When The Savior Is Silent
A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to speak at a women’s group at my church. I shared a testimony about an extremely difficult period in my life that I refer to as my “Job-Like Experience.” It lasted nearly three years from late 2007-2011. I lost any and everything important to me back-to-back. The turmoil seemed to come out of no where! One day I was basking in calmness, then the next all hell seemed to break loose simultaneously!
I suffered multiple family deaths, broken relationships, I was going through a divorce, lost my home, suffered an attack on my health that landed me out of a fairly new job shortly thereafter. I found myself for the first time in my life utterly alone. Only my spiritual life remained and even that hung chronically in the balance. I was incredibly broken from the inside out.
Oh, how I wish I could relay that during these trials that I fell down and worshipped God. I did not! I was utterly offended by my circumstances. I cried out to God often but for the longest time, He never responded. I allowed this silence to completely break my faith and instead of saying “Thou He Slay Me, yet will I trust him…(Job 13:15), I walked away from Him for two years and grew angry, bitter and cold.
I don’t believe that everyone is called to a Job-Like experience. We will all suffer in this life-time devastation to all of the areas I mentioned above, but a select few will endure this level of loss concurrently. While I was going through, I knew not a soul who was enduring so much loss. Those who knew what I was facing genuinely offered their sympathy but ran out of things to say as I reported one offense after another. They ultimately turned away from me and thanked God that their own situations did not look any where close to mine.
While Job went through, God was silent for what appeared to be a very long time. Job’s first test is revealed in the scriptures in chapter 1 and God doesn’t speak to Job until chapter 38!!! When I consider real time this delay could possibly be translated into weeks, months or even years!!! Never-the-less, Job never sinned against God.
I’m obviously not Job for I sinned a great deal during my trials. Like his wife, I even though it best at times to curse God and die. (Job 2:9) (Real Talk!) Yet when I look back, he never left me. He ultimately began to speak after a time and I looked up noticing how far from the cross I had strayed. I ultimately fell on my knees, repented and came back to the safety of his arms. Like Job, he restored everything I lost and I was forever changed.
Have you had a time in your life when God grew silent?
How did you respond?
What advice would you give anyone struggling to hear his voice during difficulties and He does not speak?
Although I failed my tests miserably, I certainly don’t wish for a retake in that exam by far! I wouldn’t wish the experience on my worse enemy. It is painful long suffering at it’s finest! I am completely thankful that He never left my side during my disobedience and feel honored to share my experience with others.
Regardless of how we view our circumstances, wether in reverence or disobedience, Christ our Savior is still faithful to see us through, even in deafening silence.
Related articles by The RLRT if you are feeling Mad at God.
http://wp.me/p5yrTv-3T – Forgive God