Tag: Depression

Inspiration, Parenting, reflection

I Changed My Mind!

Several weeks ago, my 4 year old son fell ill suddenly. I dropped him off at my mother’s home to attend a business meeting that was only to last a little while. Within the hour, I received a call from her and he was crying frantically in the background. What could have possibly happened that quickly, was all I could ask! Swiftly, he developed a fever that knocked his little body out with heat and pain!

As any caring mother would, I left the meeting to tend to my child. I was desperate to nurse him back to health as quickly as possible! He had just started kindergarten and his 5th birthday was two weeks away!

God showed up and the fever broke the following day. He was able to attend school but his personality was different. He was not as playful, smiley or talkative as he usually is. I just made a note to monitor his symptoms and blamed it all on the bug he caught.

The Saturday of that same week, my husband, son and I went to a shopping mall. Isaiah was bouncing around, laughing and returning to himself. I had not seen him like this in several days and was delighted that he was coming around!

When I retrieved him from the car and grabbed his hand, we made our way across the parking lot with my husband several feet ahead of us. My son broke the silence among us and said the most peculiar thing! It nearly made me want to yell out “Hallelujah!” for the entire world to hear!!

Isaiah – “Mommy, I’m not sad no more!”

Mommy – “That’s good baby, I’m glad.”

Brief silence

Isaiah – “Yeah, I just woke up this 

morning and changed my mind!”

I was speechless for a moment! How incredibly mature that mentality is for a 4 year old!! Many adults (including myself) struggle to do this at times! He knew, even at this tender age that he has control over his emotions and chose to be happy! Glory to God! What an incredible eye opener that moment was for me! One that I will not soon forget!




We all have a choice every morning when God blesses us with yet another opportunity to see another dawning. We can choose to operate in a healthy mindset or to be downcast in spirit with a whoa-is-me pity-party. 

Many who are under pressure, enduring sickness, financial strains, relationship chaos, death and other losses can oftentimes grieve and stay negative way too long. For believers, this is the act of taking our eyes off of our Savior and magnifying the circumstances vs. the blessings in and around them.

I think we can all learn an incredible resourceful lesson from my baby boy today. Get up and change your mind! It’s practical advice that can reap priceless returns. There is a time to grieve, be sad, offended and more. The Lord knows and expects us to. It’s absolutely part of being human. But there is also a time to get up and live!

What’s that thing that has you so mentally consumed that you can’t enjoy, appreciate or fathom the beauty that is still in your life? Step on the enemy’s head today and join me in the advice of little Isaiah and simply “Change Your Mind!”

STFWO

Soulful Sunday – Spiritual Warfare with Pastor Mary Cooper

Hi RBT readers and viewers!

As many of you probably can tell if you’ve been reading prior articles, the topic of Spiritual Warfare is near and dear to my spirit!  

http://therealliferealtalk.com/2016/06/07/i-declare-war-4-steps-in-spiritual-warfare

I’ve just discovered this year that as a Believer, clearly understanding what it is, how to identify it and how to battle is critical to winning problems, setbacks, dellimas, issues, challenges, frustrations and beyond in this life! (All that in a single breath!)

I’ve experienced many growing pains as I implement the principles but it’s all good! My flesh shall come under subjection while my spirit man takes its rightful position!

Pastor Mary Cooper is my Spiritual Mother and advisor. I am blessed to be a co-host next to her and Pastor Judy Shipley on our Church’s internet talk show – Straight Talk for Women Only. Last month, Pastor Mary went solo and taught a powerful message on Spiritual Warfare that is life changing!!!

I invite and challenge  you to review this teaching and begin to implement it’s instructions in your walk with God. I promise you will never be the same!

Blessings and Happy Sunday!

Straight Talk for Women only airs the 1st Thursday of every month at 6 pm EST. Access live and archive shows by visiting http://www.stfwo.com.

Sponsored by Victory Christian Fellowship in New Castle Delaware 

Broken, motivational, reflection, self-help

The Redeemer for your Residue

You are completely covered with a thin layer of grime that seems impossible to wash away. Its equivalent to a tough and stubborn hard-water stain with major calcium build-up! It’s sight is as familiar as those glasses in the dish washer that came out looking nearly as they did going in.

It’s slimy

Sticky

Smudging

Blinding

And down right icky 

It’s clean, you convince yourself since it went through the quick rinse cycle so you dry it off, put it on the self, close the cupboard and praise God that it’s at least concealed. Just like those dingy dishes, so is the residue of your past . It just won’t seem to wash away, so you suppress and hide it.

That abuse

That rejection

That divorce

That relationship gone astray

That abortion

That melestation 

That loss

That misfortune 

That affair

That decision you made

That disease that refuses to heal serving as a periodic reminder of who you once were and USE to be…..

So you Advance through the years with your routine surface rinse calling it clean when you know, downright it’s still filthy and riddled with dirt. Don’t you see the cloudy film that remains even after your thorough scrub of prayer, praise and even heart felt worship? It’s still there! You fool many for you appear well put together, in apparel, education, maturity, filled with the Holy Ghost, speaking in tongues, encouraging others and shouting around the church.
You’ve gotten use to the residue. At least it’s not as visible as it use to be. Maybe it won’t ever be 100% clear so the faint excess of its existence is going to have to be good enough.

But your Redeemer who is Christ Jesus, laid his life down just for these messy matters. His precious blood is the only cleansing agent powerful enough to wash that film away once and for all! It was never yours to keep when you gave your life to the Redeemer. What filth remains are just mere facts that occurred in your life and are not meant to define your future or for you to clean up on your own. It’s the enemy who purposely tries to remind you of those lies that your dirt is a permanent stain on your destiny.

Take that mess out of the cabinet and put it back in the washer one more again! This time, put it through the full wash cycle and add in a double dose of antibacterial faith, warfare prayer, confessions, counseling and the matchless word of God!! That residue has no defense against this mental and spiritual dust busting concoction! Enough is enough; it has to go!

Are you a Christian but secretly STILL struggle with the events of your past? 
It’s time to pull it up from the root and REALLY experience freedom! Gods got so much for you but can’t make it come to pass until you are truly set free from those demonic ties that bind.

Christ Jesus is your Savior, your Healer and your Redeemer!

Self Empowerment

Putting on Game Face!

Nearly 8 years ago I was working a part time job as a Health Claims Instructor. I had 18 students in my class and they were more of my life than I initially revealed.

I was going through straight hell and they were the ONLY bright spot in my life at that time. They gave me reason to keep going when I truly wanted to simply lay down and die. I was going through a difficult divorce, got terrible news from the doctor about a chronic medical illness, I lost my house, my finances were in complete shambles, nearly every friend I had at the time walked away and my church family did not provide the support I thought should have been automatic. Depression was deep and I had no reason to want to live less my girls!

As expected, during tough times throughout the program, some would show signs of growing weary by the challenge of working by day, going to school by night and all of life’s demands in between. To add insult to the already injured, The curriculum at this vocational career school was also far from stellar! We all began to discover this fact together mid way throughout our studies. They were beyond offended and I for them as well! Never-the-less, I vowed to stay committed until the end and give them all the knowledge I had obtained in the industry over the years for optimum success.

At times they didn’t understand and I couldn’t let them see that I was silently screaming their same sentiments as I found myself counseling them one-on-one. I couldn’t let them know I was dying inside and commissioned myself to stay strong for their benefit. I lost one or two through out that journey, but those that stayed the course I offered a consistent perspective.

Put on your “Game Face!” I would often encourage. Meaning life is indeed difficult and certainly won’t be easy as you attempt to make positive changes. Even when you are given a raw deal that can’t be changed or you can’t get out of, you must exercise “The Game Face” mentality.  

It’s not always appropriate to wear your emotions on your sleeves all the time or show those around you that you are going through. It’s necessary sometimes in life to endure publicly with the best of attitudes even if that means breaking down to release how you really feel privately just for a time. This builds character, strength, and resilience which are essential characteristic traits valuable in both the corporate world and beyond. 

For Christians, “Game Face” also means it’s time to fight! No I don’t like the circumstances and even question my abilities and the outcome, but no devil is going to knock me out this race!! I’m going to be victorious despite of what it looks like! I’ll position myself and act like a winner even before the victory naturally manifests! 

As it relates to my students, I sustained my personal “Game Face” my entire time with them. It wasn’t until their last official day of class that I opened up about why I stressed operating in the principle. My transparency shocked them for they never knew I was sacrificing how I really felt for their success. As we literally cried together and said our goodbyes on graduation day, I knew these women made an everlasting impact on my life that I will never forget. Even as I penn these words tears fill my eyes. As I was helping them, they were indeed sustaining me!

Me and a few of my precious graduates!

Have you ever had to put on “Game Face” as you endured a complicated life matter?

How did you make it through that period?

Did God show you the lesson that had to be learned during that time?

Maybe you are going through something now and need to put on “Game Face”. It may indeed be difficult but there is victory at the end of the challenge if you don’t give up.

Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness

Would You Turn That Mess Off!!

  
Recently I stumbled across the Blog of a woman who is battling chronic depression. The way she so eloquently expressed the mounting issues she faces daily, reflected my own life easily. It all sounded eerie and so familiar of how I once thought regularly. She claims she is defeated, and without options. My heart and soul connected with her instantly. She has my empathy, sympathy and more. I absolutely commend her for writing about it, for I know this is therapeutic in surviving this mental health issue. She’s a brave soul, But she needs to know she has control if she wants it…..
  
For me, Depression is like watching a 24 hour marathon of the old TV series M.A.S.H! Some of you may remember it well. Back in the 70’s and 80’s this once popular television program flooded many American living rooms at least weekly. I apologize in advance if you were a fan. I just didn’t get it or I probably never gave it a chance. I was so young back then and never found any appreciation for the series by far! As soon as I would hear the theme music, I would cringe, get up and turn the channel immediately!  To me the music sounded depressing! The show may have been good but I couldn’t get past that darn theme song!!!! 

  

When I started experiencing depression very early in my life I could relate to my fellow blogger. I listened to what ever channel was playing in my mind all day. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all, yet I entertained whatever was playing as if I had no options! I won’t, I can’t, I’ll never, no one loves you, you don’t deserve, your father doesn’t care, your mother isn’t there, you will always be poor, you are socially odd and will never have friends, you’re not smart, you are ugly, you are a failure, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda…..TALK ABOUT DEPRESSION!!! All those thoughts were some real M.A.S.H.
  
The above was the M.A.S.H. in my life for 20+ years!!!!  As a result I’ve purposely put myself in danger and have felt suicidal multiple times throughout my youth, young adult years and part of my adult life. All because my mind was stuck on the wrong station!

  

One day I got up mentally, picked up an old rusty pair of pliers, (for those who understand that knob on old model boob tubes!) and changed the re-running channel playing repetitively in my pretty little head! 

  

Those pliers were the Word of God that spoke the complete opposite of what naturally played the moment I woke up! Glory to God, I have a new program I’m completely addicted too!! Don’t get me wrong, clear reception did not happen overnight. I had to put much pressure on the tool to get the knob to actually turn! That station was stubborn! Sometimes I used both hands until I got the first click! 

  

That old M.A.S.H. re-run would always try to come back on, but by applying much purposed resistance through the Word of God, that Stinkin Station finally went off the air!!!!

  

Do you have some M.A.S.H. In you life that has gripped you from experiencing who you REALLY are as defined by God? (1 John 4:4, Galatians 3:26, 1 Peter 2:9-10, 1 Corinthians 3:16, 1 Thessalonians 5:5, These are just a few! Look them up!) You have the power to shut off those negative voices in your head by getting in your rightful position. (2nd Corinthians 5:21 calls you the righteousness of God!) 

  
  

It takes work daily in order to get more positive reception, but the efforts are worth it! At least you don’t have to get up anymore. The pliers have retired! Now we have remote controls and accessing the Word through social media, the Internet and other forms have made these efforts a lot more plentiful and easily accessible! 

   

Kick the enemy out of the DVR in your mind, re-program your mental TV guide and walk into God’s best for your life! You and your destiny are so well worth it!
 

 

Now for those who I’ve offended, here is my peace offering; that M.A.S.H. theme song! Enjoy, if you can! Geesshhh! 😜

Inspiration, motivational, Self Empowerment, self-help, Spiritual Awareness

Not On My Watch

 

The text message both shocked and disturbed me. Not only its content but the person it came from. As I sat at a stop signal after picking up my son from daycare, my phone lit up. I found myself staring at these words “. I would like to speak to you in person or on the phone. It’s about suicide….” For just a moment, I became mentally paralyzed by what I was reading. Initially I didn’t hear my child calling my name to turn on his favorite song nor did I know what color the stop light was now reading. The extended sound of multiple car horns began to ring out in symphony. I had obviously annoyed people behind me because the light was indeed green when I looked up. I returned to existence by throwing my cell phone into the passenger seat, hit the gas pedal forward and reached for the radio dial. I must remain calm….

For the remainder of my ride home I thought about the person whom I’d received the message from. I know her, but I don’t. She hasn’t let me in over the years; and I have tried. I’d taken an interest in wanting to get to know her better for she is a reflection of me 20 years ago. Young, beautiful, intelligent yet awkward, severely misplaced and constantly misunderstood….

As soon as I reached my house and got my son a snack I called this young woman. I reached her voice mail so I left a message. I received this calm and peace that she was physically fine but desperately needed my ear. It was God assuring me not to let my mind run off with the unthinkable simply because she didn’t answer my call. Is she thinking about taking her own life? Is she even capable of such an act? Had life really gotten that bad that she feels this is her only resort? These questions echoed in my mind for the next 2 hour as I got my son settled and handled other routine domestic duties.

By the end of the night my energy level was nearly depleted but I was not going to let the dawn arrive before talking to her. I found a quiet place to have my conversation without forewarning anyone of the situation. This was a precious, private and personal matter that warranted no other intervention but the moving power of the most high.

When I dialed her number she answered on the first couple of rings. After a few minutes of small talk I got right to the matter. What do you have to ask me about suicide? Over the next hour the space I was trying to get to with this young person was made available. She shared with me her deepest pain. Very heavy, very complex very rooted. In her mind permanent rest seemed like her only escape because life just is not getting any better.

I allowed her to spill every account without interruption. For it was evident that she needed it. What she didn’t know, so did I. When I had the chance to speak I shared with her my own painful past which connected the dots she has been having trouble understanding; we have so much in common and are a lot alike. The phone call ended by leading her to the only source that can help her with this battle in her mind; Jesus Christ, The Great I Am. God led me to turn the conversation into a prayer line and that I did. I plead his protection, power and healing all over her life. For she can’t see it now but she’s living her testimony that she must share with others who will soon be facing her same mind set. I urged her to find a reason everyday to keep on going. She is chosen regardless of how displaced she may feel.

After we hung up I texted her a phone number to seek Christian Counseling. Therapy is necessary for the matters she is facing are years in the making and she continues to add weight to those burdens as she experiences new ones. The pressure is becoming to heavy to keep concealed and handle alone.

I learned a couple of lessons after this encounter. One of them confirmed to me that the experienced must help the less than. Maintaining tunnel vision is selfish especially as believers. Our lives are meant to be lived to help others and not just focus on our own agendas. The Movie “War Room”, a Christian film on how to really fight life’s difficulties shows an awesome example of an older woman purposed to help a younger woman. In fact she prayed for the opportunity and for God to send her a specific person. God did just that! When her work was done the Sr. Challenged the Jr. to pay it forward and find someone younger than her to help in the same way. We need more of this for sure today.

The topic of suicide is taboo in our society. We don’t openly speak of it until someone has actually acted out. If you dare mention that you have had the thought you are labeled as weak or suffering from mental illness. I don’t feel that is 100% accurate. I feel it takes an extremely strong and brave person to admit they have been or in fact are there! Life is extremely difficult and when being pressed on every side, waking up and facing the pressures all over again can be more than a challenge. Even The character Job in the bible wished his life to be over when he lost everything that meant anything to him.

Can you admit that you have been where my young friend is? Well I have! If it had not been for the Gospel, I truly would not be here! This is REAL TALK!

If you or someone you know feels like Suicide is the answer, please understand that the difficulties you face are so much bigger than what you can fathom. Your life is about the Will of God and not your own. What you are facing now is your pain to your life’s purpose. You must live it and unfortunately can’t fast forward this part. But stick around to see the goodness of God show himself strong in your life. While you wait, pray, get counseling, find someone who can relate to help pull you through. You will survive this no matter how hard it seems!
As for my friend, I’m committed to being there for her and check in often. I have and I will. She must live and not die, at least not on my watch..