Forgive God

Several months ago I discovered an extremely disheartening fact about my life. Although I did nothing to contribute to the circumstances, the news left me incredibly disturbed. In digesting what had been shared about how I came to be, my emotions ran extremely wild. At first I was shocked and numb, then I was grateful that I had not heard this years earlier. For my fragile and unstable spirit in my adolescent years could have possibly led me to an untimely grave.
Then I shifted to understanding. I felt a heightened level of empathy for those involved and even hoped one day they will find peace in it all. The news also provided real clarity concerning some difficult questions I have bared about my life for countless years. It all makes sense to me now. Finally I know; But left extremely livid with God…

A blog post I wrote earlier this year was entitled “Being Mad at God” To this day I don’t believe enough people will admit to having these sentiments. I am indeed a believer in the Gospel of Christ but I am also a realist which may not alway be a valuable quality. I feel I am doing my relationship with my Savior an injustice if I don’t remain authentic with my feelings. THAT’S REAL TALK! How else can I move forward?

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of sharing my truth with someone who survived a similar fate in life. This woman is a wise pillar of incredible strength. A nurturing motherly figure she is with a sweet and genuine disposition. She is also extremely no-nonsense when it comes to spiritual warfare. A powerful intercessor in prayer and counsel. I was divinely set up to share my pain with her and I was ready.

“You must Forgive God.”, was part of her advice as she prayed for me. In all of my 42 years on this earth I had never heard of such a thing! I’m already Mad at him which I dare not share with a single soul now I have to forgive him? Who am I to have such audacity? It almost sounded like blasphemy; an insult to the High One who does no wrong, EVER! I was left overwhelming perplexed but intrigued at the same time.

I left my counselor feeling renewed but still confused. How do I begin a process that I can’t even relate feeling worthy of? He’s God and nothing he does or allows is error. ! (All things are working for our good. Romans 8:28) Still I needed to consider if there was any validity to the theory.

After a week of digesting my nearly 3 hour mentoring conversation I finally decided to explore the option. I was still feeling some kind of way towards God. I had to do something. I referenced the Internet and Googled the term “Forgive God”. As I suspected, I received very few hits in return. No one is admitting to my experience nor have they written on the topic. I initially felt awful and nearly chalked this matter up as me simply being immature in my Christian Walk. I just need to grow up once and for all. But then I ran across an article on a credible website. It was just what I needed to read!

My anger with God is due to my hurt feelings. In all honesty, I have felt let down, disappointed, betrayed and ill regarded by the one who created me. How can he allow these things to happen to me if he loves me and is in control of all things?

I must deal with these individual emotions and come to grips that God truly cares about my views. If I don’t, my future and others tied to it are in jeopardy. His perfect will is indeed manifesting in my life and all circumstances had to be, even those I have been grossly offended by.

I am learning that the act of “Forgiving God” is not equivalent to that of Flesh & Blood. Human lives WILL DO wrong requiring forgiveness. But since God NEVER wrongs, addressing forgiveness with him must be approached differently.

The adverse emotions that I feel towards him are what the enemy wants in order for me to stay stuck in self pity. The longer I reside in these emotions the longer I delay my destiny that the pain is a direct part of. Like my counselor, my pain is not about me alone. Others are waiting to be free by my testimony. Just as she did for me I must position myself for those in waiting.

Forgiveness is a process which I am still working through. More prayer scripture and faith in the matter is the only prescription I need to finally heal. I’ve tried, but truth is I simply can’t live without God. There is no other way….

(Cut and paste the below links to access the article and theme song. For those who have discretely dealt with this issue, you will be blessed!)

Article –  Will you forgive God?
http://www.charismamag.com/spirit/spiritual-growth/15336-will-you-forgive-god&ei=hMAdUMeAF8nTyAG_loH4Bg&usg=AFQjCNHVwalZDmXZh_CYjUYXa4KsIw76_g
Theme Song –  There is no way I can live without you.

 

8 thoughts on “Forgive God”

    1. I know right! I felt the very same way when I first considered the theory. But it has helped me get unstuck from my offense or feelings of being let down by him. Of course repentance was big thereafter! Lol! I found more articles on the topic written by others who were brave enough to admit. Not for everyone but I would highly recommend analyzing to anyone who is just really mad at God. Thanks for reading!

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  1. I read you words with great interest. I have had a challenging month and l have always tried to be positive and believe everything happens for a reason and is part of a wider plan. Thanks for sharing Insight and giving me something to really think about as l go into a new year with hope for all.

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    1. Hi Cally! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! I hope you knee feels a little better today☺️ So glad you got something out of this post. I’ve been struggling with my emotions especially as of lates because life is just not going my way! Life is tough for sure and sometimes we just don’t understand why God allows certain things. If and when we get too absorbed with trying to figure him out we get mad! Life is really about hIS will vs. our own. I do pray things get better for you soon. In the interim I urge you to talk to him. Tell him you are mad, disappointed, angry and down right pissed if that applies! After that ask him to show you what you should be doing and assess that you are not forcing your own agenda especially if it does not align with his purpose for your life. Be encouraged my friend and I will be tuning in to your blog real soon!💕

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  2. Thank you for stopping by my page and reading this. It brings me so much joy to see others blessed by what I strongly believe God wants me to share. Really tough subjects at times but as I heal it’s my fervent prayer that others will as well. Be blessed my friend💕

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