As a Believer this is the most difficult, complex and controversial article I have ever written. I’m actually a bit nervous as I own these words. What will they say? What will they think? What backlashing label will I receive? Should I even utter a word? Never-the-less, I am compelled for I know that these are some of the same sentiments those in the GLBT community face daily and more. So as brave as many of them have become, so shall I from a Christian perspective as I come to terms with what I have labeled as their process of “Coming In”.
I confess that I have viewed those in the GLBT realm rather harshly as a heterosexual female and Believer in the Gospel of Christ Jesus. My judgement as an imperfect being against another has been the true reflection of hypocrisy. For this I am truly remorseful. I vow to work on this from here on out!
Over the past several months I had the opportunity to be up close and personal with two couples. One, a mixed married male couple who invited my husband and I to their home for a birthday celebration. I initially had reservations because of the unknown. My husband is a childhood friend of one of the men. He has known him for over 30 years but had not seen him in many. His friend has been avoiding school reunions and other gatherings and we can only suspect it’s because of his lifestyle. When they were young, he did not portray himself as a Gay man. The suspicion was there but no one dared to ask. By the end of the night I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of kindness, overwhelming hospitality, conversation and generosity extended to us. I had a fabulous time! There was nothing weird, gross, or disturbing behavior displayed. Most importantly, my husband walked away with closure as he took a moment with his friend to clear the air, asked him to own up to his choices and officially introduce us to his spouse. Even as a middle aged man living Gay for many years, it was evident that the request was both difficult and a tremendous relief all at the same time. To my surprise, I was genuinely happy for the couple and look forward to seeing them again.
The other couple are females. They are very young and facing their beginning years of embracing their sexuality publicly. I have an intimate and binding relationship with one of the them. I have known of her struggle to walk in her truth for years but we have never talked about it due to both distance, time and opportunity. I have also suspected avoidance on both our parts as a culprit as well.
Recently I stole a moment with her. It was time to remove the elephant in the room that has been a hinderance in our relationship. It was time for him to go! At this point in our lives I wanted to create a sense of transparency in order to bring us closer if at all possible. I started the conversation by telling her how proud I am of her accomplishments as a young woman. She has been stellar in academics, has developed a committed work ethic, still dabbles in her creativity and has recently ventured out and secured her own living quarters. She is so personable, funny and loving. I followed by telling her if anything I had to say makes her uncomfortable to simply shut me down! At this point I felt I had a right to address the issue. Her transition is happening before my eyes so why not talk about it since she’s part of my life indefinitely. I only hoped she saw my approach the same way.
I told her that I am not only proud of her life achievements but also her bravery and strength of “Coming In” to her true and authentic self. Anything less has been bondage, suppression, and down right phony for her. She can’t live her life trying to fulfill everyone else’s expectations of who they think she should be. I believe the conversation was embraced and bought on a sense of relief. At least it did for me. I am not one of the most significant in her circle but I am a part never-the-less. I needed her to know that I love her no matter what.
For Christians, I think we must alter our approach when it comes to the GLBT Community. After we share what the word says then provide warning against wrong doing there is nothing left but to give love and PRAY! They are not going anywhere and are making great strides in their fight for acknowledgement and equality. We do ourselves and our Savior an injustice by classifying their way of life as the greatest sin of all. Only he has a right to do that.
Please know that I DO NOT condone the lifestyle. I believe it greatly interrupts God’s plan for his children. According to the word of God in which I believe, it is sin. He calls it an abomination. Noted in both the Old and New Testament, the act does not conform to HIS will for human life. (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27)
Furthermore, neither do I condemn the lifestyle because I have no right as a person who must deal with my own sins as I walk with God. Unforgiveness, revenge seeking, self loathing, looking down on others and not being compassionate enough towards those in need are just to name a few that I have battled with just this week! I have countless issues, THIS IS REAL TALK! I’m not and will never be perfect. I have my own work to do! So do those who continue to judge the GLBT community. None are blameless! The Word is absolutely clear about this as well! (Matthew 7:1-5)
To my brothers and sister in Christ, please consider addressing the GLBT community as you would anyone else. I am certainly NOT talking about the ridiculous concept of “Praying The Gay Away”! it’s not going to happen! Pray for their safety for they are being hunted, harassed and harmed. Pray for their well being for some consider taking their own lives because the struggle of accepting who they are is real! Pray for their health for many are sick. (Not just with HIV & AIDS – Lets remove the stigma that they all are some big walking disease because all of them are not!) Pray for their relationships with family and friends to heal and grow stronger. Pray for those who share our Faith in Christ that they don’t loose sight of who he is in their lives. Finally Pray for their salvation for many believe that God does not want them because of how they live. This is what we Must Do in love. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
To the GLBT community, forgive me, the Church and those who judge you that are far from perfect. I am learning that many of you who don’t flaunt promiscuity or force your choices in the faces of others are some of the most beautiful, loving and giving people ever! You have morals, values and respect very similar to my own. Honestly, I am learning to embrace the GLs but still struggle with the BTs. I just simply don’t get it, but am more willing to take a more sensitive and neutral position again because of my own imperfections.
I no longer view the process of exposing sexuality as a “Coming Out”. It is rather a “Coming In”; to a truth that is so personal and not about anyone else but the person dealing with the matter. Yes others will ultimately have to decide what they will do once you expose, especially if you have been concealing from family and friends. But the first person to accept who you are as a GLBT person is YOU. Be authentic, be sovereign, be secure, be well in mind, body and spirit. Last but not least, “Come In” to knowing that God STILL loves and wants you! No matter what you think or what others tell you. Develop and “Come In” to a personal relationship with him. JUST AS YOU ARE! YOU’RE GOING TO NEED HIM. We all do! He loves all of his children no matter how messy we think we may be. No one is exempt from receiving his love and no one has done anything so terrible that they are not worthy of it. Unlike humans, His love is unconditional! Let go of the insignificant perception of others. People don’t matter when it comes to You and God! Breath; Be you, Be Free, and just “Come In”.
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