Category: Girl Stuff

Definition of a Diva – II


The world of television has changed significantly over the past decade or more.  We have been consumed with the concept of “Reality” shows.  They now rule our choices of tube entertainment.  It is very difficult to find a decent program to tune into without having a host of Reality shows as the dominating selection of already limited options. Reality TV is supposed to be unscripted lineups that represent actual occurrences featuring mostly previously unknown cast members.  The agenda is marketed as nothing short of real to its viewing audience.  The concept has caught on like wildfire; captivating watchers from all walks of life.

Although I am not an avid TV watcher I can admit that I too have gotten caught up like most.  During a time between my school classes I began to tune into a very popular weekly Reality show.  It’s supposed to depict a group of married women living the fabulous life style and their day-to-day activities on how they define, reach and maintain success.  After 7 seasons, this show has an estimated weekly viewer count of nearly 4.5 million people.  DIVAhood at its very finest!

At first watching felt like mindless amusement.  I looked at it as a way of mental escape from the pressures of work, relationships, bills and other life priorities. But as the weeks went by I allowed the show’s content to seep into my psyche in a negative way.  The shift was subtle and I can’t quite pin point when the turn began to happen; but it did.

The women on the show are all in my age range.  Each one has the classic Diva mentality; (The original description I described in Definition of a Diva I). Some personalities are much more exaggerated than others.  None would dare to be caught on camera in anything less than fabulous concerning their hair, makeup and attire.  They are always adorned in designer clothes, hand bags, and jewelry.  They live in grand houses, drive fancy cars and attend upscale events.  They constantly treat themselves to pampering sessions and cuisine at fine restaurants.  As I got deeper into my views of the show I hate admitting that I began to feel a bit envious. I could not understand for the likes of me why these particular women deserved to live their lives in a way I had only dreamed of. Who in the world decided these women were interesting enough to get noticed at this level and given the opportunity to live above the middle class?  (Yes, I was a momentary “Hater” but have no problem admitting this.  Again, I am here to keep it REAL!)

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a couple of them on the show where their hard work and accomplishments give them a notable edge. They deserve their props.  Then there are others that made me wonder, “Why is she on the show?”  I also began to wonder why I was never considered “That Girl” who deserved similar things.  Did the women on the show have some kind of divine luck that just has not been in the cards for me? This irrational thinking did not last long but it was disturbing to me how I allowed it, even for a moment and wondered how many other viewers would even admit that they have felt the same at times.

When it finally dawned on me that my original purpose for tuning into the show had shifted adversely, I began to look closer at the individual lives of each woman.  The show is packed with constant drama which is one of the main reasons I suspect that people keep tuning in week after week.  The women often demonstrate themselves as friends, but they constantly stab each other in the back in their actions, words and sometimes physical altercations.  They can be the epitome of phony when they get into the company of one another.  Half of them are not even married adding to my confusion of why they are even on the show in the first place. Some that started off committed to specific values have now compromised them for the sake of a continued spot on the show, ratings and ultimately a check.  Others have come from past experiences that reflect the good old fashion way of a woman using what she has in order to get ahead.  Some still do this on the set today.  I forgot to mention that plastic surgery is at an all-time high in order to keep up the image of youthful, sexy perfection.

Beyonce Knowles, defines “Diva” as a Female Hustler in a popular song entitled by the same name.  According to the Urban Dictionary, Hustlers are people who make money by any means necessary.  Another documented definition is someone who knows how to get money from others in the form of illegal drug sales, rolling dice, and pimpin! If I had to consider this alone, I guess the “Pimpin” describes the women on this show precisely!

When considering what’s truly real, do we really have to conduct ourselves this way in order to make a name for ourselves or get ahead?  When I directed this question towards myself I have to admit that my conscious would never allow me to disgrace my standards while influencing others with this false reality. I could not live with myself knowing that I am making a loud statement that these choices are the only way to experience prosperity.

I also feel strongly that shows like this give the false perception of friendship among women which is already a very sensitive and complicated matter as it is.  Reality shows disgrace the position of womanhood and how we should conduct ourselves and resolve conflict.  I know this self- righteous position is not popular and would never sell.  But I would rather work three times harder than these women in a positive way to position myself than to reduce my standards down to my lips, hips, tits and ish! I know that sex sells but frankly, I’m not that desperate.

I will still be watching with the majority but making sure that I never lose sight of my own agenda and goals to maintain balance in the right direction. Anyone who puts more efforts into knowing the lifestyles of the characters on their favorite Reality show than their own situation, probably deserves to be broke and stuck in envy. They already have theirs; the rest of us “Divas” (By the latter description in Definition of a Diva I),  have to get ours by our own classification!  Until next week; GIRL BYE!

Definition of a Diva – I

Diva II

The term “Diva” has seemed to evolve in description overtime.  Originally it was used to define a talented female performer or actress that has reached a certain level of fame.  Established popularity grants this labeled woman the right to conduct herself anyway she pleases in attitude, expression and otherwise.  Her temperament is sometimes edgy, arrogant and disrespectful; however her undeniable talent overshadows demeanor thus publically accepted by the majority as suitable for the title.  Because of their very public lives, the conduct of these women reflects a desperate pursuit to continuously reinvent themselves in order to remain industry and generationally relevant.

An expanded and more admirable definition of a “Diva” is a woman who exudes a healthy sense of self-confidence and self-respect. She commands a room upon entry and people gravitate towards her because of her assurance.  She knows exactly what she wants, where she is going and has an idea of how she will get there. (When she is not sure she will fake it until she makes it!) She is talented, beautiful and awe-inspiring in style and personality.  A well put together woman with class and swagger.  She is often desired and admired by both women and men alike.

When considering a preference of which definition of “Diva” I personally prefer and respect, it would be the latter over the initial.  I would add a critical element which I will discuss later in this post.

Notable Diva Mentions:  All fabulously talented women indeed!

60’s & 70’s




Patti Labelle

Janet Jackson

Mariah Carey



Whitney Houston

Toni Braxton

Nikki Minaj

Aretha Franklin


Paul Abdul

Kim Kardashian

Barbara Streisand

Gloria Estefan

Celine Dion

Taylor Swift

Tina Turner

Oliva Newton-John

Brittany Spears

Myle Sirus

Bette Midler

Brigitte Nielsen

Christina Aguilera

Lady GaGa

The message our society trends about being a “Diva” today has become relatively shallow.  Our youth, especially those easily influenced bear the brunt of those consequences.  They mostly define the term as women who have a lot of glitter, glamour, fortune and fame.  The Fabulous Life is the image they pursue and portray.  They typically flaunt trivial items such as designer clothes, jewelry, stilettos, hair extensions, and flawless air brushed makeup; illustrating the image of ageless perfection.  The “All eyes on me” mentality, promotes the mindset of admiration with a hint of envy which ultimately stimulates the need to mock in their young followers. This can be dangerous territory on the reality of life, what is important, establishing strong self-esteem and a healthy self-image; more so for those who are without guiding mentors.

“Divas” themselves know that the lifestyle can so be short and constantly threatened.  There is always the upcoming or competitive “Diva” on the tails of the aging seeking to dominate and take over the spotlight.  This is just the circle of the life style and never ends.

Have you ever considered a “Diva” in the height of her day?  Fast forward 10-20 years and she is not as in demand as she use to be.  Then a young lady seems to emerge out of no where and takes over the throne.  The once popular “Diva” cuts an eye silently stating, “Who does she think she is?”.  Her words express admiration for the new comer when asked but her body language tells an entirely different story. The aging Diva ultimately fades off into the sunset, making periodic appearances acting as if she is still at the height of her reign for she knows no other way to be.   I bet you can name a few that you have seen this happen to; But it doesn’t have to be that way.

A “Diva” can remain one in mind, body and spirit at any stage and age of her life as long as she has the right perspective.  The circle of new comers will never stop. Instead of viewing this fact as a threat it should be seized as opportunity.  New inexperienced “Divas” typically show a hint of similar talents held by their predecessors. They were inspired by them before they came on the scene and probably watched and studied them intensely to perfect their own talent. A REAL “Diva” would make the most out of this and show true class by mentoring.  The young need the experienced to show them the way.  Otherwise they are at risk of repeating critical mistakes that could have been avoided had others not sat back and watched in bitterness because their time is winding down.

A respected “Diva” will strive to leave an unselfish legacy.  Impart wisdom and experiences on those that are following in their traveled paths.  Competing ,judging and passing the baton bitterly is not the answer. If it’s not passed willingly, it will get snatched regardless.  Why not let go with class and allow your name to live on positively?   I believe that lending a helping hand as the youth themselves journey towards maturity is the icing on the cake of a true, confident and secure “Diva”.

What do you think?