Tag: Inspirational

Inspiration, Relationships, Self Empowerment, Spiritual Awareness

Being Mad At God

Mad at God

While checking the activity of one of my social media accounts, I saw an interesting post that stopped me in my tracks.  It solicited responses to a very simple but thought provoking question. It read, “If you had the opportunity to talk to one person who is no longer on this earth, who would that be and what would you say to them?”  This poll obviously caught the attention of many for there were countless replies to the common thread.  The evident was noted as people wrote out their desires to see, touch and feel loved ones who had pass away.  Mothers, fathers, spouses, friends, children and others were a mutual theme.  Yet as I considered the remarks of numerous strangers to this question, I also noted another trendy response.  Many wished they had the change to talk face-to-face with the Heavenly Father and ask him countless “Why” questions.  Why so much poverty?; Why the premature death?; Why did this thing not work out when I tried my best?; Why did you allow the enemy to win in this situation?; WHERE ARE YOU? These common pleas confirmed in my spirit that there are a lot of people Mad at God.

As a believer, I can relate to these sentiments and have no problem admitting so.  Many of us will not.  Giving off the ongoing façade that they remain in the glory, ever believing, faithful and trusting at all times is perceived as the right thing to do as a mature Christian.  Personally I think this mindset is a completely deceiving testament to those who struggle to understand how God operates in our lives.  If we are not REAL about our experiences, (while we are going through them, and not just after the deliverance), we silently give off a false perception about this walk. Who is that really helping?

I am a realist and a very practical thinker.  As a believer, I see strengths and flaws in these personality traits, but they are who I am none-the-less (And God knows this already for I am his child).  As I pen these words, I myself am going through my own state of mixed emotions with God.   There are sets of circumstances going on in my life that I am just not happy with and I wonder where he is and what he is doing in the midst of it all.  Not proud to admit but in my times of frustration, I stop communicating with him for I don’t know what to say.  This is especially true during those times when I think I have heard from him so clearly, walked out in what I thought I heard and then it does not work out.  What now? I certainly don’t want to hear a bunch of Christian Cliché’s, for they are not resourceful. I don’t want to be around a bunch of fake believers who are not honest about “The going through” process either. Who needs that!  My relationship with God is very personal and has similar ups and downs to when I am having a challenge with my spouse, a friend a co-worker or other significant relationships.  The only difference is no matter how indifferent I become, I always end up back on my knees apologizing, asking for forgiveness and falling right back into his arms. The truth is, no matter how mad I get, the act of coming back to him shows I still trust him with my life; for there is nothing else I choose to do.

For those today who are disappointed or angry with God, let me encourage you to not stay there long.  Sort out your feelings, have your spiritual temper tantrum then remember that he is the God that has your best interest at hand (Even when it doesn’t seem like it!)  Although we are made in his image, He does not think like us, he does not move like us, and he certainly does not react like us. Thank Goodness! Could you imagine if he did?  I don’t even want to think about it!!

Some may disagree with me, but I believe that its human nature to be mad and disappointed with God at times.  We are with everything else, so why be phony about this factual position?  We are fooling no one especially not HIM! He knows each and every one of us no matter how perfect we try to present ourselves to others.

My best words of advice on this controversial topic is to tell God how you feel.  In your anger, in your tears in your frustration….Be REAL with him!  He already knows anyway but you will feel so much better when you can get it out in the open with HIM first!  After you have “vented” immediately go into the act of asking for forgiveness, thank him, worship him and tell him that in spite of it all, you still trust him.  REALLY, what else are you going to do that makes sense, is profitable and will restore your sense of peace?

There is a song that I listen to when I am feeling this way.  It’s called “Fragile”. Listen to the words and I am sure you will be able to relate to each and every lyric.  God still has our backs no matter how mad we get or how improbable life seems to become.

Tasha Page-Lockhart – Fragile-   https://youtu.be/UGzjeLFCqCI

Spiritual Awareness

A Meaningful Existence

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I woke up this morning with the emotion of offense rushing through my spirit.  I am not a morning person by nature so this added sensation just agitated my already adverse demeanor.  I couldn’t shake it but I had to keep it under wraps before I geared my feelings towards my precious baby boy.  He is a complete handful in the morning and I often have to concentrate really hard on my reactions while getting him ready.  I don’t want to take my feelings out on him; for what I do daily IS mostly for him.

I am not 100% sure if I feel this way because I despise what I do for a living or I am frustrated with the challenging process of trying to turn what matters to me into something of value.  Maybe its a combination of the two.   This is the primary cause of my nasty disposition. How do I make the transition without suffering lack? I hate to admit that this alone is my greatest apprehension.  Balancing the use of wisdom while resisting fear can be a complex matter at times. This is one of them….

The clock goes off around 5:30 am and I intentionally take my time getting out the door.  If I rush while getting myself and my son together, that added stress would cause responses that I would regret.  I will get there when I get there! I am usually out the door around 7:15 am (or so).  I drop my son off at day-care, travel 60 minutes on the highway to my employer, then work an additional 8.5 hours doing duties that I completely loathe.  One additional hour back home and I have literally traded 10.5 hours of my life for a paycheck.  It sucks!  I mean really sucks!  To add insult to injury, while in the mirror this morning I noticed several new strands of silvery greys that I know were not there a week ago.  I am getting older.  Can’t afford to keep going on like this.  SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE!

I often find myself apologizing to God.  Ungratefulness is not my intent.  I make a very decent salary with excellent benefits.  There are a million people that would love to be in my position.  That’s where my guilt comes in.  I distinctly prayed for this position and now that I have it, I don’t want it.  It doesn’t fulfill my spirit and is far from my life’s greatest work.  I need to do something more meaningful and I hate spending so much of my time so far outside of my purpose.  I am working towards refining my gifts but bearing its fruit is a process; In the meantime I must survive……  This brick wall is the fuel that keeps me going even if my efforts don’t look like they are paying off.  Enough climbing latters and going after that next big position.  I have had enough of the Corporate America games.  I need life on my own terms.

I know that I am not alone.  I extend these sentiments to those who are not simply wishing for change but are operating in faith and working towards the same.  We were not designed to function in uselessness.  Our greatest life work should not be solely for a check.  We should be incorporating our gifts to benefit the lives of others.  That’s why we are here on earth. Until this happens, I am convinced that peace will never soothe the restless soul of the ambitious.

Staying in faith means remaining committed to knowing that God is directing my path.  My efforts are not in vain and while I am doing my part in the natural he is working out my end in the SUPERnatural.  Patience must be practiced along with consistent prayer.  Neither is an option less I’m labeled a hypocrite.

To my Lord: Give me the fortitude to endure while my weary body sacrifice’s time to develop my gifts which you said will make room for me. (Proverbs 18:16) In my waiting, I seek no reward, recognition, or empowerment from none other than you.  This is my fervent prayer.

To my readers: can you relate?  What are you doing today to change your tomorrow?  Whatever it is, don’t lose site in the challenges that will surface during the course.  If you are confident that you are on the right track, join me in minimizing earthly disturbances by keeping your mind on your heavenly father. Any other choice will jeopardize the revelation of true destiny. I think we have delayed matters long enough, it’s time to live a meaningful existence………..