Demise By Association

George Washington

I have mentioned in my introduction that I am extremely fond of motivational quotes.  They are short yet thought-provoking statements that influences me to keep life matters into perspective.  Sometimes they come to me as confirmation of a theory I already had.  I get terribly excited when I see someone else’s paraphrased notion in comparison to my own.

While on my lunch break at work this week, I was scanning the internet and ran across this proclamation:

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for tis better to be alone than in bad company.” President George Washington

I nearly shouted in the office! “That’s what I’m talking about George!” Although  I am not a political person to say the very least, the very 1st President of the United States of America earned my respect and attention with this one! His words of wisdom, admirable character, a believer in the Bible, and historic successful nature are all characteristics of a person that I want to know more about or associate with.  Amazing how these words spoken nearly two centuries ago still hold valid and true today.

One of my greatest fears is to wander aimlessly through life and get to my end with the harsh reality that I did nothing of remote significance to justify a respectable legacy notable of remembrance. This became more real to me once I became a mother.  I look into the face of my son daily and accept the great responsibility to pave the pathway for him.  I am not concerned if he grows up to fully appreciate my efforts or not. That’s solely his choice.  It is my duty as a parent to provide him with the best possible start in life. What he does with it is up to him. I know that this goal cannot be accomplished if I don’t associate myself with people of like minds that I can grow with, impart to, and learn from.

Over the past several months I have been taking an inventory of my life and those in it.  I found that I have been wasting an incredible amount of time that I can never recover on unproductive activities and people.  This statement is not meant to be an insult to anyone by far.  But I was sick and tired of going nowhere and desperately wanting to change my position.  I made a vow to myself to set some goals and commit to seriously working them daily in 2015. If I were to do this I had to make an assessment of people in my circle and gauge how they fit into my agenda.

When considering my very short list of friends and associates, I asked myself two questions; (1) Are they working on goals of their own or are they just drifting through their standard day-to-day experience? (2) How will maintaining this relationship at this time impact my desire to move forward and complement my own goals?  If I scratched my head too long with answering either question, I had to make the sometimes painful decision to back away.  Just because someone is in your yesterday does not mean they are supposed to remain in your today indefinitely.

I almost did not have to do much work when I began to pray about who should remain in my circle.  Some voluntarily walked away while others showed in their actions that they don’t have my best interest at hand.  I also had a long heart-to-heart talk with a woman I consider a true friend.  When I informed her about some of the actions of the people I called a friend she simply stated; “Why are you questioning answered prayer? You asked God to remove those that are not supposed to be in your life.  Now that they are gone you are surprised, Why is this?” Well that alone left me with the ultimate dumb look on my face for sure! I never considered looking at it that way!  She further challenged me to look at the individual lives of each person I was referencing.  What are they doing of significance? What do they have going on for themselves? Are they in a relationship? How can each one support your vision? Again I came back empty-handed with answers to most of these questions.  The conversation ended with the perception that I clearly need to re-build my circle from the ground up! (Thanks Ms. SG, You are Fabulous!)

This painful process has actually left me feeling very much alone in the friendship category.  But I am a few months in and when I look back I have gotten so much accomplished as a result.  I am so very proud of myself! It feels good! God is also beginning to bring new people into my life that I am anticipating building great relationships with.  The future finally looks awesome from this perspective!

A person can literally kill their character and assassinate their fullest potential by settling for less in those in their lives.  We all need relationships and desire friendships, but like George Washington said, it’s better to be alone at times than to compromise your destiny.  God will bring you who you need at the precise time that you need them!

Here are some clues that may indicate that a person may not need to be in your circle (Unfortunately, this may include people you are related to.):

>  They may show that they are jealous of you.

>  They suffer from paralysis and laziness in moving themselves forward.

>  Their definition of a come up is taking advantage of others.

>  They lack spiritual awareness combined with natural efforts.

> The bulk of their conversation is constant gossip, slander and judgement of others.

>  They are constantly complaining that they don’t have anything.

> They spend too much time on mindless entertainment. (Thus the reason why they probably don’t have anything!)

Now if you are a person reading this post that knows me personally, don’t make assumptions that this pertains to you.  Filling in the blanks is very dangerous territory.  Get to the source and facts!  If you are unclear where our relationship stands, CALL ME!  We can clear up that mystery with a simple conversation.  On the other hand if I am one that has slowed down your progression because we are on completely different pages right now, I respect that to the fullest and would NEVER walk in offense in this regard.  We can circle back later when the time is right.  Do your thing! I want nothing but the best for all I know and care for.  That’s REAL and genuine.

For now I must keep rolling with the confirmed wisdom of old.  Say what you want adversely about the 1st Father of our great country.  Today with these words, he’s alright with me!

One thought on “Demise By Association”

  1. CHANEL,

    I read your blogs. Thy are thought provoking, very interesting and honest. U would be a wonderful author I am sure. I absolutely loved ” coming on the scene in 2015″. Wow, now I feel like I need to be grammatically correct. You have everything in you to accomplish all your dreams…… I believe u will. I am envious and u have inspired me.



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