Soulful Sunday – Holy Rolling

  

Several years ago I walked away from the Lord for two years. I was severely broken, ashamed, angry and drowning in unforgiveness. I rarely let anyone know what I was going through. I also learned rather quickly that my stepping away adversely affected people other than myself.

During that time I reconnected with a friend who is not a believer. We had so much in common less our level of faith. We met over 5 years prior and although she didn’t share my strong beliefs, I snuck in opportunities to minister to her when ever I could. She even attended a Christian function with me but it just didn’t stick. 

When we started to get reacquainted again, she apparently was taken aback by my new dialect, demeanor and resistance to the Gospel and she was still not Saved. One of the first things she said was “Goodness you were such a Holy Roller When I first met you!” She sounded disgusted and relieved!! I was so offended! Of course I didn’t let her know my feelings and we simply laughed it off.

To me and at the time, being a “Holy Roller” meant someone who lives, breathes, thinks and positions themselves outwardly to others as a believer who can do no wrong! Always walking in the Glory and rarely phased by temptations. Always preaching the gospel and sometimes condemning others. I reflected if I really presented myself that way and felt ashamed because my mistakes and sins were now on public display! I was far from being Holy! 

I had also lost a friend of 10 years who I had led to Christ years prior. This particular friend called me a hypocrite because she was shocked to learn that I was going through a divorce and I never gave her a clue I was having trouble in my marriage. She apparently looked up to me and what she thought was my unmovable faith walk. When I fell, she became devastated and wanted nothing else to do with me. It was extremely painful because I never meant to deceive her or anyone else that way. My intentions were indeed genuine but because she poured out her pain to me and I never shared mine, I gave her a false impression that because I was saved my world was Rosy. I just prayed and encouraged her instead of dumping my mess on top of hers. That to her was the deception. I wasn’t being REAL!

I made a vow never to be a Holy Roller, by that definition again!

As time passed life really began to kick me in the guts! When I didn’t think I could get any further from the cross I did! My spirit became so weak and defeated in trying to maintain my stance of not becoming some goody-too-shoes, Holier-than-thou person that I had no other choices but to die or get back up and walk in Christ again. I ultimately chose the later, repented and began restoring my faith and relationship with my Savior.

This experience did teach me some valuable lessons for sure! I will never walk away again! Once a believer, you really know better and can’t turn off his voice from calling you back to his arms! Second, I will and must be more transparent in my struggles for it is part of my ministry and what God has called me to do differently this time. I must create balance without compromising my own faith or those of others. 
  

I’ve been back for nearly 4 years now and my “Prodigal Daughter” days are certainly over! I can’t go back to that ugly woman I had become especially after I had already tasted the Goodness of the Lord. (Gosh what was I thinking?? Oh yeah, I wasn’t! I was insane!!!) Holy Rolling by a refined definition is what I will be doing from here on out!
  

  

Have you ever been a Holy Roller by my initial definition?

Did you ever slip up as a Christian in front of people who expected you not to?

How did you handle it and respond?

On this Palm Sunday and approach of Holy Week, let’s “Roll Out” with much gratitude on what Christ did for us! For without His sacrifice,  none of us would ever be. 
 

 

27 thoughts on “Soulful Sunday – Holy Rolling”

  1. I walked away from God for five years because I couldn’t understand how he could be loving and yet allow all the pain in the world. I read a lot of books on that subject and gained some insight. I’m so glad I returned to the Lord. I am closer to him than ever before and I love his friendship and his guidance. I wouldn’t want to live one day without him again. And yes, I believe he was with me during those five years.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Belle I could not have said it better! Life is so much better with his covering! With him we just have to turn those bad things around and work them for our good! It’s our testimony. Thanks for the follow my new friend!☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know… I grew up in a church and have been in church all my life. I can say that I was considered to be a Holy Roller. At times you aren’t trying to be anything but a “good Christian girl”. Growing up in a Pentecostal church, that was expected. I was used to denying myself (No earrings, no perm, no pants, etc.) People really are uncomfortable around those they see as “Holy”. I remembered being called stuck up, because there were things I just wouldn’t do. I can say that I was a bit judgmental, unintentionally. Now that I am more mindful of that, I check myself and remind myself that- but for the grace of God… I have also prayed for God to allow me to see others, as He sees them. I later experience failure and realized that my self will can’t save me.

    And the part about your friend feeling disappointed in you- I can relate. I am used to being the pillar of strength. I support others and feel uncomfortable needing support. Once my friend had to remind me that it was okay to vent to her, she was always venting on me, now it was my turn. It’s tricky though for marriage, because I still feel some of the dirty laundry should be kept with in the marriage.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow Rose! So you know exactly what I’m talking about! It’s bondage but we don’t realize it initially because as babes in Christ we are doing what we are taught and never have bad intentions! It’s a growth process that I’m so glad to be experiencing. I just pray for those I unintentionally offended that they have or will find their way. It’s a seed planted non-the-less!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post 🙂 Sorry, it took so long for me to comment I have just been busy 🙂 Based on the posts I have read so far, I think you provide balance when talking about religion and I do not think you come off as a holy roller. Having said that, it is hard to tell If religious people like being called that or not, but I am not interested in labels. Speaking of Palm Sunday, it is hard to believe that this Sunday will be Easter 🙂 Time flies doesn’t it? 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful post! I love your testimony. We sometimes let others’ judgment of us take root knowing full well that only God can judge us. All you can do as a sinner is repent, surrender everything to God, and vow to do better. We all fall short, my friend, but every day that God wakes us up, we have a chance to do better all over again. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Hi Chanel – Thanks so much for following my post. I just read this post and really appreciate your candor and transparency. I have been a Christian a long time and in my early young adult Christian days, I was very judgmental. I praise God now that he has humbled me and made me so much more appreciative of him choosing to set his love upon me, and helping, making me see that him choosing me was not based on me and my works, but his loving kindness and grace. I look forward to reading more from you and your journey.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Barbara! Thanks so much for stopping by and reading this post! This was an experience during a very painful time in my life and loosing this friend added to that pain, but God was in it all. I just didn’t know it at the time. Thank you for sharing your story as well. I think it’s just about us growing in him that brings on the change we both speak about thus great testimonies!! I am so with you in the humility walk! Again thanks for following and have a Blessed Holy Week!😇

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow 20 years! How did you stay sane? I guess the flesh can sustain what it wants when its stubborn. I know that to be true with my experience at least! But he always calls those back who are called! So glad you made your way! Thanks for sharing Rick and have a blessed Holy Week!

      Like

  6. Thanks for sharing the real story, Chanel! We are often unaware that God hates the religious also! Christianity really is not a religion. Religion is man trying to get to God. Christianity of course is God making a way to redeem man back to His (God’s) image. It’s relationship: experiential knowledge of Him – intimacy with our Creator, Father, Redeemer, Brother, Friend, Sanctifier, Bridegroom. (He gives us so many metaphors because no single one suffices!)
    Again, love that He has called you to Real Talk about coming to live the Real Life!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Amen to all you have written! It’s the relationship! I didn’t know that at first as a babe in Christ. I was stuck in a church full of religion and thought that’s what it was about but lesson learned for sure as I continue to grow and experience him! Blessings my friend!😇

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hello Chanel. I have been through a severe crisis of faith at one time.

    I was a teenager at college and I had not been prepared for the reality of faith. The reality is that following God is not a simple or straightforward exercise. I was to learn that the greatest servants of God don’t necessarily go to Church every Sunday.

    I started to hear many different ideas about the meaning of life and of the afterlife. Soon I realised that you shouldn’t judge someone as a good person just because they say that they are a Christian and likewise, those who don’t say this are not necessarily loving and caring people.

    I spent quite a while searching for whether God existed. Eventually, I got my answer. When I let him God spoke to me.

    My faith is stronger for my crisis of faith in my teenage years and I now feel that I can better understand how near someone is to heaven from their actions and beliefs. I have found myself saying to a few non-believers how close they are to heaven and then I’ve tried to help them make the final step.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Harry that was a great testimony and thanks for sharing. I think we have all been there at some point in our lives. As long as we learn the lesson from these experiences then we are headed in the right direction. It’s called growth in Him. For me I think my situation with that friend ended the way that it was supposed to. She was very needy, pulling on me constantly and I was getting weak because I was going through my own stuff. Thought I was doing her a favor by not dumping But……Never-the-less I’m a better person today and I know you are as well. Thanks again!! Happy Palm Sunday!😇

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Although our paths may be different, I think many people have experienced similar circumstances where we have “disappointed” those who believed in us rather than believing in Him. It’s not okay to become a stumbling block to others, but Jesus understands that we will stumble in our walk with Him and our fellow Christians should be understanding and help us back up rather than judge us. (James 4:11-12) Thank you for sharing part of your testimony. Praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes RSGullett, I think that’s what I did was disappoint someone during my walk but I learned she was watching me too hard instead of Christ who is blameless! I pray today she has found her way. I know I certainly have. Thanks for commenting , the prayers and happy Palm Sunday to you!😇

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m not religious btw. I just want to point out that that friend you lost because she put you on a pedestal and you didn’t live up to her expectations is just lame. Better off without that kind of negativity. It is good you have direction and purpose. I have no problem with people getting through life committed to their God . I just know I will never be a religious person but happy psalm Sunday to you ,all the same

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have a problem with religion/religious people as well! Too many rules, structure and twisting of scripture! I consider myself a Believer in Christ with a very personal relationship with him that only he can judge. I’m no longer easily persuaded by “Religion”. Thank Goodness! I could not help but laugh when I read you comment. I soooo appreciate it being so genuine, raw and real! You are right about that friend for sure! She had her eyes on me like I was God and that’s also what Relgion can do. Some people idol preachers and evangelist, etc instead of that personal relationship I referred to earlier. To this day we are still not friends and I’m fine with that. Her choice and I’ve accepted that my season with her is over! Thanks so much for commenting DaisyWillows. Always a pleasure hearing from you!😊

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh, I can certainly relate! When I first started my intentional faith walk with Christ I was a mess (let alone a ticking time bomb) I paired it with religion and was the ultimate “Holy Roller” by your initial definition. I had my husband and children running for cover – no lol 👎 and believe me I had no idea that I had been planting seeds against Christ not to build his kingdom. Thank God after some real searching and one on one time with my studies and fellowship with a smaller church rather than a mega, God restored me ever so gently. I’m still very much a work in progress but one day, prayer, and scripture at a time. Great post and i loved the comments as well!!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s