So that thing you thought was a game changer didn’t quite work out the way you had hoped, planned and prayed. That relationship, that job, that business venture, that spontaneous move, or that new thing you just felt so confident would alter your life for the better. Now it has fizzled, fallen completely apart leaving you feeling like a failure. You have come to the harsh reality that salvaging is by no means possible. What remains are not fragmented pieces but fine sprinkles of dust far beyond reconstruction. No matter how many times you play your steps over and over again in your mind, your ego remains crushed, your heart broken, your esteem scarred, and your mind constantly wondering what exactly went wrong. What to do now in the midst of your devastation?
I’m inspired to write about this because I am going through a situation like this right now. I had no doubt that this thing was for me and me for it. I asked, I prayed, I believed and I received! But still I failed! Natural human instincts was to self-examine. What did I do wrong in the process? I found many faults that I would not have recognized before-hand until I fell flat on my face. I did not take these as lessons initially but saw myself as a complete failure for I have never been at this place before and was completely baffled. When I came too and realized that this mindset was not going to be healthy for the long term for myself, nor my family, I went into regroup mode. What do I REALLY do next?
Prayer: As a believer, the first step should always be to pray especially if you really don’t know what to do going forward. I must admit that I did NOT do this initially and paid the price for not submitting all things to the one who has it all under control to begin with! I paid the ultimate price in my mind. No one to blame but me for I know better! So completely thankful for unconditional love in my savior, husband and children. I don’t know how they put up with me at times for real!!!
Reassess the Situation: Failure is not all bad! They are lessons to refine, shape, and improve our character. This only happens if we don’t keep making the same mistakes and learn from the initial mishaps. As much as I hate admitting this, failure is truly part of the formula for achievement. Not a new revelation by far, but rather a stark reminder! Embrace the lessons and keep them in your FRONT pocket when faced with yet another forward moving opportunity. They will always present themselves as long as your eyes are open to recognize them.
Forgive Yourself: This was a challenge for I am usually very hard on myself. (Proud Petunia what they call me!) I want to succeed and be the best at all efforts put forward especially when I am in full motivation gear. When things don’t work out I come down tough on myself. Yeah, I might need a little kick in the pants but sometimes I smash my own face in the dirt when I am already down for way too long. Can you relate? Truth is, the longer I am down and blinded by the muck, I can’t see my way forward. I’m so over it, NEXT!
Change Your Attitude: Another chance will come so stay encouraged and watchful. I am in my “meantime” and waiting. Taking advantage of this “Down” period is key. Dusting myself off by getting my psyche in order, mentally spiritually and emotionally is a precondition. I will be ready for the next break and have my “Lessons Learned” notes handy for reference. I am still the blessed bomb if you haven’t already heard! Aren’t you?
Help Someone Else: While I am waiting I am taking advantage of times to help other people who are struggling in areas that I have had success in. I had an opportunity to do this twice last week and found that this is a great recipe for my little damaged ego! Most importantly, edifying is necessary as a believer! All things work together………
What failed thing are you beating yourself up about that you need to look at differently? Find the opportunities in those misfortunes and take the recommended steps above with me. (Preferably In Order!) You will look back and find the necessary beauty in Failing Forward.