great is thy faithfulness!!

Finally I can breath! Without guilt, condemnation and shame. My fervent prayer is that someone facing similar circumstances be encouraged by my journey and make some healthy decisions. My Realboldtruth is indeed my testimony!