The Never’s of My Life

Today is Father’s Day! An unsung day of sorts that we recognize nationally. Kudos to every man who found it not robbery to operate in selflessness for the well being of their offspring. I salute you!

Unfortunately this level of sacrifice I have and will never know. My biological father chose to live his life for himself, denying me of much and contributing to the many “Never’s” early in my fragile existence.

I never had a birthday party.

I never went to summer camp.

I never went to prom.

I never graduated from high school (GED obtained)

I never had a daddy/daughter date.

I was never treated priceless by the opposition sex.

I never went away to college.

I was never Daddy’s little girl.

I was never mommy’s molded angel

I was never mentored as a youth.

I was never anyone’s sacrificial priority to groom, prepare, and pave a decent pathway towards the start of my future. 

I was never unconditionally loved in the natural.

 I have simply stumbled through life becoming excessively used, abused mistreated and ill regarded. One left to figure out the mass complexities of life alone with no direction.  The scars and mistakes have been many. Mostly invisible to the human eye but tattered and torn fragments were left behind on my heart and soul for countless years.

As a result I have struggled with chronic depression and low self esteem for the majority of my life. 

I was never the life of the party

Never had a lot of friends

Never felt socially acceptable 

Never felt comfortable letting others get too close….

Do you hear the violins playing?? So enough of that broken record! It’s old and redundant! I’ve wasted well over two decades wallowing in self pity over this major void.

These are mere facts of my life that have contributed to the way I was shaped in the natural. I can’t spend the rest of my days reliving how painful these memories have been. My Never’s” as of lates paint a completely different picture!

I have come to believe, accept and adopt in my heart the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He is my Heavenly and Abba Father; the only form of provider and protector I have experienced. It’s the only thing I’ve been introduced to that makes sense and is applicable to my entire situation! 

Because of Him the Never’s in my life have been redefined.

I am never alone for He will never leave me.

I will never be without because He supplies all my needs.

I will never look to any man for affirmation because He thought I was to die for.

I will never be without friends for He regards me as just that.

I never have to be concerned about being loved for He loves and accepts me free of conditions.

I never have to worry about my future for He has those plans covered. 

On this day I give praise and credit where it is due. So I say “Happy Father’s Day to my Lord and Savior” ; the only Example of a true Father I have ever known.

27 thoughts on “The Never’s of My Life”

  1. Wow! I believe this is coming from deep somewhere in your heart Chanel. I can relate to this post in very clear term. Those times when friends discus their siblings and family and you are the odd one out.
    I salute your courageous faith and determination to forge ahead despite lack of parental care from father. There is God who is the real father anyway, the natural fathers are simply caretakers.
    Thanks so much for sharing this! God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi D’Dream! This is actually still very much on the surface on my heart vs tucked away deeply. I think every kids who was denied good parental care grows up to functioning adults still pregnant with that wounded child within. Birth never truly happens to the point where the subject at hands doesn’t bother you at all. At least that’s my story. It still hurts but God has been my refuge and fortress helping me to sustain my sanity and to find my value. Don’t know where I’d be otherwise. Thanks for stopping by my friend and my heart goes out to all who can relate. We are all adopted into the family of the most High God!


  2. Wow! Spoken so well and gives such hope to others who may have look down your list of never and realized that God is the answer to all our needs and many of our wants. One thing for sure everything you missed in the natural….God has and will continue to restore back to you in some awesome ways. Joel 2:25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are most welcome! I’m assuming you can relate! If so holding on the the Lord and his promises is all we can do! He truly is enough! Thanks for reading and blessings always๐Ÿ˜Š


    1. Ahhh well I am so glad! Still very painful facts of my life but I know I’m not alone. So glad as an orphan in the natural to be adopted into God’s family. He’s the very reason I have kept my sanity through it all! Love u my sister and blessings always!๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. A truly powerful post. Fathers Day can be a sad day for somebody who never had a father and on days like this, seeing other people with their fathers can make the day even more painful ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Nevertheless, the last nine paragraphs you typed have shown that you have a lot of spiritual strength to move forward in life and that is not an easy thing to do, but you more than accomplish it and that is to be highly applauded ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway, keep up the great work as always ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes John, even in my 40’s this is still a very painful topic because both my parents were barely there for me. The pain never goes away but is managed by my Faith. Otherwise I’d be clear out of my mind considering the things I have been through. Thanks for those words my friend and blessings to you always!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love it! Love it! Chanel, you are the definition of real! I like how you didn’t allow the past never’s of your life define you anymore! God sure deserves a big Father’s day celebration ๐Ÿ˜€ This was really honest and inspiring. God bless you for sharing! โค

    Liked by 1 person

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