Tag: anxiety

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – P.P.P.

This weekend, I had a wonderful opportunity to minister on a panel of three women at an annual empowerment conference. The theme of the event was entitled “Its Time To GIFT Yourself Away!”

As a believer, when that statement is pondered on alone, it’s nothing short of deeply powerful and thought provoking!

I was commissioned to facilitate the panel discussion that had an audience of nearly 150 attendees. It was also being audio recorded. I was simply honored to do this for a ministry that has completely changed my life. I give credit for my maturing experience spiritually to this platform fully equipped with a visionary and leader of great integrity!

As I prepared for the conference, I sought the Lord for instruction on what He would have me and the ladies share with the people. We had to elaborate on how each one of us have been able to step into and operate in “The Gifts” that God put in us.

I’ve been blessed over the past 3 years to identify my natural born gift as a writer. Then God filled my life with mentors who have pulled associated talents out of me that I didn’t know were there! Speaking, internet radio, television and becoming a columnist for a Christian Magazine. Within the next few months I will finally be able to add published author to these accolades. It’s all for the glory of God and nothing I saw coming my way just a few short years ago.

Personally, operating effectively in “The Gifts” was a process I call The PPP – Painful Purposeful Purging. Had I not challenged myself to stay the course through my PPP, I certainly would not be doing what I’m doing today!

I want to share what has been involved in PPP for me as I have experienced it. Prior to discovering my gifts, I was a woman full of low self regard, a sufferer of chronic depression for nearly 30 years, a person easily intimidated by others who I thought were stronger than me and didn’t value my life for I had no clue who I was or aspired to be.

When I became affiliated with The DOE Ministry, I instantly discovered that I was at a spiritual crossroad. The ministry demanded in love that all attendees rise and take their rightful position in the body of Christ.

As I looked around at the other women there, the enemy tried to make me feel that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, that I would never be as effective in ministry as the others, and a whole host of other lies.

I would either return to my comfort zone of despaired isolation or stay the course and go through A Painful Purposeful Purging. This meant, in a nutshell facing ME! Looking myself in the mirror and deal with my damage! I had to visit some very difficult areas from my past that I had stuffed and suppressed. It hurt like nothing ever has but I could not fathom another 30 years of what I had already endured! There HAD to be more!

Like a boxer in a ring, I decided to roll up my spiritual sleeves, put on my gloves and fight for my life! My opponent, an invisible enemy was clearly trying to take me out! The battle was with no one else but myself!

Committed to being Uncomfortable

Being an introvert and not feeling comfortable around people due to deep trust issue, I had to fight my flesh that wanted to flee every circumstance and environment that would force me to grow up and address my weaknesses. I forced myself to show up consistently and stay to the end. This was so painful in the beginning for I would leave with tremendous headaches at times but felt pride that I conquered something that has had me in bondage for years. The more I showed up, the less uncomfortable I became.

Cleansing My Soul

As comfort came, I was now able to address finding out who I am in Christ.

I began to control my thoughts and renew my mind.

I had to forgive and stop blaming others for my circumstances.

I stopped looking back at my past failures and successes and began looking forward to a future with possibilities!

Most importantly, I started understanding the Spirit of Adoption to deal with my rooted issues of rejection.

My PPP has taken 4 years and is still being refined. I have scaled away layers upon layers of mental mess that has kept me crippled in the Spirt. What is now exposed are my “Gifts” that I can flow in more freely due to heavy weights being lifted. I won in Christ with a major T.K.O.!

For someone reading this, you MUST go through your own person PPP. It will NOT be easy and does not happen overnight. However if you fight hard and long enough, a life is waiting for you filled with abundance! There are also others who desperately need what God put in you!

While you still have time, life and chances, gear up for the purge and start to Gift Yourself Away.

Until next Time, Happy Sunday

Soulful Sunday

Not Yet Delivered

I gave my life to Christ well over 20 years ago. I distinctly recall standing before a pastor, congregation and a small fleet of deacons at a modest baptist church. I willingly repeated the prayer of salvation and thought finally, I had it all together! The moment felt like a cleansing, a renewal, a refreshing as I asked the Lord to reside within my heart permanently. 

I also remember leaving that place of worship that day the happiest I had ever been! But within days I experienced an incredible, deep, emotional low that seemed to threaten my committed confession to God. I remember asking myself, if I am now saved, why do I still feel so heavy, so worthless, so unwanted, so undeserving, so un-Christ-like? This mental contradiction would actually linger on for nearly two decades thereafter.

Periodically, throughout my Christian experience, I would hear the expression “Deliverance”. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what the term truly meant. As I struggled long-term with overwhelming bouts of depression, low self regard and thoughts of destruction, I wasn’t able to make the connection and often questioned God’s love for me. I was actually saved but not yet delivered.

Not Yet:

Delivered from ill thoughts

Delivered from fleshly struggles

Delivered from seeking value in man

Delivered from wanting things more than God Himself…..

Fast forward to today, I am completely filled, set free and and over the tormenting mindset of my past that has tried to limit and silence me. After giving my life to God, I didn’t know that to reach the position of freedom, I had to go through a deliverance process. That route for me meant getting consistent Word that counter-reacted my automatic state of mind. I had to reprogram every single thought, shift destructive behavior patterns and clean out my circle! In doing this, I had to become incredibly vulnerable by taking a chance with complete strangers. I let them into into my dark and guarded spaces. My secrets, my mistakes, my pain, my shame….. I had to commit to showing up regularly to places where help and mentorship was available no matter how uncomfortable I felt. 

My flesh fought me long and hard in these areas but my spirit won for I wanted and needed to be free! I took the risk because life certainly had to get better than what I was experiencing. I wanted, needed and desired more of God. 

The God of More than enough. 

The God that has plans for me.

The God that would use me to assist in delivering others.

The God known as my Abba Father.

The God that really, truly loves me.


Are you a believer today still stuck in many ways, habits and thought processes that sent you to the alter giving your life to Christ in the first place? If so, the answer to move past this paralyzingly norm is to get DELIVERED! 

At minimum, you need The Word of God specific to your issues. You need mentorship from those who have been in your shoes to help pull you through. You need a committed prayer life to hear the voice of the living God. 

Deliverance is a serious process and won’t happen over night. You will have to be willing, patient, vulnerable and fight your flesh harder than you ever have before! It took me over two years to totally be free of over 30 years of all I’ve ever known in thought and deed. Every step was completely worth it! I’m so grateful and I’ll never go back! 

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

 

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Alive in A Dead Place

This time last year, I was loosing my grip on a job that I initially thought was a tremendous blessing. Within 6 months of accepting the position, I had to make a painful choice to resign for the sake of my health. The entire process was painful and a new experience for me. It was also incredibly offensive and I was left devastated. I thought I lost it all.

Within 30 days of resigning, God opened a door to new employment satisfy my provisional needs. Now nearly 11 months in, I’ve discovered that I am in the midst of dry land; a dead place. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful without question! But I am also extremely progressive minded, seek and pursue higher opportunities and am wired to reach for more. I never find comfort with glass ceilings and mediocre states. The ability to advance, learn and grow are simply not present. I’m content with the way things are for the moment but when I consider and plan my future, I know this can’t be it…

I also have recognized that I truly am in the right type of job for what God has me currently doing outside of work. I have unlimited flexibility to function in my creative space and have accomplished much in this time! Yes, I’m grateful!

Subsequently, I have noticed that my co-workers often come to me for encouragement and I gladly give it! I have led at least one to The Lord, have prayed for and with several, and have offered advice to another who was going through a very difficult family time. I tried to take matters further by seeking ways to start a prayer group and have submitted encouraging articles to be featured on the company’s intranet website. (Free from too many Godly specifics of course!) Both requests have been rejected or have fallen on death ears so far…
I am at peace never-the-less while I wait for the next move of God and I’ll continue to seek ways to serve as a light in the middle of heavy darkness.

You know you are in a dead place if first you recognize that life is missing! Your uniqueness stands out when you see those around you settle and grow content in status quo. The same old same sickens you, makes you uncomfortable and you feel a strong urge to go against the grain. 

But what do you do when you just can’t get out? That job, that business, that relationship, that Ministry, or that issue you have identified as a lingering problem? God is silent and not allowing change when you pray for it or try to force it. Stop fighting for it’s just not time!

You have a choice to become a complaining wanderer, join the deadness of others by just existing or Take a stand and LIVE!

Choose with me this day to live in that dead place for God has plans! 

He ordered in His Word to Live and Not Die!

He will make a way of escape in due season!

He is a man that cannot lie and will never leave nor forsake!

If you are with me and are unable to leave your current situation, seek peace without compromising or conforming. Finding the balance is indeed tricky but will take spiritual, calculated and committed moves. Talk to the Lord about what your’s should be. If you look deeper, past your understanding, there is purpose in the dry and dead land and it’s all working for your good!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – Filled to Capacity

On this initial day of 2017, I feel incredibly peaceful. A state of wellbeing overdue and welcomed. As I take a moment to simply reflect, the word that sums up the sensation in my heart is “Gratefulness”.

There are many who did not cross over into this New Year and there are more who won’t see another dawning after today. For this not being my fate, I am grateful! I have yet another chance to make the most out of what God has given me. Yes indeed, I am grateful!

Furthermore, I want for nothing! My very essentials are indeed met without question. I have warm shelter. I have my husband by my side. I have thriving children. I have constant employment. I have reliable transportation. I have a few dependable friends. I have loving spiritual support, guidance and counsel. My health is stable, mind, body and spirit. I have family and haven’t lost anyone dear to my heart in a very long time. Although all that I have mentioned are far from perfect, I am thankful to possess them than to be without them. 

Although truly grateful, my Realboldtruth is that 2016 was far from being that manifested, NOTHING held back, Jubilee year for me personally. The prophetic word I heard midway through the year from a well known Pastor was that by Christmas your life will be so much different. My reality is, my life looked pretty much the same on that day. 

Nothing over-the-top, mind blowing, unexpected or larger than life blessing happened last year after I received the revelation of it being a Jubilee season. I was incredibly humbled to have ministered to others on the topic and I began looking and expecting this incredible “thing” to happen for me before the end of December 31, 2016. What I received instead was simply peace. It’s priceless and I don’t take it lightly. For that, I’m grateful..

Even though 2016 did not unfold the way I interpreted the spiritual utterances I have heard, I recognize that I have so much and I’m filled to capacity. On this day, this truly is enough and I thank my Heavenly Father for his grace, his mercy, his protection, his provision and his presence. I have no expectations although I remain in faith for “Greater” but this time free from anxiety. 

How are you feeling this New Year’s Day?
Are you disappointed about what didn’t happen last year?
If so it’s ok and perfectly human but don’t stay in that mindset because we still have a perfect God that is still very much for us.

Lord, I Love you and I trust you. Thank you for allowing me to see another year. I remain optimistic that the best for my life is still yet to come, just in your timing.

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

 Soulful Sunday – My Greatest F.E.A.R!


I sat talking to a friend who shared with me that a woman she knows in her late 30’s lost her life to lymphoma. She left behind a husband and 3 young children. I didn’t know her but the news completely broke my heart. I nearly wept while taking in the details. The thought of her babies waking up calling for her, needing her and looking for her is nothing short of devastation. Her husband longing for her and now faced with the incredible task of doing only what she could. I just don’t want to imagine the depth of it all….

The news chilled me as I watched my 5 year old son play near by. I realized that after waiting 22 years to obtain the title of Mother that a similar fate is indeed my greatest F.E.A.R! I can only pray that my Heavenly Father will allow me to see him through in the natural into adulthood. 

Those who know me understand how driven and intense I can be at times. I’m a goal oriented, future seeking, plan pedaling individual. I find that I am the most content when I am working toward achieving something. Life doesn’t feel lived just by allowing days, weeks and months to go by with no purpose in mind. I do aim to find balance in my quests and am thankful for the few who help me to do just that!

I accredit my current mindset mostly to my past experiences . Now that I finally realize how much of my life I’ve allowed the enemy to steal from me, I’m on a spiritual mission to claim it all back! My life and things I’ve survived cannot be in vain! My story must end with God’s Glory!!

I don’t want to Leave this life prematurely and certainly not before His will in my life is complete. Like everyone else, I’m clueless of the day or the hour when He may call me home. What I do know for sure are the visions into my destiny that are coming from no one else but my Heavenly Father. They are all His, for the images my flesh struggles to perceive. What I am seeing line up with His truths and they shall come to pass!

But none of this without effort on my part! I can shout, nod and agree with the Gospel but if I don’t do my part naturally, I limit His supernatural, predesigned favor on my life!

I MUST write the vision and make it plain!

I MUST seek in order to find!

I MUST trust and not lean on my own thought processes!

I MUST take care of my temple!

All of the above are actions and scripture based. I have control over this if I consistently choose. My life WILL NOT be cut short as long as I do my part and stay focused.

Are you making the most out of everyday you are blessed to see? What actions are you dedicated to working towards to help bring about your expected and desires end? Rest for a while is a requirement but we must all DO something in order to usher in our destinies. It just won’t happen without a fighting effort! Don’t leave this life full of the treasures God sent you here to give away. Doing so would make this F.E.A.R. a gross reality!

Until Next Time, Happy Sunday!

Kish Magazine

Soulful Sunday – Kish Mag Article – Reflections


Happy Happy December Realboldtruth Readers!!! I am especially excited because this is the day that the Lord has made! I am rejoicing and awefully glad in it!

The holiday season is in full affect and upon us! It’s a time of acknowledging the birth of our Savior first and foremost! It also provides opportunities to spend more time with family, friends and loved ones. It’s a time of giving, serving and being grateful for the Lord extending His Grace and Mercy!

I love the Holidays! Lots of parties, gift exchanges, fellowship, trimming the tree and delicious meals! The end of a year is also vital because it offers us chances to Reflect. 

I’m not big on looking back especially if it causes one to become unproductive and stuck on what was lost and could have been. But healthy reflecting that will promote self and life examinations that promote change.

My last article for 2016 that I contributed to Kish Magazine speaks of just that. I wanted to share early in hopes to encourage at least one heart to not be downcast in this season but to seek God for direction.

REFLECTIONS BY CHANEL WALKER-BAILEY

Kish Mag Special Winter Edition – Order Now!
 
Please do read, comment and share! I’m completely humbled that the Lord would use me to pen such an incredible piece to share with the Body of Christ and beyond!
I thank every single one of you for your readership support this year. It’s been a gift that’s simply priceless!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – MOVE!

Making Oppression Vanish Eternally!

I have battled with depression for more than half of my life. Over the past several years, I can confidently share that I have the condition under control. I’ve been more consistently optimistic than downcast and I absolutely give all the credit to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I finally know who I am in Him and that He has called me for such a time as this!

The state of depression, however does not go away for those who suffer. I believe this to be true for most mental health disorders. The condition(s) must be managed daily or being sucked back into that deep, dark, isolated mindset of hopelessness is inevitable. 

For some, management may be defined by being under a doctor’s care with prescription medication. I’ve been there and it wasn’t the formula that worked to fix my pretty little head! Counseling, addressing the root of my sorrow and monitoring my thoughts through the Word of God has proven more effective than anything else for me personally. It work consistently; if I work it!

I distinctly recall one day waking up angry enough to MOVE! I no longer wanted to live my life as some weak believer being an ineffective witness to the power that lies in the sacrifice of Christ. I was certainly sane enough to make the shift on my own and so desperately needing to try something different.

Certainly my existence is no error despite the circumstances of my past!
I began to ask; What if I dared to truly believe that I am of importance and have something great to contribute to this world and the lives of others!

What’s the worst that can happen if I MOVE!
Beyond the thoughts that naturally play in my mind…

Beyond the facts and events of times in my life that I could not control…

Beyond mistakes I have made and some repeatedly….

Beyond the negative critics that judge and look down on me…

Beyond those that have tried to minimize my voice and presence by stepping and looking over me…

What’s the worst that can happen if I MOVE!

Well truth be told, the worst is now that I have embraced the boldness to MOVE, I’ve faced finding myself in unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory! I’ve been stretched, challenged and forced to deal with the pain of my past that I’ve buried kicking and screaming still very much alive! I’ve had to go through the turmoil of reprogramming my own sense of logic and replace all with the mind of Christ. 

The process has been long and excruciating but has set me on a path that I had no idea was close to being mine. It’s called Destiny! I’m walking in blind child-like faith but can’t turn around for there is nothing behind me that I wish to ever return to. I must continue to MOVE!

Are you stuck in a vicious cycle of mental torture which cripples you from living a productive life and moving forward? Have you buried things that you really need to address and kill first in order to embrace the life that you so well deserve?

You do have the power to change your circumstances but you have to MOVE! It will be the fight of your life, won’t be easy and certainly won’t happen overnight! If you purpose to discover the formula that works for you and keep at it daily, I promise that you will one day look in the mirror and actually love the one staring back at you! Ask yourself if you dare to finally take back your spirit, soul, and mind, what’s the worst that can happen?

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – The Pause Button

There is yet another viral epedemic flooding our country called “The Mannequin Challenge” Its all in the name of fun for it participants as they maintain a frozen position while someone is recording the play to some theme appropriate music. Those that I have seen on multiple social media platforms are really creative and have made me truly smile. I think this challenge is a breath of fresh air during such a time of change and uncertainty for our society.

I have been asked recently to participate in the challenge but I kindly turned down the offer. I feel I am already in one spiritually; as if the pause button to my life has been pressed and I’m stuck and going no where fast. I’ve experienced physical and soul realm fatigue after doing all that I can naturally. There are about six weeks remaining in this year and I have to make some life altering decisions in preparation for 2017. Do I remain on this path that magnifies my gift or do I return to the hustle and grind of the corporate life in order to survive. I won’t have the time to do both with consistency so one will have to be abandoned indefinitely…

Either way I’m on pause in a “mannequin” like position. Extremely frustrated because growth, results and moving forward produces drive, energy and a sense of accomplishment in me. I feel I am at my emotional best when I’m forging ahead.

This interruption of sorts contradicts what I’ve been speaking and sharing lately and I’m concerned for the outcome. God are you there? Have you heard my cries? Will you deactivate this motionless standstill in my life for I’m beginning to question my value and worth yet again. I thought I was past this part of simply existing, but here I am again.

Have you ever felt this way or are you here today with me? As believers we sometimes hit these life patches that appear like life is just standing still and we are frozen in a state that’s not our choice. If that’s you, let’s remain encouraged, someway and somehow that our Lord, our God is so completely busy in action on our behalf. He’s behind the sight of what we can see producing the fruit of our labor. He’s already said what He will do so no need for Him to repeat what was already spoken. 

Being anxious profits nothing.

Doubting is the contrary of Faith.

Forcing efforts that interrupt the work of His hands will cause further delays and confusion.

So we stand, on pause and patiently wait on the Lord.

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Soulful Sunday

Soulful Sunday – REVEAL, DEAL, HEAL

This message is not unique by far. It’s been told, preached and written about a million times over. Yet I feel compelled to reiterate today because many of us need to be reminded. The enemy likes snatching the Word from our spirits the instant it is uttered to keep us entrapped in bondage.

The only way to heal from a thing is to reveal it then deal with it! There is no other way! All else is simply avoidance and the rehearsed act of suppression. We may be able to keep symptoms of that pain at bay for a time; but it’s toxicity will spill out into the blood streams of our spirits in very nasty and unexpected ways. This leak ruins relationships, makes us ugly, robs us of blessings and stuns our growth.

REVEAL means to face that thing that you don’t want to talk about. When you do, the memories of it all haunts your soul and brings about tears, fears and more. But once it’s exposed in a healthy way through fellowship and wise counsel it’s power over your life will begin to decrease immediately!

DEAL means that you finally get the courage to fight for your future and your life by declaring and decreeing that there is something greater in you and for you! Therefore you take a stand that this thing will die and die today!

HEAL means that you begin to shed off those layers of hurt, pain, shame and blame and begin to LIVE!! That thing, however it’s defined for you, is a coward and a thief! If you want it to be over, a simple decision needs to be made by only you! Taking back your authority is what you must do to move forward!

REVEAL, DEAL and HEAL is the formula necessary to embrace your destiny and to stop looking back on matters, people and circumstances that you can’t change. They are only mere facts in your life but don’t need to define you indefinitely! Leave them in your past and put your foot down. Get into your rightful position in Christ Jesus and get all that He has for you in THIS life time! Do it while you still have time, still have breath, still have people who look up to you, still have His Grace and Mercy….Answer me this; Aren’t you worth it?

Until next time, happy Sunday!

Inspiration

Storm Positions


Troubles are certain in this life. No one is exempt. Every human life will experience his or her share. There is no escape and the bible is clear on this certainty. 

Someone’s situation may appear better than yours at a given time but don’t be fooled! Those you look upon with a level of envy are just in a different position than you are.

There are stages indeed to the storms of life. Understanding where you are personally is critical in the fight for survival and your testimony on how you made it through. 

There are 4 Storm Positions that we all face at each distinct trial in our lives.

The Arising -is position #1. We are starting to see the system develop. Some stiff winds are blowing, our blue skies are casting over with dark clouds. But a ribbon of sunshine is still visible. We begin feeling the first few drops of precipitation. We may still be able to offer a half smile, a hallelujah, some genuine praise and calling the devil a liar as we begin to pray and seek direction. 

The Eye – We are now smack dead in the middle at this 2nd Position. The totality of this beasty gale has completely exposed itself. The break of day is far beyond our sight. It’s gravely eerie and blinding with darkness. We are now being tossed, sometimes violently by the hale, winds, rain and earth shattering lightening. We can’t see a way out and God appears Job-like silent! This is the tornado, hurricane and tsunami effect of your dellima at its peak! The enemy is busy on your psyche and your faith may become vulnerable if not shaken.

The Dawning – we are still very much in the storm at this 3rd position but a break has come. The sun is peaking through just a bit and clouds are beginning to roll away. You are beginning to see, hear and experience God in the midst. He is beginning to restore and deliver you. The question is, have you arrived at this point with gratitude or operating in offense of what you had to endure?

The Calm – Finally It’s over! Position # 4 presents a plethora of opportunities. Reminders of what we survived are still quite evident. As we clean up the debris of downed wires, broken branches, loosened shingles and shattered glass of our souls, we can reflect on the lessons and begin to heal. Some unfortunately remain stuck on the details and “whys” robbing themselves of fully embracing this position by keep looking backwards.

If you are grateful for how God bought you through, it’s my personal opinion that our most effective testimony may be somewhere between The Dawning and A little ways into The Calm. It’s Fresh, Raw, soul stirring and its totality has been experienced. Any further out may lose its effectiveness for unfortunately, another system is always on the horizon. BUT GOD!

So when you step on the other side of the clearing, seek ways to share your story and don’t wait too long. The enemy lurks continuously and tries to make us forget how God kept us. Especially if our next Storm is greater than the last.

Christ is our shelter, fortress, shield and the ultimate protector.

So weather up with the Word of God and wise counsel if you are still hurting from your experiences. Help someone else who is going through. We are not Storm Survivors for any other reason but for His Glory.