Ever had a memory from your past trigger some adverse emotions that you thought for sure you had dealt with and was completely over? You thought you were good with that event. The door was closed and you convinced yourself that you were done. It’s a part of your past and you are a better person today because of it. But something took you back there and you relived the moment. A cord was struck flaring up old feelings that are still there and may possibly remain…..
This is exactly what happened to me early this evening. I had a relatively awesome day. Went to church, spent the afternoon with my family, then took a drive into the city of Philadelphia to take my step-children back home after they spent the weekend with us. My husband was driving and since we stopped to see my mother-in-law he decided to take a very different yet scenic route to where the children live. That route happened to be through a neighborhood that held a great deal of painful accounts for me. The memories came back suddenly and all at once. Before I knew it, my mind was flooded with all kinds of recollections and thoughts. I went back to that place when I was just 22 years old and began to feel like this parentless, undeserving, neglected, unloved, vulnerable and struggling young lady. Before I realized what was happening I began to feel sick to my stomach, a bit angry about the cards of life I had been dealt and very close to tears. This whirl wind of emotions lasted about 30 minutes. There use to be a time when something like this could have had me down for hours or even days. But that was still ½ hour out of my day that was completely unwarranted!
The ride back to my home in Delaware from North East Philadelphia is about 45 minutes to 1 hour-long. When my husband got on the highway I finally came too and realized that I was allowing my mind to run away with itself. I had to take my thoughts captive! I took my IPhone, pulled out my earbuds, and launched a YouTube self-help teaching that spoke the opposite of what my mind was feeding on.
Parentless – NOT – I am a child of The Most High!
Undeserving – NOT – All good and perfect things are given to me by The Most High!
Neglected – NOT – I am never forsaken by The Most High!
Unloved – NOT – The Most High is crazy about me! (So is my husband, my son, my step-children, and a few others!)
Vulnerable – MAYBE but only towards the things that concern The Most High!
Struggling – NOT – My every need is supplied by none other than the Most High!
I’M SO OVER IT!! THAT’S REAL TALK!!!
My mind is a constant chatterbox. I must train it daily to focus on things that are healthy or it can wander off to most anywhere. This training is a process but I can certainly say that I have come a very long way from this time last week, last month and certainly last year! Keeping this blog is actually a part of that process. I channel a great deal of my thoughts here.
2nd Corinthians 10:5 says that we must take EVERY thought captive. Not a select few but every single one of them. I read somewhere that the average human being has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day! (I have no doubt that I am on the high-end of that estimate!) Trying to monitor them all and sorting through which ones should be considered and which should not sounds like an exhausting full-time responsibility. Never-the-less, we must in order to be the healthiest, most productive, and most sound mentally.
When I consider the course of events that happened to me today, I truly believe that it’s not about the further you are out in history from what haunts the mind but how seasoned you are at training your thoughts. Anything else is simply suppression. You can forget about a harsh event by avoiding people, places and things that remind you but do a drive by, run into someone who was there with you, or let a memory take root and you can become the same victim of that set of circumstances.
Consider the man or woman who cheats on their mate – The act started with an uncaptured thought.
What about that person who suffered from depression for years suddenly began doing well then started to go back to their old depressive ways. – The act certainly started with an uncaptured thought.
Or how about that person that was free from drugs or alcohol abuse for years then they relapse – The act probably started with an uncaptured thought.
What about those adverse words spoken that really weren’t meant – They were uttered without capturing thoughts that should have been pondered on before speaking.
There are many other life scenarios that support this theory. Most things manifest in the mind constantly; both good and evil. But the person who wants to take control over repetitive and vicious cycles in their life should begin by considering that mass between their ears. Take every thought captive and be victorious over the battle in your mind!
Who is bold enough with me today to admit that the process is REAL!